Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - BabyforV

[hotspur]

I very rarely say this, I also very rarely start a sentence with if/and or but. But that is worse value than buying me a pitcher.

When the direct opposite, which is the only alternative, is 1/66 you could think you might have lost an aul point or two in value.

[smoothcall]

Anybody handy at excel ? Pretty useless myself, be thankful if anyone can help.

It's actually a big sheet but essentially what I have is a list with Words in column 1 and numbers in column 2, I want to create lists for each 'word' with their corresponding number in new sheets without changing the original sheet. I was trying with the IF function but I end up with 'false' for all the cells where it doesn't contain the word I want. My friend says he could do up a macro for me but seems excessive and there should be an easy way to do it I cant see?

eg.
If I had this list,
Arsenal 1
Chelsea 2
United 3
Arsenal 4
Chelsea 5
Arsenal 6
United 7

I want

Arsenal 1
Arsenal 4
Arsenal 6

Chelsea 2
Chelsea 5

United 3
United 7

Thanks if anyone has any ideas

[mdoug]

Since we're doing this I'll let you into my head at one point during the match tonight. I was musing about talented Messi is with a football, and I wondered at how amazing he must be at cunnilingus. The things he can do with a football, just imagine what he could do with a clitoris.

Then, naturally, I had the thought he would be nothing compared to Ronaldo in this department. That prompted a debate between two parts of my mind. One side had it that Ronaldo is a Greek God, full of testosterone, and would give a lady the monster fuck of her young life. Fair enough said the other side, but we are talking about cunnilingus here. Messi is a team player.

Personally I think the matter should be settled empirically in a Pay Per View extravaganza.

hotspur, I find you a weird chap. You are one of the few people I have met that I would love to theoretically study over a few pints.
But, if you had to bet, who would you have your money on atm?

[mdoug]

When the direct opposite, which is the only alternative, is 1/66 you could think you might have lost an aul point or two in value.

If you gamble the difference on roulette you never lose value.

[mdoug]

Met 'RedJoker' tonight too whilst drinking. Miss that chap, good bants he was back in the day.

[davepoke/her]

The question is:
Which player has scored for SIX different teams in the champions league. I was truly stumped and went with Anelka which was wrong.

SPOILER

Saviola?

[thechamp87]

Relatively useless at Excel myself but if you don't need to display all teams at the same time a quick option would be to just filter Column 1 and select each team to display each individually? Or just sort alphabetically?

[Mellor]

Is the data going to ever change?
If not, you could simply sort the data based on column A. And expand the selection to the other cells (this will come up in a pop up when you try to sort A)
If the original needs to remain as is, then you can just make a copy.

The copy might not work if the data will change over time. If which case you could reference the cells into a second sheet, and sort that sheet.

[mdoug]

Anybody handy at excel ? Pretty useless myself, be thankful if anyone can help.

It's actually a big sheet but essentially what I have is a list with Words in column 1 and numbers in column 2, I want to create lists for each 'word' with their corresponding number in new sheets without changing the original sheet. I was trying with the IF function but I end up with 'false' for all the cells where it doesn't contain the word I want. My friend says he could do up a macro for me but seems excessive and there should be an easy way to do it I cant see?

eg.
If I had this list,
Arsenal 1
Chelsea 2
United 3
Arsenal 4
Chelsea 5
Arsenal 6
United 7

I want

Arsenal 1
Arsenal 4
Arsenal 6

Chelsea 2
Chelsea 5

United 3
United 7

Thanks if anyone has any ideas

Pretty sure you just have to sort this alphabetically here tbh. Top right there should be a symbol with AZ on it in some regard. Click the A column(or whatever Arsenal/Chelsea/United are in, click the Alphabet letter on the top). Click that and click sort alphabetically and when the option to expand comes up click Yes. That should sort it out, I think. If not post up again

edited for a bit more detail as even I wouldn't know what to do.

[mdoug]

SPOILER

Saviola?

nope

[Mellor]

Is the data going to ever change?
If not, you could simply sort the data based on column A. And expand the selection to the other cells (this will come up in a pop up when you try to sort A)
If the original needs to remain as is, then you can just make a copy.

The copy might not work if the data will change over time. If which case you could reference the cells into a second sheet, and sort that sheet.

Just tried the seconf option and it works fine.

Reference cells to a new sheet
Sort column A, expand selection.
Will appear as
Arsenal 1
Arsenal 4
Arsenal 6
...etc

If the numbers change, then they'll automatically update/

[Jam-Fly]

There has been 6 pages since I was last online. I am not going to read them but I got 9/10 in the champions league round and the one I got stumped on shall follow.

