Bad Beat/Moaning/Venting - pray for Lazare

[Denny Crane]

Love the way we've adopted the American way of asking everyone for I.D (not in pubs mind you, just shops.)

'Ah yea ye need to have I.D with your date of birth, like your passport.'


Oh right, that document I use once in a blue moon to get into most any country in the world, that is a pain in the hole to replace (ask me m8 sp) and costs 150 quid. Yea I don't tend to carry that 24/7 incase I want to buy two beers to alleviate the woes of travelling on the 46a with people's obnoxious cunt kids.

Social services card, student card, debit card, credit card, leap card with picture.

I'm clearly legally and technically an adult. I have a clubcard ffs andhttp://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/liverpool-fc-allen-disappointed-klopp-10317541 I'm buying toilet roll at 5pm on a Friday.
If not, I'm the worst fucking teenager in the world you geebags.

Tldr: have vodka at home.

The new giv ID card is due out soon. Not sure it's worth 30 quid to be allowed buy booze in Lidl (only place that ever asked me) in peace though.

[shano1888]

I went into tesco to buy ice cream the summer before last when the weather was class. Basically all of the ice cream was gone. I picked up a multi pack of mojito solareos that were on offer thinking nothing of it. Went up to the self service and the approval needed alarm went off. I assumed it was some kind of error but Mrs B Bint from bintsville informed me that ID was required as the ice creams had .03% alcohol in them. I laughed and informed her that I did not have ID because you don't need identification to buy ice cream especially not when you are 28. She was unrelenting so I took out my phone and asked her could we go through the whole thing again. She wasnt too impressed by this and we parted on bad terms.

[shrapnel]

anyone seen this? DP?

looks just sooo bad, it could actually be good

[darwinatemyhamster]

I'd fucking love to be asked for ID.

[Theresa]

I'd fucking love to be asked for ID.

Move to Canada. Pain in the arse.

Need ID to have breakfast and watch the sport in a pub on a Sunday morning. Ridiculous.

[DeadParrot]

anyone seen this? DP?

looks just sooo bad, it could actually be good

It's on my radar but I'm lacking certain supplies to ensure I enjoy this in optimal frame of mind.

On an unrelated point. I'd mill a rake of pints.
Bringing the Mrs along for 'iron'

[Guest]

Re the wine deliveries. Do they notify you when they're going to deliver? IE could I spin down from work to accept delivery?

[shrapnel]

It's on my radar but I'm lacking certain supplies to ensure I enjoy this in optimal frame of mind.

On an unrelated point. I'd mill a rake of pints.
Bringing the Mrs along for 'iron'

cool. let me know how you get on!!

[davepoke/her]

Move to Canada. Pain in the arse.

Need ID to have breakfast and watch the sport in a pub on a Sunday morning. Ridiculous.

So no kids in the pub? That sounds like a fair trade off.

[Theresa]

So no kids in the pub? That sounds like a fair trade off.

Reasonable but when 6 people, clearly over the age of 25 come in and one hasn't got their id you shouldn't refuse to serve the bunch - or the id-less on tbf. A bit of cop on, sadly lacking in many many canadians.

[Lord Sir Banter]

The new giv ID card is due out soon. Not sure it's worth 30 quid to be allowed buy booze in Lidl (only place that ever asked me) in peace though.

They ask me everywhere. In Tesco I usually take the alcohol to the self service check, it beeps and they have to approve it. But if they want to cancel it, they have to find a superior, so it forces their hand.

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[Lazare]

I remember trolling a shop girl years ago buying cigarettes. She asked me was I 18 and I said no. Stood there for a few mins arguing with her saying I didn't need to be 18 to buy cigarettes, before telling her I was 19.

[Lord Sir Banter]

The new giv ID card is due out soon. Not sure it's worth 30 cans to be allowed buy booze in Lidl (only place that ever asked me) in peace though.

Fyp

[Guest]

Yea Hitch that's a well known nickname for it.

