Bad Beat/Moaning/Venting - pray for Lazare

[DeadParrot]

Contrary to their appearance, drop bears and Koalas aren't related.
In fact Koala's aren't even bears.

This public service announcement was brought to you by the letter K

that's what someone who was in league with the drop bears would say

[DeadParrot]

The mere fact that one has the possibility and freedom to do something, even the most terrifying of possibilities, triggers immense feelings of dread. Kierkegaard called this our "dizziness of freedom."

this is also strongly aligned to how I feel when I've drank too much and the night before is a mystery.
the possibilities are only limited to the depths of my imagination

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Mellor]

Australians are mad for Nutella. It's everywhere these days.
Nutella donuts, milkshakes, gelato, etc


Here you go Hitch

https://www.instagram.com/p/56GX3DEGQr/

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Mellor]

something something fibers already broken down something something more sugars something something?

I've heard the fibre one before. But the it's still there, being all roughage.

that's what someone who was in league with the drop bears would say

Drop bears are misunderstood. Poor bastards.
Koala's are like a kangaroo in bear outfit, who woke up drunk and out his pouch on backwards.

[shrapnel]

from what I've seen of French eating habits that seems akin in popularity to trying to ban baguettes and smelly cheese

well it was more for environmental reasons than health reason, but yeah, fuck that!! imagine if a crepe au nutella was not an option anymore!!

[Tar.Aldarion]

Making it in the office, so frozen fruit isn't an option unfortunately. Yep healthy eating with energy to get through the morning.

Put in cocoa powder instead of nutella. Put in peanut butter instead of peanuts.

[dobby]

well it was more for environmental reasons than health reason, but yeah, fuck that!! imagine if a crepe au nutella was not an option anymore!!

Crepe au nutella et fraise shirley

[shrapnel]

Crepe au nutella et fraise shirley

gtfo with your fruit in the nutella!!

[Mellor]

Crepe Suzette,
ou, au coco-noix et rhum

[Lord Sir Banter]

Eating all the time is a pain. I'll pass on cold scrambled eggs tbf.

[Lazare]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

[Lurker23]

A bit of advice on the morning smoothie - is it decent, something missing, something that should be got rid of?


Have been making:

Needs moar protein and veg.

Mix in a scoop or two of protein powder. Swap the nutella for Meridian peanut butter. Throw in some spinach as well. Wave goodbye to the fruit cocktail. Possibly add a bit of flax seed as well. Use water rather than milk if you're really worried about healthiness.

[shrapnel]

Needs moar protein and veg.

Mix in a scoop or two of protein powder. Swap the nutella for Meridian peanut butter. Throw in some spinach as well. Wave goodbye to the fruit cocktail. Possibly add a bit of flax seed as well. Use water rather than milk if you're really worried about healthiness.

Surely that tastes like shit!

[KK82]

Needs moar protein and veg.

Mix in a scoop or two of protein powder. Swap the nutella for Meridian peanut butter. Throw in some spinach as well. Wave goodbye to the fruit cocktail. Possibly add a bit of flax seed as well. Use water rather than milk if you're really worried about healthiness.

Basically take out anything that tastes nice?

[dobby]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

McDonalds

[dobby]

gtfo with your fruit in the nutella!!

Tis savage stuff altogether

[Lurker23]

Surely that tastes like shit!

Tastes like peanut butter. You can't taste the spinach at all but I will admit I don't really care about the taste. Adding a banana makes it taste "smoother".

I usually have something like that at about 6am. Very easy to do and I can down it within 20 seconds on my way out the door.

[DeadParrot]

fun times in mountainview at the moment...

[Tar.Aldarion]

Needs moar protein and veg.

Mix in a scoop or two of protein powder. Swap the nutella for Meridian peanut butter. Throw in some spinach as well. Wave goodbye to the fruit cocktail. Possibly add a bit of flax seed as well. Use water rather than milk if you're really worried about healthiness.

My breakfast smoothie is similar: meridian peanut butter, hemp protein (lots of sweet nutrients in hemp), banana, cocoa, soy milk, agave syrup. Tastes class and full until 2/3pm.

