I thought I would try and write about this, because I am in the most prolonged manic episode of my life.
Fuck off, if you were truly depressed you would not be posting on a forum or even able to get out of bed say the unfortunate afflicted, and to that I say fair fucks. GratutiousfuckgoingtogratuteIMO
Depression is different for everyone. I can only describe what happens to me as such.
Have you ever been love sick or infatuated, that feeling of constant irritation, boredom, listless, sadness, destroydestroydestroy unless said thunderbolt enters the frame. Its that, except without the uplifting message or the outpouring of tears and sadness to get over it. Its a life of destroying shit. Its literally a pain in my gut, in my eyes that doesn't lift. Its wanting to destroy yourself to ground zero because that way there are only two ways to go.
Except it constant. Days feel like weeks to me. Seconds like fucking hours. Finding a way to fill them is hard. Eventually alcohol stops having an effect because thats how life be. Always a fucking tease. Tablets are the same difference.
So what are you left with, people, chaos, drama, the emotional fix. Its not deliberate but you are aware of being sincerely odious.I dont know if its a conscious choice or not but every atom of your energy pulsates with it. There are fleeting moments of euphoria where the perfect concoction allows you to be charming and anything or anyone in the whole world can happen. Mitty shit. You forget you have black bags on every mirror in the place because you are so fucking repulsive.
Then the fucking scary shit happens. All the rhetoric becomes a way of Ill show you in their fucking face. Except you cant because either way you are a fucking coward.
Then its the next day and its the exact same feeling or worse. Or not. There in lies the rub. Heard that in a film, sounded cool, written it sounds like something a fucking prick would say.
Probably no interest/consolation/or motivation to you at all Sam but ..
The missus rang me in tears yesterday after visiting a friend of ours in a Hospice. He suffered from depression all his life , some of his family attributed it to him being gay and struggling with it but no he embraced who he was in that regard
He and his other half lit up our wedding in 2010 in Helsinki with their broad smiles and zealous social bee personalities. I often said to the missus that ‘P’* was the epitome of contentedness.
Little did I know of his struggles with depression , even less did I understand it. He had tried many times to take his own life but his worry about how others might take it kept him alive for them but dead inside for himself.
I was stunned to hear of this. If you met him you’ve be bowled over by his friendliness and his apparent joy???
This year we found out he had a tumor in his Brain that was terminal. He is refusing further treatment for quality of life and will die very soon. It’s tragic and I know it’s a cliché when someone is dying to say but he actually is an amazingly wonderful guy
I furtively asked him about his illness (the depression) . How did you cope.***** His answer was. I didn’t cope did I?* I survived.** I convinced myself that the moments of where I could tolerate myself, I could then tolerate others.
I threw myself into my work to keep my mind busy and prepared myself for the depths of despair by holding on to the possibility it would not last as long as the previous time. ***The times when I felt human was when I was entertaining others and giving to others. His only thoughts now are for other people and it gives him peace to think that way.
The only conclusion/lesson I get from this very sad life of his was that ‘to give’* gives you purpose and meaning for others when you can’t find it for yourself.
Hope you experience some longer periods of remission but maybe perhaps against the tried and mental weariness of your current condition you could consider helping others in some form or other.
Any suggestions for what one should do with a rainy day fund that has been heretofore sitting in a current account? Presume the answer is give it to Denny for the spin-up.
Any suggestions for what one should do with a rainy day fund that has been heretofore sitting in a current account? Presume the answer is give it to Denny for the spin-up.
...Heading here in November, and I am already looking forward to it...They do a 30oz rib eye, holy mother I can't wait...Just opened today, wonder what the HHE will think of it...
Great info, thanks. Was wondering if paying down the mortgage was the best bet but given I never have a job for more than a year I always steered away from it because once its gone its gone.
I'll prob do that when I know whether I'm employed beyond June. Wine would literally be the worst thing I could invest in. I have about 30 'decent' bottles which I intend to let sit for a while and it takes all my will power not to crack one open every Sunday.
Actually when I was away this year I bought a bottle from 1973. It was only €30 and the guy gave me a wobbly-hand gesture, suggesting it could be horrible, but still a cool thing to have. This is the oldest wine I've ever drank and it was class.
Echo what SP said Sam, like others I don't really know what to say other than to say you're one the good ones, talented with words and wit, sound as they come and real fun to be around, the few times we've shared space.
I have heard some stories of people taking to running to deal with the darkness. A close friend of mine took it up and it's helped him a lot.
