Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - It's the end of the world as we know it

[dobby]

There was an old man called Raoul,
He cackled at being so cruel,
His horse racing comp,
Once had a big stomp,
But now it's just flushed down the loo.

[Raoul Duke III]

There was an old man called Raoul,
He cackled at being so cruel,
His horse racing comp,
Once had a big stomp,
But now it's just flushed down the loo.

Hope it's not English that you do be teaching.

[dobby]

Hope it's not English that you do be teaching.

Nah, I struggle to teach the subjects I have a degree in

Nice to see the entry touched a nerve anyway, current leader imo

[Murdrum]

There once was a teacher called Dob
Who was a far cry from your typical Yob
English wasn’t his Forte
And while we’re not expecting him Hemingway
Thankfully rhyming is not part of his job.

[Raoul Duke III]

Standards definitely improving.

[Solksjaer!]

Our Connor could fly up the hill, was like he’d taken a pill,
We he got slightly older , Gab went and sold her
And rubbed titties with the dollar bills

[Dice75]

A former IPBer not into this horse racing Comp
Decided hotel poker was more his pomp
Not long after being busted
Two brassers to hurt him he entrusted
And up his ass the hot hair straightener did stomp

[Solksjaer!]

To Explain.
Mystery Guess a Rugby detractor, and considered an over reactor,
Got bent over a bannister,
by two men from Lenister,
he got buggered by Ruggers in his backdor

[Strewelpeter]

A former IPBer not into this horse racing Comp
Decided hotel poker was more his pomp
Not long after being busted
Two brassers to hurt him he entrusted
And up his ass the hot hair straightener did stomp

This feels more like a confession than an attempt to win the prize

[Solksjaer!]

I'm not in the comp but these are fun. I put Dobby in the lead.


Kayroo the right honourable was reposing,
A rest after his court Juxtaposing,
He’d roared NO RECOURSE,
But his voice went quite ‘horse’
and forgot what it was he’s opposing

[Murdrum]

Hotspur was a bit of prophet
IPB’s own Scarlett Moffatt
Rarely was fazed
And always well phrased
His advice was rarely to scoff at

[Gimmeabreak]

There once was a man we'll call Brown
In his head, a big wig of renown
With a holiday retreat
In the west, so sweet
But in truth his bet on a horse let him down!

[Gimmeabreak]

There once was a guest full of mystery
Who swore he disliked horse racing and its history
He'd complain 'bout each thing
But no ears did it bring
While he talked himself into a flutter

[Raoul Duke III]

This is promising.

[Solksjaer!]

Any Office fans . Yer man who played big Keith died. Big fellow . What are the options again ?

[Dice75]

This feels more like a confession than an attempt to win the prize

Clue is in the second word

[DeadParrot]

Jennies Jewel pushed and out with a wail
came a no legged filly named Sinn Fail.
Unable to neither gallop nor to trot,
if she escaped her horse box,
To find her you could follow the trail.

[Opr]

Tesla rolled out FSD update to select people last night. It looks very impressive!

There is a part in the video when the guy does a u-turn which apparently the car couldn't do prior to the updates. A Tesla rep claims they didn't train this but is an emergent behaviour, wtf? I mean, yeah chat models, alright lets see what they can do but not sure we want self driving cars developing emergent behaviour as we use them

[balfejohn]

There was a young horse called our Conor
who unfortunately now is a goner
with every year passes
we still raise our glasses
And remember him with this comp in his honour

[DeadParrot]

On a last minute getaway trip,
having botoxed and plumped up her lips.
said SatNav to her beau
When I say stop it means go
and as a mare, I quite like the whip

[DeadParrot]

Heres the tale of the man they call rigger
who attempted to increase his vigor
how he did it might shock
he tied weights to his cock
in the belief it would make his knob bigger

[MysteryGuest]

Sticking this up Raoul won’t see it as he’s a snowflake

On IPB there is a large cohort
Who think that rugbys a legitimate sport
Even though world wide it’s played by fuck all
And the Vodafone greens sing the dirge Ireland call
they don’t listen to sense or withdraw their support

have a few spicier ones to be released if people post anymore of their sick rape fantasies

[Opr]

This is the bit I find interesting...have there been any studies yet I wonder on what happens if, for example, 20/30/40/50% of mid-high paying jobs are AI-d out of existence in the next 5-10 year. What are the implications for tax raising potential, social services, infrastructural projects and, importantly, security.

If all the jobs go, and no one has any money... what does that REALLY look like?

Does it happen so fast we can't stop it?

Can we stop it but are paralysed by indecision?

