Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - Mammy told me not to come.

[RichieM]

I think you are missing the utterly fake 'we're all in this together' mood she has been selling.
It's being lapped up by the idiots and it's a message that is impossible for the sane to dispute without coming off all surrender monkeyish.
This will be to all intents and purposes a war election.

Yes indeed. The British Empire, Britannia rules the waves and lets show Gerry whats what mentality is still incredible strong in the English. (Scotland disagrees, NI is undecided and nobody cares what Wales thinks)

It is very much the English version of make america great again except there is a weird psychosis in the north of England that basically the docks of Liverpool will be building frigates to keep the tea routes to india safe from french privateers. That does sound extreme and in reality is not what is being said but the mentality is there.

Just look at the reactions to Gibraltar last week. Really bizarre stuff

[Guest]

Crushed it. People laughed. They didnt mind me checking my notes. I got a round of applause for one joke. Was funnier than the guy before me which is basically as good as it could go. Maybe not as funny as the guy after me but people laughed and thats all that matters. Heart was going 90 after. Thanks to Hotspur for coming along and getting me a calmer pint after. And many thanks to Rigger for writing half my routine.

Go on the Andy set full of stories about SQL server issues?

I mentioned this intro to programming (python) course before:

https://www.coursera.org/learn/learn-to-program/

I'd highly recommend it, it's really well designed for anyone wanting to become familiar with programming. Have been waking up at 6am to get in some of the lessons, its that good / i'm that sad.

The course is only a beginning, but can then easily build on it to add more complex techniques. My pal, whos also a finance prof, was saying he now has a team of machine learning geeks working for him in the IFSC, and the potential is astronomical. I'm seeing major dollar signs here!

Paid version or free?

If paid how much?

Looking to get away from pubs at last, my whole customer service ()/computer background might be an avenue.

Brother in law was at me a few years ago about a possible gap where this guy is suddenly needed in offices

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNuu9CpdjIo

Although, last time I worked in an office I was this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8afqoDL3Qsk

Looks a superb political move by May. Force a showdown at the ballot box with a clueless and ill-disciplined Labour.

If Corbyn was Blair, or even Brown, no way would she dare pull this move.

It's a good old fashioned coup!

This shit always happens around the time i've to sign a new lease

Where should I live next?

[Strewelpeter]

More free money after the Brits rejecting Brexit and Hillary winning the US election?

Link?

yeah, indeed, third time lucky and this time I'd be betting against sense and reason prevailing

https://www.betfair.com/exchange/plus/politics/market/1.119040708

There is a next PM market as well

https://www.betfair.com/exchange/plus/politics/market/1.131081434

[CHDad]

yeah, indeed, third time lucky and this time I'd be betting against sense and reason prevailing

https://www.betfair.com/exchange/plus/politics/market/1.119040708

There is a next PM market as well
https://www.betfair.com/exchange/plu...et/1.131081434

Following the sheep is where the money is now m8.

[Strewelpeter]

Wow!
The first woman to run in the Boston Marathon 50 years ago who entered incognito and had to beat off race officials who tried to pull her off the course during the race ran it again last Monday aged 70 and finish less than 25 minutes behind the 4:20 she ran in 1967

[Strewelpeter]

parentheses required

[Raoul Duke III]

Fancy your chances in the next sp?

I have a 100% record of sneaking out of the kids enclosure to punt and racewatch so far. Picking actual winners has so far proved elusive.

[Strewelpeter]

Fancy your chances in the next sp?

I have a 100% record of sneaking out of the kids enclosure to punt and racewatch so far. Picking actual winners has so far proved elusive.

Sorry I missed that

[Raoul Duke III]

Sorry I missed that

Backed it anyway for small loots. Very gutsy.

It'll pay for ice creams, burgers, cokes and more tissues for young lads who don't quite get the +EV of Daddy's e\w shot triumphing over their €1 place bet.

Is Nathy around?

[Strewelpeter]

TBH I would have only recommended a Tote place.

Great result for them, nice pot.

No he's off trekking in India, lucky bastard.

[Solksjaer!]

Who in their right mind wouldn't call an election where the health of the country is secondary to the health of the party

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[RichieM]

Who in their right mind wouldn't call an election where the health of the country is secondary to the health of the party

Since May was very anti brexit she may be secretly hoping to loose. Even if she looses power she still has to live in the country and nobody really wants to go down in history as someone who is responsible for something so monumentally stupid.

