Bad beat/Moan/Venting Thread - BBV Archive 1

[Dice75]

no cheating but guess on this guys age?

Trick Question - its Bubba Gump, he died in Vietnam.

[Aya14]

Bleh 3rd

[RichieM]

lol cook the f'ing through that was fire was invented!

Fire was invented to warm steaks and houses and not to burn either

[Guest]

3. if they watch any form of reality TV

Can we add watch soaps Eastenders fair city this sort of bollox too

[Icarus152]

I suck at poker and am a busto rentboy.

FFS I've only been gone a couple of hours,what did I miss?

[tylerdurden94]

I only chop 4 ways when I am the shortstack and the deal is LOLbad for the chipleaders.

Have to say I was amazed they both took the deal eagerly.

That guy on my right though Danny, some of the nonsense he was talking during the night was just unreal. Funny stuff though.

Yeah some pretty crazy stuff alright, when you were talking about that arthouse movie with that really crazy scene and he thought they actually filmed it.

just figured out how to hide people joining groups/likes on fb. probably the most productive thing i've done so far today.

took me a while to work out what that post was about! I presume you're talking to me though.


http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/8861

If you're using Firefox or Chrome FBPurity is the business.

http://www.fbpurity.com/

Well done lads well done

[DeadParrot]

d) dont believe a plane can take off on a treadmill
e) believe a sandwiche cut in half is two sandwiches

[Icarus152]

d) dont believe a plane can take off on a treadmill
e) believe a sandwiche cut in half is two sandwiches

[ x ] High.

[DeadParrot]

common sense tbf

[ghostface]

Yeah some pretty crazy stuff alright, when you were talking about that arthouse movie with that really crazy scene and he thought they actually filmed it.

Crazy film reference please

[Guest]

Ugh I'm tired, will someone get the train down and drive me up from Cork, or vice versa?

[Teddie]

Theres 2 ways that should be used to judge a persons character

1. how they take their steak

2. if they get priority boarding, stand like a plonker in the que or sit and wait to be the last one on

What's an acceptable way to take their steak and the right way to board a plane? Obv If I have to ask etc etc.

[Lord Sir Banter]

Worked out last night that Ted Williams is Willem Dafoe

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000353/

[Strewelpeter]

This is great.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00d1rsd

[Icarus152]

Worked out last night that Ted Williams is Willem Dafoe

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000353/

There's one very minor difference between them.

[RichieM]

clearly they are both different heights

[RoadSweeper]

What's an acceptable way to take their steak

My mates dad when asked how he would like his steak done, replied: "Slap the cow on the arse and send her in to me".

[sligoboi]

d) dont believe a plane can take off on a treadmill
e) believe a sandwiche cut in half is two sandwiches

awooga?

[Icarus152]

clearly they are both different heights

Not that clear from the pics though Gillian.

[Solskjaer]

That Brazil Social welfare thing.
It's actually quite a simple but excellent solution. If you have to use old bribe tactics to ensure the poor behave
in a progressive instead of a destructive manner you are by definition making your country more progressive. (get this into their psyche..pavlov?) If you have a company that appears to have performance problems the 1st thing an outside consultant will tell you is too look at your performance review/rewards system.

tl dr :-P
How do we use it over here?

SPOILER

Well we do in a way with our FAS schemes, however they are a bit of a joke. FAS needs to be overhauled. All the unmarried mothers who call their kids by the different Fathers surnames should be put on these courses and shown how to knit, wash and basically STFU on trains/buses etc They should also be shown how to discipline a child without deafening the rest of the commuters. They should be shown how to use the appropriate amount of syllables in a word. Example : The word Apologise has 4 max and not 7.
OL fellas over 50 should be shown how to read the other pages in the Newspaper other than the back 4 pages.
Hoodies called Anto should be trained how to walk without the shoulder twitch and do eye exercises to enable left eye
right eyes to synch . All should be taught music so they can pass on the wonderful tunes sang by Ronnie Drew.
To ensure attendance advertise the use of the 'metronome' in music classes this will initiate early interest. Once you have them inside stick Ronnie on and see how they sing along like gremlins watching snow white. (Do not play the Wolf Tones as they will stand on the table and try to kick the lights)

[hotspur]

Theres 2 ways that should be used to judge a persons character

1. how they take their steak

2. if they get priority boarding, stand like a plonker in the que or sit and wait to be the last one on

3. if they watch any form of reality TV

4. If they need facebook to constanlty update there status! or indeed use facebook more that 4 times a day, seriously people everyone doesnt need to know if you seen a lovely little cat! man up and to the women, Les up and ref to the manning up bit!

