Bad beat/Moan/Venting Thread - BBV Archive 1

[Zosma]

Why what would he do to you if he got on???

I seriously think I would have died (literally, not in a camp way)
I'm fine with snakes or rats but bugs terrify me

[a-k-47]

...............................................

[Ste05]

I seriously think I would have died (literally, not in a camp way)
I'm fine with snakes or rats but bugs terrify me

LOL...

I'm the same with Sea anemones, for some reason I'm worried if I was to step on one, I'd be stung and die and I've no idea if they're even poisonous. (I'm hoping they are!!) Disgusting characters altogether.

[UraiseIfold]

This guy makes amazingly catchy funk stuff and would be a barrell o' larfs. If he doesn't clash with anyone I'd strongly recommend you go see him!

Nice one. Might do that.

This is my number one, not to be missed, act for the weekend - Crystal Castles [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e1vJ82P5Wo[/ame]

[NewApproach]

Never mind spiders, I am petrified of mice and rats. Even the thought of them makes me squirm!

[6starpool]

The morning I was leaving for Vegas in 2008, found this beast on my curtain in my room. The lightswitch is in the picture for context, and it is a normal sized lightswitch. I'm not twitchy about spiders normally at all, but this was just wrong. I was in a rush so just left it there, and when I came back from Vegas 2 weeks later I expected it to have eaten my bed or something, but I've never seen it since which is weird since there were no windows open while I was away, and under the door is very tight.

[Funkymonk]

Oh ye of little faith

im not of little faith but it has been misplaced in previous years

[GrangeUtd]

The morning I was leaving for Vegas in 2008, found this beast on my curtain in my room. The lightswitch is in the picture for context, and it is a normal sized lightswitch. I'm not twitchy about spiders normally at all, but this was just wrong. I was in a rush so just left it there, and when I came back from Vegas 2 weeks later I expected it to have eaten my bed or something, but I've never seen it since which is weird since there were no windows open while I was away, and under the door is very tight.

I know its not that relevant for this country but people fear spiders more the bigger they are
even though its mostly the smaller ones that do the damage in countries that have poisonous spiders.

[LuckyLloyd]

Not a prayer of getting a ticket on the day if what I hear is accurate. Might still get some on Ticketmaster.

On the day I assume you know all the usual tricks for getting tickets? How many are you after. If I hear of any going spare I can sort you out.

Thanks everyone for the responses. I think I'm looking for three. Going to make a couple of calls this morning and get some if they can be got on Ticketmaster.

[LuckyLloyd]

Dublin bandwagon will re-emerge in serious force this weekend. Hence why, despite the fact I've been to every game this year in Dublin and 1 away league game (work commitments prevent), it's been a pain getting Hill tickets for this weekend. You could set up a deck chair up there for the Tipp and Armagh games but now I have to pull strings to get tickets? I fucking hate fairweather fans.

As for the 1st few rows thing: I reckon it makes sense given how shit scared the GAA are of pitch invasions. Given the winner this year will be the first non-Kerry or Tyrone winner in almost a decade you can be sure people will be wanting to invade the pitch. I don't necessarily agree with it but I see the logic to it.

When I'm looking for tickets it says it all tbh.

[coillcam]

Ugh, brought back one of the lads last night as he was polluted and the gardai were going to lift him for being drunk and lippy. So he decides to piss himself in the spare bed.

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[coillcam]

^^^ oh feck, bet he's mortified but that doesn't get rid of the long-term stench. Guess you give him the bill for a new mattress?

He'll be back in London by the time I could buy a new one. At least he did the "gentlemanly" thing of turning it over for me or so he says anyway.

[Icarus152]

IPB down for anyone else earlier or just me? around 07.30?

[Emmet]

Piss is sterile...

Something I had to keep telling myself as I cleaned up after a music festival before.

If he's had a rake of pints, chances are he pissed out pretty much only water, its when people are dehydrated and take a piss that it "smells like piss"

- Shocked that I had 3 sentences about urine

[coillcam]

IPB down for anyone else earlier or just me? around 07.30?

twas down for me, for a few minutes just after 9.30am

[Icarus152]

Piss is sterile...

Something I had to keep telling myself as I cleaned up after a music festival before.