Who will consume AI products and services if no one has any money cos there are no jobs left?

Could this be a catalyst for an economic revolutions as big, if not bigger that, the invention of money? The industrial revolution?

Is it the end of capitalism and we need a new system to support human life on earth? How long would that revolution take and what would it look like?

Etc...

Interestingly, Sam Altman wrote this blog post about the need for a new system back in 2021 which relates to many of those questions.

Moore's Law for Everything (samaltman.com)

[DeadParrot]

Fair too many "nice" limericks here imo

Hitchhiker was once fond of a jar
causing him trouble at home and afar
having sown his wild oats
with fillys both fine and quite gross
his wife left, where was once testes, a scar

[Solksjaer!]

Sticking this up Raoul won’t see it as he’s a snowflake

On IPB there is a large cohort
Who think that rugbys a legitimate sport
Even though world wide it’s played by fuck all
And the Vodafone greens sing the dirge Ireland call
they don’t listen to sense or withdraw their support

have a few spicier ones to be released if people post anymore of their sick rape fantasies

Mystery, it's not you fault, it's not your fault. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT .

So glad to meet you Angelassss

[Raoul Duke III]

Fair too many "nice" limericks here imo

Hitchhiker was once fond of a jar
causing him trouble at home and afar
having sown his wild oats
with fillys both fine and quite gross
his wife left, where was once testes, a scar

Oats....gross...

Still, on the right track.

[dinekes]

Here's one I prepared earlier ..

There once was a man called Hunt
Who was fond of a Fitzwilliam punt
On the Punto bet Franko
He still did his tank though
The dealer of course was a cunt

[balfejohn]

Sticking this up Raoul won’t see it as he’s a snowflake

On IPB there is a large cohort
Who think that rugbys a legitimate sport
Even though world wide it’s played by fuck all
And the Vodafone greens sing the dirge Ireland call
they don’t listen to sense or withdraw their support

have a few spicier ones to be released if people post anymore of their sick rape fantasies

Last line let’s u down , I guest it’s a mystery line

[Raoul Duke III]

Mystery, it's not you fault, it's not your fault. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT .

So glad to meet you Angelassss

The poster Solksjaer is betimes called Willie
He constructs limericks both sublime and silly
Could he be great?
Is he the next Yeats?
Not while he wears girls blouses so frilly

[Solksjaer!]

The poster Solksjaer is betimes called Willie
He constructs limericks both sublime and silly
Could he be great?
Is he the next Yeats?
Not while he wears girls blouses so frilly

I do have an interest in girls blouses

[Wombatman]

I prompted multiple generative AI models with "Write a funny limerick about an Artificial Intelligence aficionado who's name is 'Opr'".

The results were brutal. Still a good way to go. The limerick should the Turing test for our age.

[AndyFatBastard]

AI update: Got another one of these on my desk this morning. Turns out I had written a summary in the free text fields of the source material but had forgotten to update the specific fields the AI takes it's data from. "Garbage in, garbage out" is always going to be a thing and people aren't going away (yet).

[DeadParrot]

Our hero, while longing for l'amour
Hired a brasser at the price of a score
She rode him all night
On his chest, curled a shite
14 wombats, he rated, the hoar

[DeadParrot]

At Naas racecourse, suite 164,
A dead hooker was found on the floor.
The police examining the scene,
found the area quite clean
apart from a note, signed in blood, OPR

[DeadParrot]

With a feeling of incomprenible dread
with bright feathers still showering his head
Denny awoke from his jag
Special K, speed and skag
he had fucked that poor parrot, now dead

[Raoul Duke III]

With a feeling of incomprenible dread
with bright feathers still showering his head
Denny awoke from his jag
Special K, speed and skag
he had fucked that poor parrot till it was dead

disturbing

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

Fair too many "nice" limericks here imo

Hitchhiker was once fond of a jar
causing him trouble at home and afar
having sown his wild oats
with fillys both fine and quite gross
his wife left, where was once testes, a scar

ha, thats brilliant. (and also the reason why I keep testes safe (in a jar)).

[DeadParrot]

disturbing

Agreed, adjusted to fit cadence

[Solksjaer!]

Hector Jelly , was running in Puerto Vallarta,
He got caught in the Jacks and was then a non starter,
To save himself face, he withdrew from the race,
Mexican Food Equals a nervous farter

[Mellor]

.