[shrapnel]

What's this wine place? There's a scamola of sorts to avoid the tax? Have a fairly classy white wine for this evening. It's a dude that only sells a small selection of bio wines. He selects mainly based on soil minerals at the moment. Would only let me buy this particular bottle when he whacked two stones together and had me inhale the dust to get a sense of the wine's terroir. I was trying to tell him that my social awkwardness means there's no chance I'll inhale that dust and not go 'oh that's amazing, I'll have the bottle', so we may as well cut through the charade.

reminds me of an excellent joke my father used to love: ( allo allo accents to be used at every opportunity for maximum effect)

there's a little restaurant on the border of two wine estates. One makes a classic vintage and the one on the other side makes a decent bottle of wine. Anyway, the grandfather and "doyen" of the vintage place comes for lunch all the time in this particular restaurant, and is of course always served the classic vintage.

One day, the restaurant owner realises that he has run out of the good stuff, and thinks, "sacrebleu, i will serve ze other wine. ze vineyard is only across the street, how will he ever know ze difference?"

In comes the old man, sits at his favorite table, orders his favorite dishes, and his favorite vintage. He is brought all this, tries the wine and screams blue murder: "how dare you serve me zis rubbish?"

the owner of the restaurant sheepishly apologises and asks "but how is it zat your wine is so different to ze other, ze vineyards are exactly in ze same place and only separated by zis street?"

The old man looks at him and says: "mon ami, only 2 centimeters separate ze anus and ze vagina, but le bouquet, la difference!!!!!"

[darwinatemyhamster]

Just went to do an enhanced football treble on PP. Max bet €0.04, trolling cunce.

[pokerhand]

Move to Canada. Pain in the arse.

Need ID to have breakfast and watch the sport in a pub on a Sunday morning. Ridiculous.

Obv same in LA... Not really that much of a pain when have credit card style driver licence. Can be iritating otherwise.

[pokerhand]

RDIII, Trump is not going away is he?

[horatio1]

@Dice, what part of Germany are you bringing it in from and what transport are you using. Pm if you don't want to name on here.

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[Raoul Duke III]

RDIII, Trump is not going away is he?

He will. It's pretty much impossible for him to win the nomination.

Great entertainment though. Looks like he's taken Jeb out at this stage.

[Dice75]

@Dice, what part of Germany are you bringing it in from and what transport are you using. Pm if you don't want to name on here.

Dusseldorf / Monchengladbach - I don't organise/pay for the transport so no choice in the matter.

[ionapaul]

Re the wine deliveries. Do they notify you when they're going to deliver? IE could I spin down from work to accept delivery?

Didn't get notified, so will have to pick it up in the depot tomorrow hopefully. Think you can organise another delivery instead if you don't want to drive to depot.

[Dice75]

Didn't get notified, so will have to pick it up in the depot tomorrow hopefully. Think you can organise another delivery instead if you don't want to drive to depot.

If its DPD, next time put your mobile on the order under your address line & they text you a 1 hour delivery slot time in advance.

[Strewelpeter]

When I go to the swimming pool sometimes I pay 4.50 other times 6.50
Then I realised that it was different people charged me different amounts.
This week a new girl asked me what I normally pay... I ask what are the rates?
'6.50 for adults and4.50 for our golden members... Ahem ..Are you over 65?'

And you thought rigger has problems. FML

[6starpool]

What's the link for that wine site again?

[Guest]

vinatis.com...Have 36 bottles in my basket but having trouble pulling the trigger for that much money in one go.

[Tar.Aldarion]

I went into tesco to buy ice cream the summer before last when the weather was class. Basically all of the ice cream was gone. I picked up a multi pack of mojito solareos that were on offer thinking nothing of it. Went up to the self service and the approval needed alarm went off. I assumed it was some kind of error but Mrs B Bint from bintsville informed me that ID was required as the ice creams had .03% alcohol in them. I laughed and informed her that I did not have ID because you don't need identification to buy ice cream especially not when you are 28. She was unrelenting so I took out my phone and asked her could we go through the whole thing again. She wasnt too impressed by this and we parted on bad terms.

