Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - Wordle Gummidge

[nicnicnic]

The rank hypocrisy of the Shiners bleating about anything Leo does being a PR stunt especially when he volunteers in doing a few hours work to help in the crisis, while they are bullying the Wheelie Bins into forego their pay and running a synchronised virtue signalling PR campaign to publicise.
Pay peanuts and you get Wheelie Bins

Think this was my favorite, could have rhymed a bit better though.

[CHDad]

I can't stop laughing at Nonagon

[dinekes]

lol, wp

There once was a lad called Lazare
Whose interpretation of brief was bizzare
Short became long
Long was not wrong
Hector might win (in a car!)

[Guest]

After I finish this can, and the next can, I'll only have four cans left. Tough gig this lockdown stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc6HFlgyrtg

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Guest]

Has anyone played virtual trainer on At The Races?

Any use?

Just received an email about it

Looks like a bit of a money pit

[SatNav]

Someone do a poem yoke on me without cats, or alcohol now there's a challenge

[Apache]

New testing figures were released at yesterday's briefing. As of midnight on the 6th there were 42484 test completed. The mantra from the HSE, even on Monday, was that we were "top tier" in terms of testing. Taking Worldometers figures for tests per million and filtering for countries that have undertaken at least 20000 tests puts us in 23rd place in the world. Ourworldindata would have us in tenth place but they have numbers for far fewer countries.

On a more positive note 12271 of the 42484 tests took place in the past seven days so hopefully we can climb through the rankings, although many countries now seem to realise that mass-testing will be needed if lockdowns are to be lifted.

[Theresa]

Someone do a poem yoke on me without cats, or alcohol now there's a challenge

It will help you dear.
None for me or my kind, thanks.
The needle sheathed.

[CHDad]

Someone do a poem yoke on me without cats, or alcohol now there's a challenge

There is a mad woman named Michelle
There's not a TV package she can't sell
Her pitch is fantastic
Face full of plastic
Is she smiling or frowning? Can't tell.

[gorrrr72]

There once was a girl called Michelle
Driving is her idea of hell
She got lost in town
With her navi upside down
The IPB scorn will never quell

[Mellor]

Someone do a poem yoke on me without cats, or alcohol now there's a challenge

There once was a girl called Michelle,
The Sky TV box she did sell,
Don't call her a hussy,
Nor mention the pussy,
Else she'll come and send ye to hell

[ComradeCollie]

Special levels of mental divergence going on here

[Raoul Duke III]

There was an Aussie bogan called Mellor
Who kept an aviary in his wine cellar
With bloodcurdling howls
He buggered young owls
That perverted Sydneyside dweller

[Raoul Duke III]

There was a motorbike jockey called Collie
Who liked to whip his knob with holly
He was sent to a shrink
To see what he'd think
He said that man is quite off his trolley

[pgodkin]

see that #ginWank*rs out in force last night

[Solksjaer!]

I see Prine died after all .

[dinekes]

Someone do a poem yoke on me without cats, or alcohol now there's a challenge

There once was a job in the RSPCA
Her Skyness applied sans delay
They were mad about gavigan
Just one question she had of them
What's the "P" stand for, by the way?

[eoghan104]

one for RDIII maybe.......

Quiz last night and the question was who was UK Prime Minister when the UK entered WW2?

I said Chamberlain and quizmaster says Churchill. Who is correct?

[Raoul Duke III]

one for RDIII maybe.......

Quiz last night and the question was who was UK Prime Minister when the UK entered WW2?

I said Chamberlain and quizmaster says Churchill. Who is correct?

You were correct, Winston only came in as PM in early 1940 when he emerged as the only viable wartime leader they had

[Raoul Duke III]

There was a Spanish crooner called Gorr
Who maintained a stable of hoors
Their prices were low
To administer a blow
So the punters always came back for more

[Raoul Duke III]

An crooked Biffo horse trader called GAB
Had his gaff raided one day by the CAB
What was the crime?
For which he did time
He'd home-butchered horsemeat from Kepak

[Raoul Duke III]

A young Kerry weirdo called dobby
Had a very unspeakable hobby
He was a sex pest
Who'd ask female guests
For a ride in the Shelbourne lobby

[Raoul Duke III]

Hitting my stride now I feel. This must be how Picasso felt in his Blue period.

[V for Vendetta]

Hitting my stride now I feel. This must be how Picasso felt in his Blue period.

Its a pity you got the gardening finished so quickly.



PS Dom it looks like that apostrophe issue is still happening.

[Raoul Duke III]

There was a globetrotting fella called Horatio
An admirable man in all ratios
Except when out drinking
His morals were sinking
And he tried to give a horse fellatio

[TheJiggaman]

There was a woman named Michelle
In Movie King she made the pick from hell
In her very, very first draft pick
We thought she was clearly taking the mick
Yes, she went with Butterfly Effect
That choice was clearly quite suspect
Needless to say, she did not win
Because her first choice was an awful sin

[Lazare]

There was a globetrotting fella called Horatio
An admirable man in all ratios
Except when out drinking
His morals were sinking
And he tried to give a horse fellatio

On a HHE night?

[Raoul Duke III]

On a HHE night?

What goes on in HHE stays in HHE. Let's just say the judge was very lenient.

[Raoul Duke III]

There was an IPB legend called rounders
Widely acknowledged a cad and a bounder
His most vilest feat
Was to make Tar eat
Eighteen Burger King quarter-pounders

[Guest]

We'll need a game of Poetry King soon.

Anonymous theme based poetry, a more prestigious crown than Music King could ever hope to be.