More likely than not it is to ensure that power is retained after the whole fuck up comes to be. In someways having a longer period of stability in the country post economic decimation is better than uncertainty around how it will go.

Either way the people of the north of England should be shitting it, Torries tend not to be very gentle in recession times when it comes to the working class.They might look at Thatcher as a soft touch in comparison if the city starts to loose profitability and the coffers drain.

[Charlie Sheen]

If you go for a private screening and the results show that you need treatment is there any issue going back to the public system? I know it'll be a long wait for treatment but I'm curious as my mother (medical card holder so no insurance) has been told she needs to get an Angiogram but there's at least an 18 month wait for that so I'd rather go private to get the Angiogram and find out if any treatment is required as quick as possible.

[Solksjaer!]

Since May was very anti brexit she may be secretly hoping to loose. Even if she looses power she still has to live in the country and nobody really wants to go down in history as someone who is responsible for something so monumentally stupid.

More likely than not it is to ensure that power is retained after the whole fuck up comes to be. In someways having a longer period of stability in the country post economic decimation is better than uncertainty around how it will go.

Either way the people of the north of England should be shitting it, Torries tend not to be very gentle in recession times when it comes to the working class.They might look at Thatcher as a soft touch in comparison if the city starts to loose profitability and the coffers drain.

We sure live in interesting times. Dumbed down on one hand and genius advancement on the other. I'm no grammar nazi but it's lose (I know I know but just in case ya didn't notice:-) )

[careca]

If you go for a private screening and the results show that you need treatment is there any issue going back to the public system? I know it'll be a long wait for treatment but I'm curious as my mother (medical card holder so no insurance) has been told she needs to get an Angiogram but there's at least an 18 month wait for that so I'd rather go private to get the Angiogram and find out if any treatment is required as quick as possible.

Go public and get her in the system. Whatever you do when waiting is entirely up to yourself.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Raoul Duke III]

Since May was very anti brexit she may be secretly hoping to loose. Even if she looses power she still has to live in the country and nobody really wants to go down in history as someone who is responsible for something so monumentally stupid.

More likely than not it is to ensure that power is retained after the whole fuck up comes to be. In someways having a longer period of stability in the country post economic decimation is better than uncertainty around how it will go.

Either way the people of the north of England should be shitting it, Torries tend not to be very gentle in recession times when it comes to the working class.They might look at Thatcher as a soft touch in comparison if the city starts to loose profitability and the coffers drain.

She wasn't 'very anti Brexit' at all. She quite successfully managed not to take any position! Hence why she is now PM.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Raoul Duke III]

The amount of bullshit things politicians talk about, when it's an 18 month wait for a potentially really important simple medical test. That's an absolute disgrace.

It's clearly more important that we divert all available funds to 'restoring' PS pay to Bertie peak levels, or jacking up cash payments to those who don't work.

Or so our political system seems to think anyway.

[DeadParrot]

Go on the Andy set full of stories about SQL server issues?

you know how SQL server folk be like

Select top 10 columns
from table ...

and oracle guys be like

Select colums from table
WHERE ROWNUM <= 10;

[Keane]

It's clearly more important that we divert all available funds to 'restoring' PS pay to Bertie peak levels, or jacking up cash payments to those who don't work.

Or so our political system seems to think anyway.

Giving hospitals to nuns has jumped the queue I think.

[oleras]

If you go for a private screening and the results show that you need treatment is there any issue going back to the public system? I know it'll be a long wait for treatment but I'm curious as my mother (medical card holder so no insurance) has been told she needs to get an Angiogram but there's at least an 18 month wait for that so I'd rather go private to get the Angiogram and find out if any treatment is required as quick as possible.

Get her to present herself at A&E with tightness in her chest and shortness of breath, repeatedly. I have heard that Wed evening is the quietest times.

[Dice75]

Stick on the Madrid match there TV3

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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[Raoul Duke III]

Giving hospitals to nuns has jumped the queue I think.

Had to Google that.

Like something out of an (unfunny) episode of Father Ted.