We got refused trying to buy Jack Daniels BBQ sauce before. I would have OD'ed on it before becoming drunk.

vinatis.com...Have 36 bottles in my basket but having trouble pulling the trigger for that much money in one go.

Do it, join us amigo. Wine IPB party.

[Lazare]

My wife Judy has firmly decided with no course for appeal that we're watching Judge Judy.

Seriously.

Maybe I'll do ironing.

[hotspur]

My wife Judy has firmly decided with no course for appeal that we're watching Judge Judy.

Seriously.

Maybe I'll do ironing.

All things arise dependant upon conditions. What we are experiencing now is the result of prior conditions. We can choose now to set up conditions that will affect future outcomes.

With this wisdom in mind, do you see how "Maybe I'll do the ironing" is both a cause of your current predicament and a condition for future emasculating TV show decisions?

[Lord Sir Banter]

There's an American dude in work who goes back and forth to Ireland. The talk turned to the boom and he gave the Hilton in Darndale as example of the lunacy. Anyway he said he was being driven through Darndale on way to the airport recently and his (Irish) pal was saying that the huge Tesco there (you know the big bright one?) is known as the Darndale Opera House. Something about it being the only thing people get dressed up to visit, the look of the building itself. Is that true that it's nicknamed that?! Had a suspicion his pal was taking the piss with him.

If dressing up means your 'going out pyjamas', then yes.

[Lazare]

All things arise dependant upon conditions. What we are experiencing now is the result of prior conditions. We can choose now to set up conditions that will affect future outcomes.

With this wisdom in mind, do you see how "Maybe I'll do the ironing" is both a cause of your current predicament and a condition for future emasculating TV show decisions?

I'm not really ironing, was trying to highlight the irony with irony.

She's pregnant, I've to suck up the suffering.

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[pokerhand]

He will. It's pretty much impossible for him to win the nomination.

Great entertainment though. Looks like he's taken Jeb out at this stage.

I was thinking he was a no hoper, but the amount of airtime he gets in the States is unreal. We have tv's on every floor in work and it seems he is constantly on, the only other one I've seen get a lot of airtime is Clinton and that must be 50% of trump's time and mostly negative.

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[pokerhand]

Anything else missed over last two weeks or so? Like who 'great scott' is. Had to narrow down my life to just baby and work to keep life stress at a minimum this last while.

Doc Brown from Back to the Future

[SatNav]

any crack? off tomorrow, drink flowing down

[Lazare]

Wait what?!?! Missed that. That's excellent!!!

Cheers dude

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[Lazare]

I only copped tonight that the whole Back to the Future day stuff this week was because 10212015 was the date set in the Delorean.

Pretty sick tbh, I wish I could go back and celebrate it.

[Solskjaer]

Golden night on beeb4. Get some weed though

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[Lazare]

Golden night on beeb4. Get some weed though

Good shout. Jools isn't great, Duran Duran, meh. Although that little Simz was outstanding.

[oleras]

Cleanliness:

Would ye say (asking for a friend), that showering once a week, but washing armpits and manly bits daily is a grand cleanliness routine? It seems like slacking off a bit, but hard to see what body smell is being created on a daily basis in an office job in the mild temperatures of Autumn. Wondering here essentially if the mantra of daily showers has any real merit for cleanliness. Can't see it personally outside of the feel-good benefits.

Yeah, im gagging t the thought of that.

Tell your friend shower daily.

he cant see how daily all over body washes cant be of any merit to himself, his partner, his colleagues...dont make me say typical french...cos its so very french....and not right.