[DeadParrot]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

There was a time at the Old Westside gym where I couldn’t gain weight to save my fucking life.

There was this dude who trained there who could just put on weight like fucking magic. He’d go from 198 to 308 and then to 275 and back down to 198. And he was never fat. It was amazing.

I finally asked him one day how he did it.

“You mean I never told you the secret to gaining weight? Come outside and I’ll fill you in.”

Now remember, we’re at Westside Barbell. And this guy wants to go outside to talk so no one else can hear. Think about that for a minute. What the hell is he going to tell me? This must be some serious shit if we have to go outside, I thought.

So we get outside and he starts talking.

“For breakfast you need to eat four of those breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds. I don’t care which ones you get, but make sure to get four. Order four hash browns, too. Now grab two packs of mayonnaise and put them on the hash browns and then slip them into the sandwiches. Squish that shit down and eat. That’s your breakfast.”

At this point I’m thinking this guy is nuts. But he’s completely serious.

“For lunch you’re gonna eat Chinese food. Now I don’t want you eating that crappy stuff. You wanna get the stuff with MSG. None of that non-MSG bullshit. I don’t care what you eat but you have to sit down and eat for at least 45 minutes straight. You can’t let go of the fork. Eat until your eyes swell up and become slits and you start to look like the woman behind the counter.”

“For dinner you’re gonna order an extra-large pizza with everything on it. Literally everything. If you don’t like sardines, don’t put ’em on, but anything else that you like you have to load it on there. After you pay the delivery guy, I want you to take the pie to your coffee table, open that fucker up, and grab a bottle of oil. It can be olive oil, canola oil, whatever. Anything but motor oil. And I want you to pour that shit over the pie until half of the bottle is gone. Just soak the shit out of it.”

“Now before you lay into it, I want you to sit on your couch and just stare at that fucker. I want you to understand that that pizza right there is keeping you from your goals.”

This guy is in a zen-like state when he’s talking about this.

“Now you’re on the clock,” he continues. “After 20 minutes your brain is going to tell you you’re full. Don’t listen to that shit. You have to try and eat as much of the pizza as you can before that 20-minute mark. Double up pieces if you have to. I’m telling you now, you’re going to get three or four pieces in and you’re gonna want to quit. You fucking can’t quit. You have to sit on that couch until every piece is done.

And if you can’t finish it, don’t you ever come back to me and tell me you can’t gain weight. ’Cause I’m gonna tell you that you don’t give a fuck about getting bigger and you don’t care how much you lift!”

Did I do it? Hell yeah. Started the next day and did it for two months. Went from 260 pounds to 297 pounds. And I didn’t get much fatter. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, though.

[Lurker23]

Basically take out anything that tastes nice?

Ha. That's one way to look at it alright!

One of the biggest flaws I've seen in morning smoothies or breakfasts in general is nowhere near enough protein so a scoop or two of protein powder in a smoothie would make a big difference on its own.

Edit: Ha DP! I remember quoting that on here a couple of years ago.

[Charlie Sheen]

Isn't almond milk just cloudy sugar water?
A few Almonds > Glass of Almond milk

[oleras]

Seeing food as a fuel source saddens me, me being a fat fuck.

[oleras]

Ha. That's one way to look at it alright!

One of the biggest flaws I've seen in morning smoothies or breakfasts in general is nowhere near enough protein so a scoop or two of protein powder in a smoothie would make a big difference on its own.

Edit: Ha DP! I remember quoting that on here a couple of years ago.

I thought i was doing something good last year after buying a smoothie maker, that was till someone pointed out all i was doing was basically having 2 breakfasts....seemingly, one or the other is the correct way to do it.

[careca]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

AFB, myself and a few others think the best thing you can do is GFYL

[bohsman]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

Eat bigger meals. Snack on nuts and cheese. Drink lots of milk.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Guest]

Oh snap. Lost about 6kg over July due to not eating. Skeleton thin stuff 62kg for about 6 foot tall. I guess - and not being smart here - the key is to eat more calories e.g. 3k rather than 2.5k per day

And move less, good luck.