[Guest]

Anyone got any good Spanish wine recommendations,gonna load up before I leave in a few days
Gonna miss eating unreal unpretentious food,guess it's back to getting overcharged for reading the autobiography of every pice of food on my slate/miniature bucket

[Guest]

Disappointed Andy hasn't given us a taste of his act
Massive gap in the market for a non ridiculously smug lefty comic.

[oleras]

Had to do that recently. Don't know what was wrong, but best guess was something to do with a painkiller on top of a chest infection. But all they did was ecg, x-ray, and that Troponin blood test. Would they throw in an angiogram on top of that since the Troponin test is fairly foolproof? (I bow to your expertise on the matter!)

Anecdotally they would have to do further tests eventually. The Angio would be the gold standard.

Numbness down your arms, doesnt mean you have had a cardiac event, but could be on the way.

[AndyFatBastard]

Disappointed Andy hasn't given us a taste of his act
Massive gap in the market for a non ridiculously smug lefty comic.

Wasn't recorded unfortunately. Jokes were basic af and I'm practically a smug centrist at this point.

[Raoul Duke III]

Wasn't recorded unfortunately. Jokes were basic af and I'm practically a smug centrist at this point.

Tell us your funniest joke.

[AndyFatBastard]

Tell us your funniest joke.

Posted it here before.

I woke up this morning tangled up in the bedsheets, lying on the exposed matress. My wife asks me how I always manage to do that, I said "That's just how I roll".

[Guest]

Wow!
The first woman to run in the Boston Marathon 50 years ago who entered incognito and had to beat off race officials who tried to pull her off the course during the race ran it again last Monday aged 70 and finish less than 25 minutes behind the 4:20 she ran in 1967

LOVE THIS!

[Solksjaer!]

2 Seasons on the trot the PL champions fail to qualify for Europe the next year . ?? That right stato? First time ?

[Guest]

Election announced alright, June 8th.

I don't like or support the Tory party but she will probably get back in. That's if UKIP don't get some of her vote.

I would be for labour but I don't respect Corbyn..nice man...not a great politician. I guess I would still vote red though.

[DeadParrot]

Tell us your funniest joke.

Hey I'm Andy, and yes, I know I look like Fr Eoin McLove after eating the last guy that was up here.
After years of people mistaking me for a comedian, I thought it was about time I learned to tell a few jokes.
So here we go, sure if all else fails, I'll can get gigs that the actual eoin mclove wouldn't touch with a barge pole.


that's pretty poor stuff, andy was undoubtedly better than that

[Guest]

Wasn't recorded unfortunately. Jokes were basic af and I'm practically a smug centrist at this point.

So is he...you should go into politics!

[DeadParrot]

Shocking call by the ref in the madrid game

https://my.mixtape.moe/zgdqvz.mp4

[Guest]

Service in Canada, while totally OTT is way better than Dublin. Out for dinner in Banff tonight and Mrs Lao's main came out cold so we sent it back. All the apologies with lines like 'We really want to get this right for you as it's a delicious main.' Bill then came and there is a 40% discount off the total bill (including alcohol) which was way more than the cost of the main. We checked with the waiter to make sure it wasn't a mistake but no, main was cold, therefore you get a massive discount.

Tomorrow morning is my first time skiing.

#PrayforLaoLao

My friend is in Prince Rupert. He and I were quite close. I was missing him so I sent him a ring and some drawings. We chat online so it makes a diff to have a hand written letter. I registered it etc. But it took an age to get there. And it was slightly damaged. He got an official apology from the post office. I have NEVER heard of anyone here being apologized to by An post. He says everyone there is very polite.

[Guest]

Shocking call by the ref in the madrid game

https://my.mixtape.moe/zgdqvz.mp4

And another.they've ruined it.

[Lord Sir Banter]

Go on big Ron.

[Theresa]

A lot of people in Alberta sound like they are straight off the set of Fargo. Have been quite a few times where I have struggled to keep a straight face when they are talking to me. Myself and Mrs Lao Lao have also started a 'Hey Margie, Hey Norm' conversation skit which so far nobody has kopped.

Service in Canada, while totally OTT is way better than Dublin. Out for dinner in Banff tonight and Mrs Lao's main came out cold so we sent it back. All the apologies with lines like 'We really want to get this right for you as it's a delicious main.' Bill then came and there is a 40% discount off the total bill (including alcohol) which was way more than the cost of the main. We checked with the waiter to make sure it wasn't a mistake but no, main was cold, therefore you get a massive discount.