DO NOT BE A DICK! By that I mean, if you don't know the answer then google and find out and post it, people(megatron) might actually enjoy this question!! Don't pretend like you knew it.

The question is:
Which player has scored for SIX different teams in the champions league. I was truly stumped and went with Anelka which was wrong.

SPOILER

Surely Ibra has scored for Ajax, Juve, Barca, Inter, AC and PSG in the Champions League? He's also won something like 10 league titles in the last 11 years.

[Guest]

There has been 6 pages since I was last online. I am not going to read them but I got 9/10 in the champions league round and the one I got stumped on shall follow.

DO NOT BE A DICK! By that I mean, if you don't know the answer then google and find out and post it, people(megatron) might actually enjoy this question!! Don't pretend like you knew it.

The question is:
Which player has scored for SIX different teams in the champions league. I was truly stumped and went with Anelka which was wrong.

?

SPOILER

[mdoug]

Fuck ya'll for not being on my team. Honestly I knew he was on 3 of those teams

SPOILER

inter/ac/psg but my life is such a blur I had literally zero idea of juve and only a vague memory of barce/ajax

WP though both of ye fuckers!

[mdoug]

but fuck ye, I got 9/10 and my team only knew 2 of them. Still only got 5th but I have never got 10(3 others) answers solely by myself before. . My new tolerance is 2 pitchers and 2 pints. I am very drunk and going to sleep now.
Goodnight all.

[smoothcall]

Relatively useless at Excel myself but if you don't need to display all teams at the same time a quick option would be to just filter Column 1 and select each team to display each individually? Or just sort alphabetically?

Is the data going to ever change?
If not, you could simply sort the data based on column A. And expand the selection to the other cells (this will come up in a pop up when you try to sort A)
If the original needs to remain as is, then you can just make a copy.

The copy might not work if the data will change over time. If which case you could reference the cells into a second sheet, and sort that sheet.

Ye the data is updated weekly, Filtering and then copy and paste is how I've been doing it but its a waste of time and feel like it should be able to auto do it.

Same goes for sorting mdoug, ideally I want it to update automatically, unless i'm missing what you mean,

[mdoug]

Ye the data is updated weekly, Filtering and then copy and paste is how I've been doing it but its a waste of time and feel like it should be able to auto do it.

Same goes for sorting mdoug, ideally I want it to update automatically, unless i'm missing what you mean,

Ah yeah macro's can do them easy tbh, but have no idea how to do those. I was just giving the simple solution which takes 2 minutes max but not auto. Someone will be along tomorrow and be helpful .

[Jam-Fly]

Fuck ya'll for not being on my team. Honestly I knew he was on 3 of those teams

SPOILER

inter/ac/psg but my life is such a blur I had literally zero idea of juve and only a vague memory of barce/ajax

WP though both of ye fuckers!

SPOILER

The famous Ajax team of 2003. Chivu, Ibrahimovic, van der Vaart, van der Meyde and the great Steven Pienaar who destroyed Vieira playing in centre-midfield at Highbury.

[Mellor]

Morally in the right though as we don't have tv channels, and don't watch rte online. Do have a big ass tv though that we use to play pirated stuff. Apparently the act of owning a tv, even if it doesn't receive tv channels, makes you liable for funding Ryan Tubridy.

If you own a TV, then it probably receives the tv channels, the reception is just shite without an aerial plugged in.

As for electricity bills, the last 3 houses I've lived in I've signed up to electricity in one of my friends names (who in ireland). I pay the bills and all, just its just a handy buffer that I have up my sleeve in they act like dicks. In the past I've moved out and left the last bill when they were being wankers.

[smoothcall]

Just tried the seconf option and it works fine.

Reference cells to a new sheet
Sort column A, expand selection.
Will appear as
Arsenal 1
Arsenal 4
Arsenal 6
...etc

If the numbers change, then they'll automatically update/

pretty big sheet so it will be messy but will try this, thanks.

[Mellor]

If you reference in Cell A1, then drag the bottom right corner of the cell it will autocolplete the referencing. Just drag it as far as the lower right cell with data from sheet 1

[Denny Crane]

Ye the data is updated weekly, Filtering and then copy and paste is how I've been doing it but its a waste of time and feel like it should be able to auto do it.

Same goes for sorting mdoug, ideally I want it to update automatically, unless i'm missing what you mean,

Pivot table? Not sure the output is what you want but:

Click where you want to put the table
Click insert tab -> Pivot table
Highlight the main table of data -> OK
Drag your two headings (team first) down into the bottom left box that appears(Row Labels)
Click Design tab -> Grand Totals -> "Off for Columns and Rows"
Click the dropdown menu on your new table, and just select the team you want, and the list of numbers will appear

edit: maybe design tab -> report layout -> "show in ouline form" & "repeat all labels" is better.