[hotspur]

Need bbv's collective wisdom to come up with an eating plan that will help me put on a stone or slightly more. Lost too much weight recently and need to put it back on.

Work your magic guys.

1. Become a woman
2. Go on a diet

...runs for the hills.

[MrsFlushdraw]

My eldest who had a BMI of 11 was told to eat

Pancakes, lots of butter, custard, the creamier the better. Thinks like that,

She is now a low/healthy BMI despite living here where it is tough to gain weight!

[Strewelpeter]

[Tar.Aldarion]

I do find things like weight watchers are a sure fire way to put on weight. I'm fecking vegan and can't imagine wanting advice on eating more to gain weight. Quite a foreign concept. Do you not eat to feel better like a normal unhealthy person? I've put on 15kg since being hit by the car out of you know, eating and not exercising. My advice is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Off home now to eat a deep fried pad thai sushi burrito that's being delivered. I can hold seminars on weight gain if you want Lazare.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Lord Sir Banter]

Don't negate pints laz, lots of pints.

[Lazare]

Don't negate pints laz, lots of pints.

Have that nailed.

[Lazare]

Oh snap. Lost about 6kg over July due to not eating. Skeleton thin stuff 62kg for about 6 foot tall. I guess - and not being smart here - the key is to eat more calories e.g. 3k rather than 2.5k per day

I'm pretty much the same, 60.4kg, 5'10.

So many people commenting on it too which is bugging the shit out of me.

[Denny Crane]

You forgot the

He's really moving on BF, 3.75 from 5.5ish recently. For full disclosure I've exited some of my position. Expecting to regret that once they debate

[Denny Crane]

Two acts from the village I grew up in are playing at EP at the weekend. Both worth a listen

This girl is just phoenomeal live with her full band

https://soundcloud.com/farahelle/silk-by-farah-elle

These guy are more jaunty:

https://soundcloud.com/grandbandlads/listen

[CHDad]

Found a trad session in a mini Irish bar that sits about 30 punters in the middle of nowhere south of spain, we really are everywhere. There's Spanish lads playing trad music drinking Guinness.

[Lurker23]

I'm pretty much the same, 60.4kg, 5'10.

So many people commenting on it too which is bugging the shit out of me.

Did I read something about you taking up running lately? May be totally wrong but if you did, you may not be taking in enough calories to cover the extra amount your burning through the additional exercise.

What does an average day's food intake look like? Plenty of online calculators which will allow you to calculate your base cals needed to maintain weight based on your size and activity levels. If you're unsure download myfitnesspal on your phone and track your intake for a week or two. Eat approx 500 cals or so above your base rate and you'll gain weight. That's just an extra small meal a day. Adjust the excess cals if you're gaining weight too fast or too slow. Find out what would constitute an extra 500 cals through using myfitnesspal during your tracking week.

[Strewelpeter]

He's really moving on BF, 3.75 from 5.5ish recently. For full disclosure I've exited some of my position. Expecting to regret that once they debate

The Mexico trip was bizarre, hes made a not very powerful enemy there.

[shrapnel]

The Mexico trip was bizarre, hes made a not very powerful enemy there.

It's a very weird one because the Mexican president is getting lambasted from all sides for even meeting with him. Pretty sure there was some kind of under the radar deal struck there.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Lazare]

Did I read something about you taking up running lately? May be totally wrong but if you did, you may not be taking in enough calories to cover the extra amount your burning through the additional exercise.

What does an average day's food intake look like? Plenty of online calculators which will allow you to calculate your base cals needed to maintain weight based on your size and activity levels. If you're unsure download myfitnesspal on your phone and track your intake for a week or two. Eat approx 500 cals or so above your base rate and you'll gain weight. That's just an extra small meal a day. Adjust the excess cals if you're gaining weight too fast or too slow. Find out what would constitute an extra 500 cals through using myfitnesspal during your tracking week.

Cheers man, great advice, thank you all. Yeah, I started running in Jan, that coupled with stress has caused it, although the running helped a whole lot with the head.

I'll download that app now. A customer of mine recommended high protein yoghurt so I bought a pack, gonna eat a few a day in between meals for a start.