Tomorrow morning is my first time skiing.

#PrayforLaoLao

Service is so much better than Ireland.

Gimme a shout for a pint if you are in Calgary!

[Guest]

And another.they've ruined it.

I am trying to keep my hand in my foot ball knowledge for when i get a boyfriend so i can impress him...and pretend to be interested in his stuff....so i clicked...bad linky

[Lord Sir Banter]

So here we go, sure if all else fails, I'll can get gigs that the actual eoin mclove wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

No such gigs exist.

[DeadParrot]

twice offside.
perfect

[Guest]

No such gigs exist.

Love father Ted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlfcdtGSUZA

[Guest]

Eoin Mc Love actually does support a lot of worthwhile charities though. And he is funny!

He won me over with this...

https://www.youtube.com/user/MyLovelyHorseRescue/videos?flow=grid&view=0&sort=da

I am a soft heart...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7fS6SYcuNE

[dobby]

He never does it in big games - RD3

[Guest]

Resisting the urge to spam with fr ted clips!

[Strewelpeter]

Couple of BBC radio links

@Denny
Trump at Studio 54
This confirms more or less what both of us think of Trump

@ Andy
you should deffo look at entering this new comedy award there are decent prizes including getting a script produced

[oleras]

There seem to be so many Fr Ted episodes i haven't seen.

I need to sort this.

[Guest]

Couple of BBC radio links

@Denny
Trump at Studio 54
This confirms more or less what both of us think of Trump

@ Andy
you should deffo look at entering this new comedy award there are decent prizes including getting a script produced

Well found strew!
Go for it Andy..!

And what I learnt from that clip about Trump and that club is ..it's the music that makes a club.

And that Trump is a dick...but I knew that.

[Guest]

There seem to be so many Fr Ted episodes i haven't seen.

I need to sort this.

They are even funnier now ..then they there were back then.

[ComradeCollie]

Still enjoying Pie in short bursts, though don't bother buying his live show. Just doesn't work when extended to an hour or so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZnl56hLacg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTDWd9-zqzc

[Blip]

Just a heads up and as an aside to the whole UK shenanigans, we had to get our son's passport renewed, brought all the signed docs to the post office for the "fast track" process and was told by postmaster that it's taken up to 3 months for return of passport �� Apparently there's an influx of Brits waving the granny rule looking for dual citizenship and the passport office is out the door.

[Lao Lao]

Service is so much better than Ireland.

Gimme a shout for a pint if you are in Calgary!

Balls, won't get time to stop in Calgary. We're heading to Lake Louise tomorrow and then back to Edmonton Thursday morning as herself's sister has a lot lined up for us including her nieces Irish dancing Feis. If we miss that, we will be removed from the family forever.

Would have been good craic to meet up for a few beers!

On the Feis, I was speaking to the couple who organise it (They also run an Irish dancing school) They are lovely people and are all about Irish dancing and they have told me that sitting a full day through the Feis will probably be the most painful thing I ever do. I suggested I should bring a lot of vodka with me and they agreed 😦🙁 It could be a very long day.

[Lao Lao]

In other news

Skiing 1
Lao Lao 0

Not sure I'm cut out for the skiing lark

I don't think I've ever been so happy as I was when i got to take off the ski boots

Maybe I was doing it wrong but it seems an awful lot of effort / pain for little reward 😀

[Guest]

Hello my beautiful darlings.

Would the earth survive if the sun exploded? And eh would you be able to move your stuff in time?

You get a heads up ..cuz I actually just like yis..

Also if I don't make it....remember me...

[TheDrunkenOne]

Took that guy from Newcastle out fishing. He hadn't a clue but 'landed' 3 trout. Found out he is some computer boss, drives a 335? BMW and married with young kid. He asked how much petrol I use in day and explained it depended on wave/throttle etc but likely today about £7. Good value he agreed (didn't factor in I let him have use of 2 rods and reels as well as £500 worth of lures etc to choose from) Anyhow he gave me Fuck all and somehow I invited him to my house on Friday evening where I am cooking him steak and his wife salmon. Beginning to think next time I bring someone out fishing I should hand them a tub of vaseline at start and explain it's for ass fucking me.