[CHDad]

I very rarely say this, I also very rarely start a sentence with if/and or but. But that is worse value than buying me a pitcher.

Ibrahimovic obv

[smoothcall]

Pivot table? Not sure the output is what you want but:

Click where you want to put the table
Click insert tab -> Pivot table
Highlight the main table of data -> OK
Drag your two headings (team first) down into the bottom left box that appears(Row Labels)
Click Design tab -> Grand Totals -> "Off for Columns and Rows"
Click the dropdown menu on your new table, and just select the team you want, and the list of numbers will appear

edit: maybe design tab -> report layout -> "repeat all labels" is better.

Thanks for the help, I seem to be getting the sum of the numbers rather than a list, cant find where to change it.

[Denny Crane]

Thanks for the help, I seem to be getting the sum of the numbers rather than a list, cant find where to change it.

Click the table and make sure the two heading are in the "Row Labels" box.

Data -> refresh all, will update all the tables then when there's new data.

[mdoug]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISy0Hl0SBfg

[mdoug]

Anyone have any suggestions on how to do up me kitchens m8's?

[Hectorjelly]

You have to remain in the game in these ties and if you concede a first half goal, that's basically game over.

Thats a logical fallacy, the sort of nonsense pundits come out with that seems to make sense but is actually illogical.

[CHDad]

It's realistic. This isn't poker m8. Keep your dreaming on the felt.

If only there was an ICM calculator for football situations including away goals and tactics.

[Lord Sir Banter]

You have to score more goals than the other cunce

[mdoug]

You have to score more goals than the other cunce

Never once did you tell us that in any of our 6aside leagues ffs.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[shrapnel]

Going to bed now, so this will all stop.

..

There's two counterbalancing things about the French bureaucratic system. (edit: I see a few posts have passed, was intended to be in response to the 'wait till you get to France to see shit' post)

Firstly the oppressive level of bureaucracy. E.g. the official 'welcome to France' website advises that it would take the wife 6 months to have her application for a French driving licence processed based on her international driving licence (admittedly received through bribery, although she claims to be incidentally able to drive and that the only way to get a licence in Russia is through bribery). How does it take 6 months to process a simple application though? We had a news story recently outraged that the passport office was temporarily taking 15 days as opposed to 10 to issue passports.

Whilst I completely agree that French bureaucracy is a complete nightmare, I think in this case you have got the wrong end of the stick. Pretty sure that in France like in Ireland or the UK, you need to be a resident in the country for at least 6 months prior to being able to exchange your licence for the local one, so it's not 6 months of processing but 6 month of waiting before being eligible.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Jam-Fly]

Thats a logical fallacy, the sort of nonsense pundits come out with that seems to make sense but is actually illogical.

Hmmm, interesting point. To put it another way, Bayern's best chance of going through would be by winning 3-0 and getting the game into extra time. How is that best achieved? I think the answer is still related to going with tactics that are conducive to not conceding. Your tactics when you need to win 3-0 with 90 minutes remaining and your tactics when you need to win 3-0 with 10 minutes remaining can differ though.

I'd like to hear more on what you mean though, because it's not something that had occurred to me.

[Jam-Fly]

Hmmm, interesting point. To put it another way, Bayern's best chance of going through would be by winning 3-0 and getting the game into extra time. How is that best achieved? I think the answer is still related to going with tactics that are conducive to not conceding. Your tactics when you need to win 3-0 with 90 minutes remaining and your tactics when you need to win 3-0 with 10 minutes remaining can differ though.

I'd like to hear more on what you mean though, because it's not something that had occurred to me.

in case it's unclear btw, there's a difference between winning 3-0 and 4-1 due to the away goals rule

[Raoul Duke III]

Whilst I completely agree that French bureaucracy is a complete nightmare, I think in this case you have got the wrong end of the stick. Pretty sure that in France like in Ireland or the UK, you need to be a resident in the country for at least 6 months prior to being able to exchange your licence for the local one, so it's not 6 months of processing but 6 month of waiting before being eligible.

Presumably you just drive away on your old licence while waiting or are you theoretically barred from driving until they sort you out?

[careca]

@smoothcall

Not what you asked but Access is so much easier for this type of thing (or better again Minitab if you can get an illegal copy - very dear).