If he's had a rake of pints, chances are he pissed out pretty much only water, its when people are dehydrated and take a piss that it "smells like piss"

- Shocked that I had 3 sentences about urine

Immeadiately after it leaves the body it's sterile but it doesn't stay that way for long though.It still contains all the tasty nutrients that bacteria love.Try leaving the "clean" piss damp on your mattress for a day or two and see how clean it smells.

Best way to handle mattress piss is a hairdyer,I shit you not.

[tylerdurden94]

Fucking rollercoaster and then a slog to cash in the SE tournie.

[RasTa]

I've only pissed myself once in my drinking career. Some of my mates have pissed on other mates heads and in their wardrobe, on their shirts etc.

[coillcam]

Immeadiately after it leaves the body it's sterile but it doesn't stay that way for long though.It still contains all the tasty nutrients that bacteria love.Try leaving the "clean" piss damp on your mattress for a day or two and see how clean it smells.

Best way to handle mattress piss is a hairdyer,I shit you not.

I have not got the ghey and there are no females in the house so unfortunately I can't experiment with a hairdryer as we don't have one

I was thinking the bleach and dettol line of action, but I might chuck it outside for a bit. It was so funny this morning to see yer man get picked up wearing his boxers, socks and shoes with his clothes in a plastic bag. He wouldn't even consider a shower or borrowing some of my clothes.

The guy who picked him up is supposedly just after being done for drink driving for the second time and now "attending AA meetings and the whole lot". lol alcohol indeed, is there any hope for us?

[Emmet]

Ugh at BBV Watersports discussion which is on the horizon...

[coillcam]

Ugh at BBV Watersports discussion which is on the horizon...

My spare bed got a golden shower last night, I was told she should feel privileged and also to be happy that she wasn't a prude.

[Wreck]

C&P post of the day from boards.

[Wreck]

I've only pissed myself once in my drinking career. Some of my mates have pissed on other mates heads and in their wardrobe, on their shirts etc.

I've never done it, which is pretty amazing considering how blotto I've been on various occasions. I think I'm probably alone among mates in that, some of them have done it once or twice, but others have a whole catalogue of episodes.

[LuckyLloyd]

Never pissed myself (since I was a kid anyway). A couple of my mates have amassed a few war stories down through the years though...

IPB down for anyone else earlier or just me? around 07.30?

twas down for me, for a few minutes just after 9.30am

Yep, the site was utterly mangled for a few hours early this morning. Ste seems to have fixed it though, so well done Ste.

[Ste05]

IPB down for anyone else earlier or just me? around 07.30?

twas down for me, for a few minutes just after 9.30am

Yep, the site was utterly mangled for a few hours early this morning. Ste seems to have fixed it though, so well done Ste.

Yup! I rock IMO!!

It should have been fine by 9.30 though

[DAMO72]

Ugh, brought back one of the lads last night as he was polluted and the gardai were going to lift him for being drunk and lippy. So he decides to piss himself in the spare bed.

Tip : Pour some liquid comfort into a basin of luke warm water and then get a large towell and soak it in it and lay it on the matress and let it soak right thru. If it doesn't go thru soak again until it does. Then leave to dry naturally and there will be no stench .
Oh raise the matress between 2 chairs or something and put a bowl under to catch any liquid .

[kakak1]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FQb8ZqS-18&feature=player_embedded[/ame]

[Icarus152]

I've never done it,

Never pissed myself

Drinking.You're doing it wrong.

[Icarus152]

Oh raise the matress between 2 chairs or something and put a bowl under to catch any liquid .

Jesus Damo,how much piss are we talking about here?

[Ste05]

Jesus Damo,how much piss are we talking about here?

Watersports Bukkake FTW!!

[Icarus152]

lol,oh dear.

[Raoul Duke III]

a new low

[IPB Champ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FQb8...layer_embedded

Euw @ ur man shitting himself and keeps on running, that's dedication for ya.

[Solskjaer]

TL DR

my brother used to be a pisswalker, these are sleepwalkers who get up to piss but don't care what is behind door A or B , it's just get pissed on. He pissed on my cool collection of cycling weeklys in the late 80s and I had to throw them out.
I've obviously never forgiven or forgotten that. Fecking pisswalker.

