Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - It's the end of the world as we know it

[Raoul Duke III]

Obviously some Horsehead Elitist thing but I got a very glossy brocheure for private plane hire sent to me (at work) today and welcoming me as a member. Jetfly.

Finally made it.

[Denny Crane]

Obviously some Horsehead Elitist thing but I got a very glossy brocheure for private plane hire sent to me (at work) today and welcoming me as a member. Jetfly.

Finally made it.

I've been seeing their ads on Instagram, must still be some zirp VC money lying around.

[Iago]

I knew I was missing something, now I know what it is.

[Raoul Duke III]

I knew I was missing something, now I know what it is.

That's exactly how I felt!

Brought home the materials and convinced the family we now have a private jet account. Wondering is it crueller to let it ride or just hit them with the truth.

[ComradeCollie]

If you think of a person does their face not appear in your mind?

I'd recognize people on the street from their arse more than their face. Like I'd recognise someones arse from about 40m away, but if they were walking towards me I wouldn't notice their face until they were 5m away. Mostly when I think of people it's the things they've said or to a lesser extent done.

[ComradeCollie]

Replaced the drive belt in a 20+ year old shitty cassette walkman, just because it was there. Listened to the first track of 'Spice' on it

[DeadParrot]

Not a limerick, but the wife liked this

On the cusp of life's mid century,
What more can this latchkey bear to see?
A world on the brink of catastrophe
Leaders for just the sap and not the tree

[MysteryGuest]

Nice to see “Banty” doing well out of the state sanctioned human trafficking.

there will be some scandal in a few years when all the stories are out about some of the greediest worst cunts in the country making out like bandits while pretending they are humanitarians.

sweet deal for hoteliers at least though- shut your doors- get paid way more than you would have year round- let staff go - let the refugees sort their own shit out

[Raoul Duke III]

Not a limerick, but the wife liked this

On the cusp of life's mid century,
What more can this latchkey bear to see?
A world on the brink of catastrophe
Leaders for just the sap and not the tree

That one wouldn't win you entry to the most poetic tipping comp in the world.

A reminder that limerick entries for the Golden Ticket close tomorrow at midnight so keep 'em coming.

[Lazare]

There was an oul punter called Hitch

Who felt a degenerate itch

He went were the course is

Looking for horses

But ended up backing a bitch

[dobby]

There was an oul punter called Hitch

Who felt a degenerate itch

He went were the course is

Looking for horses

But ended up backing a bitch

Bucking for backing and you have a winner imo.

[BennyHiFi]

Replaced the drive belt in a 20+ year old shitty cassette walkman, just because it was there. Listened to the first track of 'Spice' on it

Where did you get the belt? I have a perfectly good one which just broke down and am sure the belt just stopped working. How do you know that's it exactly? Could Google but sure why would I when Collie knows

Cheers

[Goodluck2me]

Watching this on repeat, can’t think of another gig with so much emotional energy.

[ComradeCollie]

Where did you get the belt? I have a perfectly good one which just broke down and am sure the belt just stopped working. How do you know that's it exactly? Could Google but sure why would I when Collie knows

Cheers

Had several belts lying around from when I ordered some for my Sony deck a few years ago. Ordered a bag of random ones from aliexpress. I'd have to look up the ebay seller from slovakia who sell sets for specific devices.

edit: that seller is no longer around.

[BennyHiFi]

Had several belts lying around from when I ordered some for my Sony deck a few years ago. Ordered a bag of random ones from aliexpress. I'd have to look up the ebay seller from slovakia who sell sets for specific devices.

edit: that seller is no longer around.

Cheers. Must Google then the one for my model (Memorex). Have a decent working Sony Walkman with radio as well which I. have jacked into the hifi in my office.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

good lord

[Raoul Duke III]

Probably not divulging any massive spoilers when I say the final act of The President at the Gate would be akin to Comrade Collie's deepest fantasies.

[Solksjaer!]

One of the curb gang dead. Richard Lewis.

[Raoul Duke III]

I see one antiquated US politician stepped down yesterday but unfortunately it was Mitch McConnell.

Hoping Biden takes the hint and follows suit.

[Raoul Duke III]

Last day for the IPB Cheltenham Tipping Comp limerick competition.

1. Write doggerel
2. Win Golden Ticket
3. Luckbox Comp
4. profit!

[Dice75]

Watching Crimecall all these years
Awaiting a poker player to impress his peers
Then on Monday's show just gone
On Seapoint platform out came his dong
And now there'll be no sex for years

[Solksjaer!]