Anyone who suggests that platypuses* are not natures Frankenstein needs jabs back their zoo annual pass.
Venomous, no stomach, no teeth.
Lay eggs, nurse young with milk despite no nipples. Monotremes, meaning one hole. The first stuffed one brought back to Europe was assumed to be a hoax

[Mellor]

When loot at the races, won Hitch,
He felt that familiar itch,
”I’m not really fussy.
but fond of black pussy”,
Fille noire, his loot did enrich

[Raoul Duke III]

An Antipodean bisexual called Mellor
Enthusiastically rode both sheilas and fellas
But the most ecstatic joy
For this priapic boy
Was to bugger himself with an umbrella

[MysteryGuest]

There once was a big city banker
A well known horse industry wanker
Did he rent out his account
For a large cash amount?
I don’t know but it led to some rancour

[ComradeCollie]

Tickets for Tim Dillon at Vicar Street are on presale. Code 'fakebiz'. https://www.ticketmaster.ie/tim-dill...00604C85B12334

[Strewelpeter]

It's 'Rancour', you'd expect that you of all people would know that

[Solksjaer!]

Tickets for Tim Dillon at Vicar Street are on presale. Code 'fakebiz'. https://www.ticketmaster.ie/tim-dill...00604C85B12334

Booked Tuesday With Morries for April. I was referring to the book during my mothers illness . We all had a day of the week with her . Mine was Thursdays with Peggy .


This was not a Limerick

[MysteryGuest]

There was a poster on IPB named Roaul
Citizens from outside the pale he likes to ridicule
A culchie pissing in a pub jacks
Thinks there goes Roaul dukes Tax
Now shut up and keep funding me fool

[Goodluck2me]

Any Office fans . Yer man who played big Keith died. Big fellow . What are the options again ?

Eczema was it?

[Murdrum]

Lazare arose from the dead
Admiring views from a Killiney bed
He finished erecting his blinds
But not before he enshrined
His park run number on the garden shed

[Goodluck2me]

There, posted a Mystery Guest,
Displeasures to get off his chest,
Aimed at climate and racing, and auditor debasing,
But for rugby he oft’ saves his best.

[MysteryGuest]

Speaking of rugby- lots of hand wringing and gnashing of teeth from rugby pundits about the funeral home like atmosphere in landsdowne road for 6 nations games
poor spoiled lads on corporate jollies being blamed but they are all missing the fact that atmosphere in sport is directly related to stakes and there is almost never anything at stake in sisuch a shallow uncompetitive competition.

must really be getting to them that these days there’s a better atmosphere at your average LOI game

[Goodluck2me]

Speaking of rugby- lots of hand wringing and gnashing of teeth from rugby pundits about the funeral home like atmosphere in landsdowne road for 6 nations games
poor spoiled lads on corporate jollies being blamed but they are all missing the fact that atmosphere in sport is directly related to stakes and there is almost never anything at stake in sisuch a shallow uncompetitive competition.\

must really be getting to them that these days there’s a better atmosphere at your average LOI game

More a reflection of how good Ireland are, as a season ticket holder for the soccer I’m not sure it’s a great comparison. Outside of Portugal a couple years back its been dead there for years

[MysteryGuest]

More a reflection of how good Ireland are, as a season ticket holder for the soccer I’m not sure it’s a great comparison. Outside of Portugal a couple years back its been dead there for years

Was referring to league of Ireland games, that’s where the cool kids getting their sporting fix now

[Opr]

Google is buying all of reddit data for 60m a year to train its models. I think it might be worth you guys approaching one of the pension chat bot companies to see how much they would pay for IPB BBV data.

[Raoul Duke III]

Google is buying all of reddit data for 60m a year to train its models. I think it might be worth you guys approaching one of the pension chat bot companies to see how much they would pay for IPB BBV data.

I think our limerick IP must be worth at least twice that.

[zuutroy]

Given at least half of them dont even have the right meter, I wouldn't be so sure!

[balfejohn]

On IPB we have a Guest
Who likes to get things off his chest
The only mystery that does appear
Is why most IPBers laugh rather than fear
Do any of you find that Queer ah heyor

[Raoul Duke III]

Given at least half of them dont even have the right meter, I wouldn't be so sure!

There was a deviant professor called Zuut
Who trained a monkey to suck on his flute
That poor innocent chimp
Who was Zuutroy's gimp
Eventually bit it off at the root

[dinekes]

Anyone who suggests that platypuses* are not natures Frankenstein needs jabs back their zoo annual pass.
Venomous, no stomach, no teeth.
Lay eggs, nurse young with milk despite no nipples. Monotremes, meaning one hole. The first stuffed one brought back to Europe was assumed to be a hoax

Doesn't even ryhme!