Spideys
In the last company I worked for one of the lads in the warehouse found a big spider, cupped it in his hands and placed it into the hands of one of the girls in production, she passed out there and then. (LOL) I don't think spidey was too happy either. The pint glass and cardboard is a simple way to rid yourself of the harmless spidey. I had on in my mouth once when asleep but coughed it up (details posted in old BBV )
Oh Yeah I hate moths, they must die alongside ipoker. Rats and mice die suprisingly easy, even the humble slipper can be a killer. I have one with 17 deaths on it's heel. I had to throw out the 17er due to the last bloodbath it got a bit battletorn, herself said "either I go or the 17er goes" ungrateful I call it. She made a murderer out of me that girl.


Will miss the Dubs game on Sunday but I've got them this far they can manage without me now.

[kakak1]

Tip : Pour some liquid comfort into a basin of luke warm water and then get a large towell and soak it in it and lay it on the matress and let it soak right thru. If it doesn't go thru soak again until it does. Then leave to dry naturally and there will be no stench .
Oh raise the matress between 2 chairs or something and put a bowl under to catch any liquid .

There's an experienced man who knows what he's talking about

[Ste05]

a new low

I'm sure we can go lower!!

[Icarus152]

^^^^^^^^^ "cycling weeklys", yeah right.

[Raoul Duke III]

I spoke too soon, it seems

[Wreck]

Damn, I missed my 666th post, had intended redoing my 666th one on boards! Here it is anyway, with some of the responses.

I guess I should start off by saying that I'd probably be best described as
A lapsed Catholic, although probably lapsed Christian is a better phrase, as in
My honest opinion I will never return to the Catholic Church. I've considered
Submitting this post to the Paranormal forum but I've never really gone in for
Any of that stuff.I'm really just looking for some advice and reassurance over
The things that have happened in the last month or so.

About six weeks ago I was out drinking with some mates.I got pretty drunk,
Not something I do regularly anymore. We got chatting to this group of girls,
Bought a round of drinks etc. One of them was really cute, dark haired with
Elfin features. When she went out for a smoke I decided to join her.She was
Extremely friendly, and I thought she was definetly flirting with me.Things
Looked good and we were chatting away. She told me she was was studying
Zoology, and that she was an amateur psychic. I jokingly asked her what the
Exact name of my dead granddad was. She said she was unsure but that she
Believed it was the same as my full name. I was astounded, because pretty
Unbelievably she got it exactly right. I asked her was there would she
Be able to tell me anything about my future. She said she would do a 'reading'

This is where it starts to get really weird. She took my hands in hers and closed her eyes. I was kinda laughing and joking about it, but a little nervous. Suddenly she opened her eyes and pushed me away. She was really pale and shaking all over. She said that she felt a some kind of presence and pretty much ran off inside without another word. I was in shock really and had another smoke. When I got back inside she had left with one of her mates, and the lads were all asking me what I had done to her. I kind of laughed it off and proceded to get absolutely hammered.

Since that night I've felt really uneasy and a little weird. I've been sleepwalking, something I haven't done since I was a child. I find time passes really quickly and sometimes there are gaps in the day when I can't remember what I've been doing. I'm starting to think there is something really wrong with me.

Is it possible I am possessed by an evil spirit or something? Or did that girl do something to me with her 'reading'? What would a priest say if I went to one and told them?

So the first letter of each line above spells out I AM SATAN BEELZEBUB, and I had "The Bowels of Hell" spelt backwards as my location. I can't remember what I had as my avatar and sig but they were suitably devilish.

Plenty of people thought I was serious, most just took the piss saying I'd totally got burned my the girl, but some were more disturbing then others.

doesnt sound like your possesed...
im a spiritualist of a sort i have mild powers thant i have yet to learn to harness to use them to their full extent...

its proberaly an attached spirit or angel as some people call them. They can be deceased family members or friends. Sometimes they stick around you waiting for you to do a task for them that they wished you would do, sometimes its just to watch over you.
This spirit that scared the woman could have been someone who had a bad past but had no grudges against you.
an evil spirit will never intrude unless you welcome then even if you dont say it out loud.

try to block it out and tell it to leave , and although you arnt religious u could try healing crystals. But i would only advise them if you believe in them. If you do i would advise amethyst.
Good Luck

Then a few others pointed out that is was my 666th post and people started to notice the little clues.

Also did anyone notice that in the first and second paragraph where the first letter is in capitals it says I AM SATAN BEEZLEBUB.

huh, so it does.

Well done OP.