[Strewelpeter]

StrewelPeter was a friendly old codger,
Not young, more like coffin-dodger,
Despite his late years,
He loves to pin back the ears,
With his legs working better than his todger.

Ouch!

[Strewelpeter]

Latest sheep worth a look just for Strewels answers
Nonagon

Get into the MK thread and vote ya gazebo

On second thoughts don't there is no chance you'd get it right

[Solksjaer!]

A Dodgy bloke name of Glynn,

Got married to mask his Proddy sin,

But try as he might,

To keep it from sight,

Not sure if he is out or he is in

[Solksjaer!]

Had to remove apostrophes . Ruined the flow :-(

[Solksjaer!]

Your quarantine alcoholic name is your 1st name followed by your 2nd name .

[Raoul Duke III]

There was an IPB denizen named NoRiver
Required.Whose heart was set all a-quiver
When he dropped cigarette butts
On top of his nuts
The burns really caused him to shiver

[Hectorjelly]

300 Musicians recorded some music together, it really is quite an achievement; it turned out fantastically. Skip to 9.45 to just hear the music and not how it was made.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=197&v=enFB33SOo6k&feature=emb_logo

[Guest]

FFS



Any chance he faces a reckoning for his idiocy when he recovers (the handshaking boasts, he was utterly cavalier and reckless ) prob got a plasma infusion

Was saving this

https://youtu.be/j23DVqzEKbk

[6starpool]

I don't see a problem with apostrophes that is consistent. I know people are saying it is causing a problem, but in loads of posts it isn't. If anyone who is having problems can PM me the following I'll be able to see if there is a common symptom.

Desktop/mobile/tablet
Operating system (windows/Mac/Android/ios, etc)
Browser (Chrome, firefox, opera, IE, etc)
Whether you have been able to use apostrophes at all? Is the problem consistent or intermittent?

Thanks

[6starpool]

I have an idea what the problem is and how to fix it, but want more data first, thanks.

[Goodluck2me]

I don't see a problem with apostrophes that is consistent. I know people are saying it is causing a problem, but in loads of posts it isn't. If anyone who is having problems can PM me the following I'll be able to see if there is a common symptom.

Desktop/mobile/tablet
Operating system (windows/Mac/Android/ios, etc)
Browser (Chrome, firefox, opera, IE, etc)
Whether you have been able to use apostrophes at all? Is the problem consistent or intermittent?

Thanks

iPad for me on safari, cuts off everything after the apostrophe. Will try now, so don

[Goodluck2me]

I clicked preview post and it was fine but everything after dont cut off

[Mellor]

I was on edge last night I think.
Not iphone as I though first.

[Raoul Duke III]

For a wager, a fella named V
Nailed his nutsack to a tree
He won all the loot
But learned a hard truth
Now his balls have gone all rusty

[dobby]

A young Kerry weirdo called dobby
Had a very unspeakable hobby
He was a sex pest
Who'd ask female guests
For a ride in the Shelbourne lobby

Ffs. Who told you about that. They said they'd keep it quiet

[Raoul Duke III]

Ffs. Who told you about that. They said they'd keep it quiet

Your picture is up behind the bar

[Solksjaer!]

FFS



Any chance he faces a reckoning for his idiocy when he recovers (the handshaking boasts, he was utterly cavalier and reckless ) prob got a plasma infusion

Was saving this
https://youtu.be/j23DVqzEKbk

I got a pic of the Stars headline . Most impressed

GO out yer back and Tan .

[Wesley Harms]

The was a young banker, El Stuntman
Who lorded over all like a great man
Well soon he will be fifty
And realise he has been too thrifty
And head to the emporium to drop a few nifty

[Guest]

Some bang of entitlement Off Robbie Keane, take the golden handshake and piss off
In fairness it’s mostly delaneys fault but we don’t need to be paying Keane 200K a year for putting out cones

[6starpool]

iPad for me on safari, cuts off everything after the apostrophe. Will try now, so don

Try something again now please.

[Goodluck2me]

Be careful, don’t try this at home

[Goodluck2me]

Try something again now please.

Working

[6starpool]

Working

If anyone spots this again or anything like it, please let me know by PM preferably to make sure I don't miss it.

Ta.

[ComradeCollie]

Long shot, but any of you have a spare belt for a Sony cassette deck TC-KE200? #mayhavebittenoffmorethanicanchew

[Dice75]

Some bang of entitlement Off Robbie Keane, take the golden handshake and piss off
In fairness it’s mostly delaneys fault but we don’t need to be paying Keane 200K a year for putting out cones

Havent followed this but they knew McCarthy was going so had they nothing in place for Keane one way or other?

[poprock]

In fairness it’s mostly delaneys fault but we don’t need to be paying Keane 200K a year for putting out cones

Thats pretty harsh, it has always been his dream to line out cones

[Dice75]

Short golf punting read.....

https://www.gambling.com/news/the-hole-in-one-gang-how-golf-bettors-beat-the-bookies-2232000

[poprock]

CONE DREAMS by Robbie Keane


Freckle face boy from the city
Bring order to this street
Briskly walking with a plod every ten
It brings order to the game, order to the train
At night he can’t sleep and he dreams about it
And when he dreams, he can’t sleep and he screams about it
Shut up bitch I am trying to talk

[Guest]

Havent followed this but they knew McCarthy was going so had they nothing in place for Keane one way or other?

They gave him a 4 year contract when McCarthy only had 2, Kenny (quite rightly) doesn’t want him. Another Delaney masterclass