[oleras]

Good shout. Jools isn't great, Duran Duran, meh. Although that little Simz was outstanding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZagCklvj1E

[Guest]

Cleanliness:

Would ye say (asking for a friend), that showering once a week, but washing armpits and manly bits daily is a grand cleanliness routine? It seems like slacking off a bit, but hard to see what body smell is being created on a daily basis in an office job in the mild temperatures of Autumn. Wondering here essentially if the mantra of daily showers has any real merit for cleanliness. Can't see it personally outside of the feel-good benefits.

Well you are living in France so this level of hygiene probably qualifies you as a metrosexual

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Hitchhiker's Guide To...;931507]Cleanliness:

Would ye say (asking for a friend), that showering once a week, but washing armpits and manly bits daily is a grand cleanliness routine? It seems like slacking off a bit, but hard to see what body smell is being created on a daily basis in an office job in the mild temperatures of Autumn. Wondering here essentially if the mantra of daily showers has any real merit for cleanliness. Can't see it personally outside of the feel-good

How someone could only wash there feet once a week despite not sweating profusely
seems lazy and stinky.
Dont think a whores wash suffices here in this day and age.

[oleras]

laz IS the man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZPhsQA3vo8

[dobby]

Cleanliness:

Would ye say (asking for a friend), that showering once a week, but washing armpits and manly bits daily is a grand cleanliness routine? It seems like slacking off a bit, but hard to see what body smell is being created on a daily basis in an office job in the mild temperatures of Autumn. Wondering here essentially if the mantra of daily showers has any real merit for cleanliness. Can't see it personally outside of the feel-good benefits.

Yeah that's pretty sick tbh. Personally I shower twice a day, once in the morning and again when I'm home from work. Will obviously shower again any night I have training.

I know that could be a bit ott but AT LEAST once a day imo. Preferably in the morning so I don't have to smell you all day at work.

[Guest]

Reminds me of a strange night in my house 12 years ago.
We were having a going away barbecue for my house mate.
About fourty odd people were here and the eurovision was on.
So sitting room was choc full of women.
A girl lived with us and she was a bit odd she cycled home that night.
It soon became apparent she sat beside me she was stink.
Everyone was well on the piss and someone came into the room and declared whos eating cheese.
She left and i said its not cheese its Grainne a collective look of disgust came over everyone.
I spent the rest of the night outdoors.
Thankfully she moved out horrible stinky yoke.

[oleras]

Reminds me of a strange night in my house 12 years ago.
We were having a going away barbecue for my house mate.
About fourty odd people were here and the eurovision was on.
So sitting room was choc full of women.
A girl lived with us and she was a bit odd she cycled home that night.
It soon became apparent she sat beside me she was stink.
Everyone was well on the piss and someone came into the room and declared whos eating cheese.
She left and i said its not cheese its Grainne a collective look of disgust came over everyone.
I spent the rest of the night outdoors.
Thankfully she moved out horrible stinky yoke.

Feck all to do with the cycle that night dude.

She was what we call a dirty bitch.

[Guest]

Feck all to do with the cycle that night dude.

She was what we call a dirty bitch.

Ah ya just gave the full story.
Some poor young fella used be riding her hope he wore a balaclava or something.

[Lazare]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZagCklvj1E

Man, what a tune. I think I'm gonna go down to the gig next week and try blag a ticket outside. Be real tough.

They're playing pretty much a pub gig next Wed, imagine seeing that live in a small venue. Trying everything to get a ticket.

[Lazare]

laz IS the man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZPhsQA3vo8

Excellent, cheers man, exactly what I'm in the mood for.

[Lord Sir Banter]

all the cool kids are doing it

http://www.universitytimes.ie/2015/10/why-do-all-the-cool-kids-want-to-be-student-politicians/

[oleras]

Man, what a tune. I think I'm gonna go down to the gig next week and try blag a ticket outside. Be real tough.

They're playing pretty much a pub gig next Wed, imagine seeing that live in a small venue. Trying everything to get a ticket.

Beg borrow steal. im not big on the twitter/social media but i am sure if you have the right angle, its a gimme.

Im off to bed, full belly, had a great night out earlier, great food and finished it with good tunes.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

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