Benny recommended a pint of milk after every run but I really hate the taste of it, must try get over that.

[Theresa]

It's a very weird one because the Mexican president is getting lambasted from all sides for even meeting with him. Pretty sure there was some kind of under the radar deal struck there.

Under the radar? Probably the most publicised meeting of any two people in forever!

[Strewelpeter]

An ideological certification test

Anyone who think this guy is harmless is a moron.

[Strewelpeter]

Started reading that Leif GW Person guy RDIII recommended ... Some fairly class misanthropy going on there

[DeadParrot]

Don't negate pints laz, lots of pints.

Have that nailed.

This is the goal laz. I believe in you and am available for consultation

[Lazare]

Let's do this. I wanna be a pintman.

[Lao Lao]

I've eaten in Forest Avenue before so was excited when they opened a second project, Forest and Marcy just around the corner.

Have been meaning to go for a while but haven't gotten around to it yet.

Just called them to book a table for Mrs Lao's b-day.

Conversation goes something like this

Me : Hello, I'm looking to book a tabke for two
Host : Oh, we don't do reservations, it's walk in only
Me : Oh, right, what are Fridays like in general? What time should I get there
Host : Tomorrow?
No : No, Sept 16th
Host : Oh, you can book the week on when you want to eat
Me : Oh, that sounds go...
Host : Only for our 5:30/6pm sitting though
Me : Oh, that wouldn't work. I presume if we walk in, you'll take our number if full, we can for a drink and you'll call us
Host : Yeah sure, but you can't come in when we're not full to book for later. You can only come in when we're full to book for later that night
Me : Eh, ok...

She totally came across as a right cunt. Part of me wants to tell her to get fooked, part of me really wants to eat there

#1stworldproblems

[Lazare]

Myfitnesspal seems a great app, cheers Lurker.

[Lazare]

I've eaten in Forest Avenue before so was excited when they opened a second project, Forest and Marcy just around the corner.

Have been meaning to go for a while but haven't gotten around to it yet.

Just called them to book a table for Mrs Lao's b-day.

Conversation goes something like this

Me : Hello, I'm looking to book a tabke for two
Host : Oh, we don't do reservations, it's walk in only
Me : Oh, right, what are Fridays like in general? What time should I get there
Host : Tomorrow?
No : No, Sept 16th
Host : Oh, you can book the week on when you want to eat
Me : Oh, that sounds go...
Host : Only for our 5:30/6pm sitting though
Me : Oh, that wouldn't work. I presume if we walk in, you'll take our number if full, we can for a drink and you'll call us
Host : Yeah sure, but you can't come in when we're not full to book for later. You can only come in when we're full to book for later that night
Me : Eh, ok...

She totally came across as a right cunt. Part of me wants to tell her to get fooked, part of me really wants to eat there

#1stworldproblems

I definitely would not eat there after that phonecall.

I'd tell them to stick it up their bollix.

[Strewelpeter]

FFS! Coppinger is an embarrassment to humanity... LOL what a plonker

[Lazare]

I'd interupt her mid sentence and say 'look look, look, sorry, tell ye what........stick it up your bollix' then hang up.

[Strewelpeter]

This is the goal laz. I believe in you and am available for consultation

Had a conversation with a country publican recently

'How's business?'

'Terrible, they are all dying off, our last ten pinter died last week, only two eight pinters and a couple of oul wans keeping the fucking doors open'

[Lazare]

Had a conversation with a country publican recently

'How's business?'

'Terrible, they are all dying off, our last ten pinter died last week, only two eight pinters and a couple of oul wans keeping the fucking doors open'

Pub life is the grimmest. Remember one afternoon working behind the bar and two hardliners are sitting at the bar. One is telling the other about how his doctor told him he must give up the drink.

His comrade says to him with not a hint of a joke 'Don't mind that fucker, those cunce only say that to keep you alive and get more money out of ye'

[Lazare]

Another time, late one Sat night this oul lad who regularly polished off 15 or 20 large bottles of Guinness and ended the night asleep on the bar woke up and mustered up the strength to call one of his pals and ask him would he fancy going on a session the following morning. Then went back asleep.