I think.

edit: I'm kind of disappointed though. When I thought he'd gotten burned I was thinking how awesome that chick must have been. Now she doesn't even exist.

I came clean shorty after.

Edit: Oh yeah for anyone who is unsure the entire op was made up as a joke for my 666th post. I also had a suitably fiendish tagline, avatar, location and signature, all of which are now gone. Sorry to disappoint all the religious/paranormal nuts who believed it. I was originally going to post it in the Christianity forum but chickened out at the last minute.

Which was followed some time later by on of my favourite posts, proving that plenty of people just don't bother reading anything outside the op.

I guess you thought wrong. You must have been so repulsive that she had to go to the trouble of making up some bullshit excuse about being a psychic to try get away from you. Ha, you must feel terrible.

Would have been fun to retry it here!

[Solskjaer]

^^^^^^^^^ "cycling weeklys", yeah right.

5 brothers, prono mags were not storable.

[Ste05]

I spoke too soon, it seems

And it's a Friday so who knows what will be discussed in here today after this start!

[DAMO72]

Thats the last time i talk fukkin sense round here .

[Raoul Duke III]

And it's a Friday so who knows what will be discussed in here today after this start!

let's try and bring the tone back up - I bought some Dublin Theatre Festival tickets today. Going to Enron, Boston Marriage and The Silver Tassie. Cultural overload.

fucked if I'm going to anything with Polish surtitles though , I can get surly mitteleuropeans in my local coffee shop

[Solskjaer]

let's try and bring the tone back up - I bought some Dublin Theatre Festival tickets today. Going to Enron, Boston Marriage and The Silver Tassie. Cultural overload.

fucked if I'm going to anything with Polish surtitles though , I can get surly mitteleuropeans in my local coffee shop

Bringing it back down.

Why did the condom fly out the window?

It got pissed off.

[Zod]

5 brothers, prono mags were not storable.

and ytou certainly didn't want the "hand-me-downs".

[Wesley Harms]

Lads get yourselves over and sign up for Werewolf.

I'm looking at you Damo and You Lloyd plus any od the rest of you newbies

[Raoul Duke III]

you young lads probably don't remember what valuable (and scarce) commodities porn mags were in Ireland in the 80s/90s

I remember making a 500% profit on a delivery of Mayfair mags to some classmates after a trip to Belfast in 1989. Them were the days! The act of actually owning a porn mag was almost as much fun as what was inside.

stupid liberalisation of society and internet ruined all that innocent fun

[Ste05]

you young lads probably don't remember what valuable (and scarce) commodities porn mags were in Ireland in the 80s/90s

I remember making a 500% profit on a delivery of Mayfair mags to some classmates after a trip to Belfast in 1989. Them were the days! The act of actually owning a porn mag was almost as much fun as what was inside.

stupid liberalisation of society and internet ruined all that innocent fun

Indeed, I remember when I was a young lad, we had to buy nudy playing cards in the Joke shops for nekkid womminz, porn really was very difficult to get back then, (even Playboy was banned FFS) young lads these days don't know how lucky they are!!

Also, UL on getting the tone back up with your ghey Theatre post RDIII, I think you aimed too high with that one, probably should have aimed a little lower.

[DAMO72]

Lads get yourselves over and sign up for Werewolf.

I'm looking at you Damo and You Lloyd plus any od the rest of you newbies

LOL , id rather sleep on a freshly pissed on matress.


Edit: That should get us nicely back on topic

[Wesley Harms]

LOL , id rather sleep on a freshly pissed on matress.

Don't judge

[Solskjaer]

you young lads probably don't remember what valuable (and scarce) commodities porn mags were in Ireland in the 80s/90s

I remember making a 500% profit on a delivery of Mayfair mags to some classmates after a trip to Belfast in 1989. Them were the days! The act of actually owning a porn mag was almost as much fun as what was inside.

stupid liberalisation of society and internet ruined all that innocent fun

Kids in school showed me a prono mag for the 1st time and I (being a mere chisler) was a bit taken aback. It's not for the eyes of an 11 year old let me tell you and even though I didn't know what celebacy was, I took an instant vow there and then.