Nice to see “Banty” doing well out of the state sanctioned human trafficking.

there will be some scandal in a few years when all the stories are out about some of the greediest worst cunts in the country making out like bandits while pretending they are humanitarians.

sweet deal for hoteliers at least though- shut your doors- get paid way more than you would have year round- let staff go - let the refugees sort their own shit out

A tagline Limerick.

Will you ever fk off with that Shite ,
said Pokerhand one stormy night,
Will you give it a rest , Mystery Guest,
You’re the worst poster on this site.

[Raoul Duke III]

Both good but disqualified for lack of horseracing theme

[DeadParrot]

From public parks he was barred,
for conquest of an unwilling mallard.
Now with a leg, mostly metal,
he found a mare in fine fettle.
said the frog, "Mon amour, a plus tard"

[Raoul Duke III]

Leading contenders as follows:

The Limerick 5 furlongs Began,
Frontrunner Laz, a greyhound or a man ?
He checked his behind,

Courier Cock he did find
I’ll come 1^st now or I’ll get a whip ban.

Our Conor was hard to defeat
Backed by the horsehead elite
Some say they're snobs
Most claim they're knobs
All agree though that they're effete!

There once was a horse called Raoul Duke,
Whose wins were regarded a fluke.
He came to fruition,
on the last day of the competition,
and made Carlin Rose want to puke.

There once was a foal born quite grand
but hated everything and everyone in the land
both the dame and sire neighed
"we should be castrated & spayed!!"
For this guest was a mystery, unplanned.

There once was an auld lad called Duke
Who's win was purely a fluke
But this is Degag's year
To win loads for beer
And make the champion puke

They all lined up keenly for battle
each swearing that Duke they would rattle
But Raoul held no fear
For to him, it was clear
They’d all be slaughtered like cattle

A former IPBer not into this horse racing Comp
Decided hotel poker was more his pomp
Not long after being busted
Two brassers to hurt him he entrusted
And up his ass the hot hair straightener did stomp

There was a young horse called our Conor
who unfortunately now is a goner
with every year passes
we still raise our glasses
And remember him with this comp in his honour

Our hero, while longing for l'amour
Hired a brasser at the price of a score
She rode him all night
On his chest, curled a shite
14 wombats, he rated, the hoar

When loot at the races, won Hitch,
He felt that familiar itch,
”I’m not really fussy.
but fond of black pussy”,
Fille noire, his loot did enrich

There was an oul punter called Hitch
Who felt a degenerate itch
He went were the course is
Looking for horses
But ended up backing a bitch

[Solksjaer!]

I've paid my loots into the Cheltenham comp already. So i can be eliminated on the 1st count

.

[Raoul Duke III]

I've paid my loots into the Cheltenham comp already. So i can be eliminated on the 1st count

.

oh, you were eliminated long ago.

[Denny Crane]

Packing up my books and coming to the conclusion a) I've far too many b) Raoul was getting the best of it when he gave me his poker books.

[Solksjaer!]

oh, you were eliminated long ago.

Formulating next Raoul related Limerick. Can't think of anything to Rhyme with Month.


Ignore - I've got it.

[MysteryGuest]

Enjoying the Irish Times meltdown over the shit atmosphere in Aviva for Irish rugby games

ive given my thoughts - don’t expect to see them in print though - don’t like it up them the rugby lads- they really do struggle with anything that’s not garbled corporate newspeak or shit/inappropriate war analogies.

Have your say: Do you think the atmosphere at Ireland’s Six Nations matches in the Aviva has been ‘flat’?

https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/rugby/2024/02/28/have-your-say-do-you-think-the-atmosphere-at-irelands-six-nations-matches-in-the-aviva-has-been-flat/

[Raoul Duke III]

Packing up my books and coming to the conclusion a) I've far too many b) Raoul was getting the best of it when he gave me his poker books.

I'd read some of the narratives again - Big Deal or the Al Alvarez book, but yeah probably correct. And I don't want them!

[balfejohn]

good lord

I’d say their only picking the best pieces of this story

[Opr]

I’d say their only picking the best pieces of this story

[Solksjaer!]

I heard he was caught as the arse fell out of one of the bags .

[dobby]

Thinking the rugby fans here must have been to Biarritz, RD3 maybe?

Looking at it for a couple of days after irish open - 3rd, 4th, 5th April. Decent spot for a short break?

Any better recommendations if its shite? Cheap, cheerful, quickish flight from Dublin.

[Raoul Duke III]

Thinking the rugby fans here must have been to Biarritz, RD3 maybe?

Looking at it for a couple of days after irish open - 3rd, 4th, 5th April. Decent spot for a short break?

Any better recommendations if its shite? Cheap, cheerful, quickish flight from Dublin.

Great part of France - pays Basque - can't go wrong imo.