5. If they're a jew

Too soon?

[RichieM]

so did any soccer managers get fired today?

[DeadParrot]

awooga?

<---------------8 miles

[Denny Crane]

shown how to discipline a child without deafening the rest of the commuters. They should be shown how to use the appropriate amount of syllables in a word. Example : The word Apologise has 4 max and not 7.

One thing I wonder about; why do they always talk so fast as well?

[Lord Sir Banter]

There's one very minor difference between them.

I'm sure you have heard of make up/fake tan.

[robinblinds]

no cheating but guess on this guys age?

He beat Obefemi Martins in the 3rd class sack race last year.

[Semibluff]

saw him score gordon and thought it was seedorf

[sligoboi]

<---------------8 miles

huh?

[Sledgejammer]

so did any soccer managers get fired today?

Seen it reporred from a decent source on twitter that Hodgson just got the boot, no other sources as of yet though afaik

EDIT disregard that, seems it was a piss take

[ghostface]

Ouch studs to the face, Melo is such a scumbag!

Accidental surely

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/felipe-melo-sent-off-for-kung-kick-parma-8080229/

[Strewelpeter]

Seen it reporred from a decent soudce on twitrer tbat Hodgson just got the boot, no other sources as of yet though afaik

How many times has that been said here in the last three months?
>20 IMO
Could be true this time though.

[RichieM]

Seen it reporred from a decent soudce on twitrer tbat Hodgson just got the boot, no other sources as of yet though afaik

EDIT disregard that, seems it was a piss take

suerley keeping him on is the piss take. Is there some sort of Wagner esq betting syndicate at work and taking down serious cash from Betfair?

[Downtown]

"I suck at poker and am a busto rentboy. My nickname-choosing skillz could also use work"

Bit harsh. Just bitter because your tv show Fraiser got cancelled.

[Semibluff]

Melo = scumbag

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodi...parma-8080229/

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/felipe-melo-sent-off-for-kung-kick-parma-8080229/

[Trippie]

He beat Obefemi Martins in the 3rd class sack race last year.

saw him score gordon and thought it was seedorf

ye he is definetly from the obefemi martins school of football. The kid is just 20 and even that pic is over a year old. He looked even older today, at one stage him and seedorf standing beside each other and there was no way you'd think there was 15 years in the difference.

On another note, watching the game today robinho must have the most basic football boots around. Plain black ones with an old school type shape. Just seems strange considering he is brazilian

[Trippie]

Melo = scumbag

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodi...parma-8080229/

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodi...parma-8080229/

That is his 6th red card in less than three years. Up there with Paolo Montero for complete and utter lunacy

[Emmet]

"POS - Jackson Court Hotel"

Every time, ffs. Need to start remembering nights more than just what the laser card tells me. That's 2010 me, new me just sleeps all the time.

[sligoboi]

Right, time to get out of bed and spread my germs to a wider audience..

[Denny Crane]

That's 2010 me, new me just sleeps all the time.

really? i was hoping you could introduce me to couriercollie's niece, or at least go on some whiskey fuelled escapades when i'm in edinburgh!

[Emmet]

really? i was hoping you could introduce me to couriercollie's niece, or at least go on some whiskey fuelled escapades when i'm in edinburgh!

Off Booze till Scotland vs Ireland 6N game! Still trying to figure out what to do with my last remaining smoke though.. To indulge or to bin?

Trying to get the oul life train back on the tracks after some serious derailment in Dublin over Christmas.

[AndyFatBastard]

Off Booze till Scotland vs Ireland 6N game! Still trying to figure out what to do with my last remaining smoke though.. To indulge or to bin?

Put it in a small container marked: "In Case Of Emergency".

[Emmet]

Put it in a small container marked: "In Case Of Emergency".

Airport might not be too happy with that...

[hotspur]

ye he is definetly from the obefemi martins school of football. The kid is just 20 and even that pic is over a year old. He looked even older today, at one stage him and seedorf standing beside each other and there was no way you'd think there was 15 years in the difference.

He's from Sierre Leone which means that there's close to zero chance that he is the age he says he is, he would be at a minimum 3 years older and possibly 5.

Yakubu is about 5 years older than his reported age apparently.

I have looked into African player lying about their age twice in the past month for some reason and read various stuff. It's totally standard, especially among Ghanian and Nigerian players. African players don't get trials in Europe at age 23, they lie for very good reasons and because they can get away with it.