I hold silver in tit for tat, and I love you for that
Actually when I was away this year I bought a bottle from 1973. It was only €30 and the guy gave me a wobbly-hand gesture, suggesting it could be horrible, but still a cool thing to have. This is the oldest wine I've ever drank and it was class.
Had a 1974 bottle of Vouvray last year. It was nothing too memorable.
I have sampled some very old ports down the years. They seem to age more evenly than wine.
"We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."
Anybody happen to catch Mr.Mercedes. a new show that started on rte. Brendan Gleeson in it. Just watched it and it was a fantastic first eposode
I was saying about it the other day that its kind of shite, poorly written and allowing the plot to circle the drain as well being too graphic and unsubtle but Gleeson is absolutely killing it and however bad it is its well worth sticking with for a moment that I'd say is an ad lib by Gleeson in episode 5.
Its amazing how many really bad Stephen King adaptations there are, his kind of violence is just too graphic and his characters and situations do not translate to screen easily. Basically you need to be Kubrick to do him right.
Anybody happen to catch Mr.Mercedes. a new show that started on rte. Brendan Gleeson in it. Just watched it and it was a fantastic first eposode
Yes great show, been mentioned here quite a few times. Definitely worth the watch dose get better in my opinion. Catch it online if you want to get up to date.
Any suggestions for what one should do with a rainy day fund that has been heretofore sitting in a current account? Presume the answer is give it to Denny for the spin-up.
Any ideas of what's the 'read between the lines' issue behind the Mark Sampson sacking?
From what i read over the past couple of days, there were accusations against him when he ran the Bristol Academy of 16-19 year olds, and also coached the women's team at the same time. He was meant to have been 'inappropriate' against a number of women, so whether that means he slept with them, or just attempted it, i don't know.
The racism thing is where he allegedly told Aluko to make sure her Nigerian family don't bring Ebola to Wembley, and had some similar remarks to her and another mixed race player. There's probably more to it than what i've read though.
^^^^ Have a hankering for watching some poker, where do you watch your vods mr flushdraw?
Was watching some on twitch last night and got a bit of a hankering to see more, especially as I was playing at the same time, lost a buy in so moved up levels. The nostalgia.
Hankering three times in one post, this is a record.
@Hitch and Zuutroy not sure if anyone else is in academia.
Thoughts on the value of the preliminary modules that they run for a couple of weeks.
I had mathematics, economics, accounting and data analysis.
I probably attended 70% and they were delivered in that order.
Perhaps there was a wavering interest but they seemed less and less helpful. The maths was good and the economics was ok too.
The accounting was very general i.e revenue vs profit which as Denny suggests puts you ahead of the curve anyway.
I was thinking maybe there is a better use of time than what they do with the 2 weeks. I'm assuming the idea is as much to get students to socialise especially given 70% I'm guessing is international
See mytaxi introduced a 2 euro booking fee now for all rides (not just when you book in advance), surely people will just flag taxis down now for the majority of cases and not use their app?
See mytaxi introduced a 2 euro booking fee now for all rides (not just when you book in advance), surely people will just flag taxis down now for the majority of cases and not use their app?
Pretty convenient name change from hailo.
I got one last night and it was still the same price as normal for some reason?
I think "Uber" in Ireland is just another app to call Irish taxis so its not actually Uber.
Uber in London and the US will have a prearranged fee which you agree to when you call it, Uber in Ireland will not prearrange the fee, it just calls a normal taxi and goes on the meter.
Pretty sure its due to the regulations here, wish they would just work around it as it's so handy.
When i got it before I was upgraded to some really expensive car that had free drinks in it, as there were no other ubers available. But I too thought it had to be regular taxis here. Must be the same as whatever hailo+ and all that was
Also plenty of unhappy Londoners:
Uber kicked out of London
The global cab service Uber will be kicked out of London following the decision by Mayor Sadiq Khan and his administration rejecting an application to renew the firm’s operating license which is to expire soon.
The announcement to kick out Uber was announced in London Friday.
It is believed that Uber ran foul of the terms of operation by setting up a technology which allowed it to evade scrutiny by the authorities in London.
About 3.5 million passengers use Uber in London where it has over 40,000 drivers.
Analysts believe that the decision not to renew Uber’s license will greatly benefit the traditional London black cabs with considerable political influence in the British capital.
Uber plans to appeal the decision and will be allowed to continue to operate until the appeal is fully determined.
Regular user of Uber Eats in Auckland. The fee was quite high for delivery but half the office would order together. It had a lot of cafes and restaurants that didn't usually deliver.
There normal Uber worked out around 60-70% cheaper than your normal taxi too.
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