In access just create a link to your excel spreadsheet and run a query that is sorted by word then number. Everytime you run the query it will pick up any changes in your spreadsheet (once its linked and not imported). you can also then group field, get totals, max, min, count etc from your query

[pokerhand]

Found this in America. Food is fabulous, cheap and ready in 3 minutes. Been there a couple of times and loved it. Is it too good to be true or is it the future? Anyone else been in one of these?

http://www.flamebroilerusa.com/menu/

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[NewApproach]

Potentially retarded question but could a GBP bank account be SEPA enabled or does it by definition have to be denominated in Euro?

[Mellor]

This is pretty class. And the tech will only get better, smaller and more affordable.

http://www.wired.com/2015/05/lily-robotics-drone/

[Guest]

This is pretty class. And the tech will only get better, smaller and more affordable.
http://www.wired.com/2015/05/lily-robotics-drone/

I predict it will mainly be used by cyclists in urban areas who go out of their way to get into confrontations with motorists

[shrapnel]

Presumably you just drive away on your old licence while waiting or are you theoretically barred from driving until they sort you out?

your old licence is fine ( so long as it's from a recognised country). I drove on my english one in Ireland for 8 years before switching it to an Irish one (and when i switched it, the irish civil servants fucked it up and forgot to add my motorcycle licence onto it), although funnily enough i wasn't allowed to drive in the UK anymore with it as it contained false information re country of residence and address.

[mocata]

Potentially retarded question but could a GBP bank account be SEPA enabled or does it by definition have to be denominated in Euro?

All EU bank acc's are SEPA enabled i thought (hence the name). I have IBAN/Bic listed on mine, but the currency will always be GBP. Transferwise or similar service is best way round getting raped on fee's/exchange rate

[shrapnel]

roll up for some alphabet sheep, shepherded by an Alpha shepherd who will round his flock in no time (not like that pointless one with his pointless flock )

Alphabet BAAAA

roll up, roll up, still plenty of time to send your answers in. 10 players so far, another 10 would be great!

[White Knight]

Also the broadband provider: you have to email to cancel, but they only tell you this after they force you to ring them (its not on their website) so they can sales speel you and then reluctantly give you the cancelation email address. You then need to get cancellation confirmation email from them which they promise to do in two days. They conveniently didn't respond when I cancelled before and I had to ring them to sort it out as they continued to charge the previous amount. Claimed not to have received the email despite me having a confirmation of receipt email they sent. They didn't respond this time, so I just cancelled the direct debit, because of their little tricks. Would have had no bother paying the last months dues, but its just the way they've set it up to take advantage of people.

UPC?

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[DeadParrot]

If you own a TV, then it probably receives the tv channels, the reception is just shite without an aerial plugged in.

As for electricity bills, the last 3 houses I've lived in I've signed up to electricity in one of my friends names (who in ireland). I pay the bills and all, just its just a handy buffer that I have up my sleeve in they act like dicks. In the past I've moved out and left the last bill when they were being wankers.

When I was living in vancouver, my household bills (tv and power) were in the names of John Aldridge and Terry Phelan respectively.

[DeadParrot]

Thanks for the help, I seem to be getting the sum of the numbers rather than a list, cant find where to change it.

already answered

[ArmaniJeans]

Who would win in a darts contest, you or chadley?

Me I'd imagine. His hand eye coordination can't be up to much after all the years of binge drinking

It wouldn't be a contest.

When is this event taking place, could be the first IPBPPV event.

[AndyFatBastard]

Since we're doing this I'll let you into my head at one point during the match tonight. I was musing about talented Messi is with a football, and I wondered at how amazing he must be at cunnilingus. The things he can do with a football, just imagine what he could do with a clitoris.

Then, naturally, I had the thought he would be nothing compared to Ronaldo in this department. That prompted a debate between two parts of my mind. One side had it that Ronaldo is a Greek God, full of testosterone, and would give a lady the monster fuck of her young life. Fair enough said the other side, but we are talking about cunnilingus here. Messi is a team player.

Personally I think the matter should be settled empirically in a Pay Per View extravaganza.

<3

Puts whole new meaning to the question, "Can he do it on a wet tuesday night in Stoke?"

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[oleras]

Thats sad, the only guy who was enjoyable when he was standing in on LiveLine.

He had a good old cookery show also.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Raoul Duke III]

your old licence is fine ( so long as it's from a recognised country). I drove on my english one in Ireland for 8 years before switching it to an Irish one (and when i switched it, the irish civil servants fucked it up and forgot to add my motorcycle licence onto it), although funnily enough i wasn't allowed to drive in the UK anymore with it as it contained false information re country of residence and address.

Ah so it matters not. Merci

[Strewelpeter]

Jaysus
Was just listening to him on the radio at the weekend, he sounded like he was in great form and doing well.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[DeadParrot]

pic taken of him last weekend