Jon Obi Mikel is another. I think John Terrry actually said Mikel lied about his age.

[Lord Sir Banter]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1qHvJKbwjE[/ame]

[Keane]

Just bought a hotfile account for a month to test it out - RS.com speeds divided by six by the looks of it

[Sledgejammer]

He's from Sierre Leone which means that there's close to zero chance that he is the age he says he is, he would be at a minimum 3 years older and possibly 5.

Yakubu is about 5 years older than his reported age apparently.

I have looked into African player lying about their age twice in the past month for some reason and read various stuff. It's totally standard, especially among Ghanian and Nigerian players. African players don't get trials in Europe at age 23, they lie for very good reasons and because they can get away with it.

Jon Obi Mikel is another. I think John Terrry actually said Mikel lied about his age.

They're famous for it, there was some incident involving a Nigerian youth team and Fifa changed how strict they'd be in proving players ages and suddenly almost the entire squad was dropped and replaced, forget the full story now but something along those lines. I believe Nigeria have a very good record at youth level, and it's not hard to imagine why

What's baffling is these "youths" keep getting signed by big clubs, guess they probably cost very little so they're worth the risk

[Trippie]

My sister with an absolute belter while watching the news tonight. There was the standard daily live register update accompanied by the normal pics of everyone queuing up.

"It seems not only do you not need a job but tracksuit bottoms and runners are requirements to signing on as well"

[coillcam]

He's from Sierre Leone which means that there's close to zero chance that he is the age he says he is, he would be at a minimum 3 years older and possibly 5.

Yakubu is about 5 years older than his reported age apparently.

I have looked into African player lying about their age twice in the past month for some reason and read various stuff. It's totally standard, especially among Ghanian and Nigerian players. African players don't get trials in Europe at age 23, they lie for very good reasons and because they can get away with it.

Jon Obi Mikel is another. I think John Terrry actually said Mikel lied about his age.

Yup, I know a nigerian guy through work and he pretty much said that I can go to the local government office with a birth cert I printed out and filled in with a pencil and some black dude's pic and become a nigerian citizen with a real passport. He said Jay Jay Okocha could have been 40 when he was playing for Bolton.

I also saw his French national id card which he actually uses, as he dropped it once at work once and it says he is a big fat dude with a completely different first name and surname than he always gave us lol. He hasn't been seen or heard of for a few months now though. He also asked my boss to sponsor his female friend to "work" and live in Ireland at one stage and to pay for his flights home to visit her first, citing that he was good for it man. You know me, I'm just waiting on my paycheck.

[The Situation]

My favourite Nigerian was Taribo West. Apparenely he's meant to be close to 20 years older than he says. He joined Derby County at a spritely '26' years old nearly fully bald.

[kakak1]

For Solskjaer

Gerry Rafferty wrote & sings this one

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMw2h4NORx4&feature=email[/ame]

[hotspur]

"It seems not only do you not need a job but tracksuit bottoms and runners are requirements to signing on as well"

Reminds me of a stand up bit about the "Bally" prefix of areas in Dublin being an ancient gypsy curse: "May all your children wear jeans and runners, even to interviews."

[Sledgejammer]

My favourite Nigerian was Taribo West. Apparenely he's meant to be close to 20 years older than he says. He joined Derby County at a spritely '26' years old nearly fully bald.

Regardless, he was still a must signing on a free for pretty much any club you took over in Championship Manager 01/02

[Silver-Tiger]

3. if they watch any form of reality TV

Bar Masterchef obv.

[LuckyLloyd]

While I buy into a lot of the African footballer age theory - if the likes of Kanu and West are as many years older than they claim - how the fuck are they playing at that level into their early forties when white Europeans are apparently incapable of doing so?

[shano_88]

Poker after dark ep 3.

SPOILER

unbelievable call from Galfond with ak

[Lord Sir Banter]

5 Jan 2011 GSD GOVT DUTY 01 CARD - 5.00

ATM/debit card charge.
Cunts.

[KevIRL]

Applause for all the screeners folks

[bohsman]

While I buy into a lot of the African footballer age theory - if the likes of Kanu and West are as many years older than they claim - how the fuck are they playing at that level into their early forties when white Europeans are apparently incapable of doing so?

Roger Milla showed that its possible anyway.

[Percy007]

Apologies if it has been posted today

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te-tKEoBkt4[/ame]

[Zuroph]

Even before I watch that... USA is batshit crazy.