(the bolded part to be read in a 'wonder years' narrators accent)

[ionapaul]

The morning I was leaving for Vegas in 2008, found this beast on my curtain in my room. The lightswitch is in the picture for context, and it is a normal sized lightswitch. I'm not twitchy about spiders normally at all, but this was just wrong. I was in a rush so just left it there, and when I came back from Vegas 2 weeks later I expected it to have eaten my bed or something, but I've never seen it since which is weird since there were no windows open while I was away, and under the door is very tight.

The lad I saw last night in my sink was about the same size as this one Dom - what a monster! For Ireland at least, so freaky...

[Wreck]

Kids in school showed me a prono mag for the 1st time and I (being a mere chisler) was a bit taken aback. It's not for the eyes of an 11 year old let me tell you and even though I didn't know what celebacy was, I took an instant vow there and then.

(the bolded part to be read in a 'wonder years' narrators accent)

First porno mag I ever saw, at the age of 13, was a freaking bestiality magazine, no wonder I'm so fucked up now!

[Wombatman]

Parenting Dilemma

Off on the train to Dublin with the kids 7 & 5. Kids under 5 go free saving €24 yoyo. 5 year old could easily pass as a 4 year old. I would have to prepare her by telling her to lie if asked what age she is etc.

Problem: I'm constantly telling them not to lie and that the world would be a much better place if nobody told lies etc.

???????

[Bless You]

Saw my first 'proper' porn mag when I was thirteen on a school trip to Amsterdam.
We were there to see the Zuider Zee project (yeah right, saw some dykes alright).
Saw a picture of a lady putting the reciever of a telephone somewhere Alexander Bell never intended it to go. I laughed away with the lads but was nearly sick on the spot.

This was one of the old style telephones too, them big clunky yokes that had the round spinning dial.
Haunted me for manys the day afterwards. I was a bit sheltered I suppose.
My big mistake was running to confession when I got home, but that's another story.

[Raoul Duke III]

Parenting Dilemma

Off on the train to Dublin with the kids 7 & 5. Kids under 5 go free saving €24 yoyo. 5 year old could easily pass as a 4 year old. I would have to prepare her by telling her to lie if asked what age she is etc.

Problem: I'm constantly telling them not to lie and that the world would be a much better place if nobody told lies etc.

???????

can't believe you're not tryingto pass them both off as under 5

[ionapaul]

let's try and bring the tone back up - I bought some Dublin Theatre Festival tickets today. Going to Enron, Boston Marriage and The Silver Tassie. Cultural overload.

fucked if I'm going to anything with Polish surtitles though , I can get surly mitteleuropeans in my local coffee shop

Wow, those three look good - I'll definitely grab tickets for Enron and the Silver Tassie (anyone notice that the Silver Tassie pub in Loughlinstown recently changed colour?), I'd have loved to sit down for The Danton Case as well but like you, not really a fan of subtitles (unless in an opera I suppose). For a mid-sized European city, we seem to have a fairly good theatre scene here, been to various productions in the Gate over the past few years and haven't been disappointed. Pity about the lack of quality opera.

[Bless You]

Parenting Dilemma

Off on the train to Dublin with the kids 7 & 5. Kids under 5 go free saving €24 yoyo. 5 year old could easily pass as a 4 year old. I would have to prepare her by telling her to lie if asked what age she is etc.

Problem: I'm constantly telling them not to lie and that the world would be a much better place if nobody told lies etc.

???????

Big lollipop for herself and you do the talking.
Problem solved.

[Raoul Duke III]

Wow, those three look good - I'll definitely grab tickets for Enron and the Silver Tassie (anyone notice that the Silver Tassie pub in Loughlinstown recently changed colour?), I'd have loved to sit down for The Danton Case as well but like you, not really a fan of subtitles (unless in an opera I suppose). For a mid-sized European city, we seem to have a fairly good theatre scene here, been to various productions in the Gate over the past few years and haven't been disappointed. Pity about the lack of quality opera.

arra, the auld Dubs do love dere thayatre. I even encountered Solksjaer's hero, Ronnie Drew, on an opening night outside the Gaiety once. He rolled up somewhat unsteadily to the front doors and, just before he got to them, hocked up a huge gozzie which he then spat out on to the pavement. What an entertainer.

The Gate is definitely the most consistent theatre in town in terms of its offerings. Plus it gives you the excuse to hit Chapter One for the pre-theatre menu . No contest for the worst - the Abbey by a mile.

I've never been to the Opera, you have out-gheyed me sir. WP