But correct play is to fly in/out of there and stay in San Sebastian/Donostia instead. Less than an hour away on the bus.

[Raoul Duke III]

Last chance saloon for limericks...

[Strewelpeter]

Travel show on RTE called High Road Low Road is an excellent concept.

[Opr]

This is like something from Harry Potter. You can take a still image of something and give it a script and the model will bring it to life.

Loads of examples on the release papers page - EMO (humanaigc.github.io)

Even singing!

[ComradeCollie]

Seems odd that the Joe Rogan podcast is back on Youtube. Would love to see the Spotify numbers.

[Theresa]

Seems odd that the Joe Rogan podcast is back on Youtube. Would love to see the Spotify numbers.

Ah, the right's Malcom Gladwell.

I think people are cottoning on to Joes brand of psuedo intellectual bs. I've a few buddies who'd have been die harders are sort of swaying.

[MysteryGuest]

Ah, the right's Malcom Gladwell.

I think people are cottoning on to Joes brand of psuedo intellectual bs. I've a few buddies who'd have been die harders are sort of swaying.

They’re only figuring it out now?

huberman might knock a few more years out off them so

[zuutroy]

Its baffles me that such a dimwit who is also an awful interviewer and prefers to speak himself over listening to his guest has had any success whatsoever. There have been 3/4 people he has had on that I tried to listen to because I am interested in what they have to say, and I turned off after half an hour every time.

[Silver-Tiger]

Do we get a day off if Miggeldy croaks?

[limpwhacker]

There was an auld knacker called whacker
Unlike Collie he's not a fudge packer
When it comes to his willy
He's fond of a filly
And I hope RD thinks it's a cracker

[Degag]

Travel show on RTE called High Road Low Road is an excellent concept.

It’s fairly evident RTE aren’t paying for it i’d say!

[Strewelpeter]

Ah, the right's Malcom Gladwell.
.

I've seen some terrible and justifiable slurs made about Gladwell but that's a step too far

[Solksjaer!]

The bitter Limerick.

A bright light shone down,
This time I will win the crown,
Each year im 1st out of the stalls,
in the lead , then late race falls.
The fkin lucky pinsticking jammy clowns

[Raoul Duke III]

That wasn't forecast at all, was it?

Just spent 45 mins driving kids about 1.5km in driving snow.

[Goodluck2me]

I heard he was caught as the arse fell out of one of the bags .

Totally lost the head after that.

[Raoul Duke III]

Totally lost the head after that.

The neck of your man.

[DeadParrot]

That wasn't forecast at all, was it?

Just spent 45 mins driving kids about 1.5km in driving snow.

We got school alert closing till 10 while we were on the way

[Raoul Duke III]

The IPB Cheltenham Tipping Comp Limerick Adjudication sub-committayyyyyyyy has spent the entire night furiously cogitating.

The entries were reviewed in full and the standard was deemed to be mediocre at best. But one entry did stand out from the manure as not being totally without artistic merit.

Aaaaaannnnnnnndddddd



the



winnnnnarrrrrrrrr



is

SPOILER

dinekes, for this little beauty.

Our Conor was hard to defeat
Backed by the Horsehead Elite
Some say they're snobs
Most claim they're knobs
All agree though that they're effete!

The judges loved the conflation of Elite and effete, and the inclusion of IPB hero Our Conor was what swung it.

Congratulations sir, you are the proud possessor of the Golden Ticket. Join us on 12-Mar for the usual wild ride and best of luck in the comp.

[DeadParrot]

That wasn't forecast at all, was it?

Just spent 45 mins driving kids about 1.5km in driving snow.

School cancelled for our one, had to come home twice

[zuutroy]

That wasn't forecast at all, was it?

Just spent 45 mins driving kids about 1.5km in driving snow.

Young lad sent on foot. Confirmation in the older one's School so she's at home practicing pagan rituals.

[Raoul Duke III]

School cancelled for our one, had to come home twice

Delighted whatsapps from mine, waster teachers like dobby clearly taking any excuse to shut up shop early so they are all going to St Annes for snowball fights

[Degag]

Delighted whatsapps from mine, waster teachers like dobby clearly taking any excuse to shut up shop early so they are all going to St Annes for snowball fights

Or the Bonnington for poker

[Dice75]

Or the Bonnington for poker

Was half thnking of that later but not a chance I'm tackling the M50 today now - currently punting LIV golf on Youtube as not moving today, might even fire up a few hyper turbos

[Solksjaer!]

At what stage do we start stashing the bread.

Was this forecasted ?

[Raoul Duke III]

At what stage do we start stashing the bread.

Was this forecasted ?

meh, raining now so will all be gone by this evening