Bad beat/Moaning/Venting thread - Mammy told me not to come.

[MrsFlushdraw]

Something a bit personally funny: my daughter has been back in Dublin for two weeks, mainly with a babysitter - and is now purely speaking with a D4 accent. Like it's completely changed her way of speaking. Seems, according to Google, that this is a thing. Some people pick up accents almost in passing.

My main task today has been getting used to Tinder. Wife (who went to Ireland two weeks ago) is almost certainly leaving me. I'd stay with her forever because of the kids but she clearly wants more - like obvious stuff that the reason for the relationship is also about her. I'm not sure it is really. Love my kids to bits, but her - meh.

So I've downloaded Tinder. Not 100% sure how it works. Guess I just keep clicking "yes" on the non-manky profiles?

Am working on getting her back too, but think she's not for turning - turns out her reason for going to Ireland was to leave me. It's kinda okay, as we can make it work. She wanted to be in Ireland where she knew people.

Is it possible you’ve missed some key posts?
Because the above is obviously not the case. And I’m not talking about geographic situation.
Your acting as if Hitch’s wife is off on a holiday and he can’t contain his ginger warrior. And while that’s not beyond him based on past actions, it’s an unfair description of the current scenario imo.

Look at the posts. One minute he talks of his kid eh the accent, then mentions she has been gone two weeks, says he thinks she is leaving him etc abd days he has a plan to run back basically.

Yeah, tinder and finding black pussy, the way to go.
If someone wants to save their marriage. Cheating is not the way forward. And if you think it is, then I feel sorry for your own partners.

Yes, maybe be is all talk. But if that poor woman ever got a whiff of the stuff here. It's those children who will suffer, she would be devastated to read a fraction of the shit posted here.

Yes, it's all fun and games and fun for us to read. But we are not his family and encouraging him to fuck up any chances of sorting it is stupid imo. It's not just entertainment, it's a family of four with two young children.

If he was single, I'm sure I would laugh with the rest of you.

So Mellor, he can't contain his ginger warrior. It's only been two weeks.

[Solksjaer!]

'Ginger warrior' is what I'm taking from all of this.

[DeadParrot]

are you mixing up

SPOILER

vs

she's always spouting cultural marxism too eh?

Dunno who the first guy is. And wat?

I'm intensely disappointed that this amazing bit of humour was missed.

SPOILER

Ini kamoze BTW

Anyway, highlight of my weekend so far was coming second place in a wing eating contest out in Bray wing fest. The winner blatantly cheated as well but I got a tee shirt so I was happy anyway. Wife and daughter couldn't be prouder.
Chicken Wings >>>Random ebony fanny

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Hitchhiker's Guide To...]

...

[Guest]

Watched about 18 hours of the Lethal Weapon TV series at this stage.

Flipping between 4 or 5 series at the moment, I dont have much interest in any of them.
I haven't been watching lots of TV/Movies though, currently in the midst of Billions, Westworld, Man in the High Castle and Narcos Mexico, there's something else but I can't recall.

Also I went to see The Lion King yesterday, I'll spoiler in case but probably no need:

SPOILER

Very average to poor overall, I thought Seth Rogan did a good job as Pumbaa but I thought Beyonce was awful as Nala, James Earl Jones still crushing it too.

CGI is fantastic as expected but it adds little to nothing to the film itself.
I thought it was a can't win scenario in many respects, change it too much, there is uproar(pun intended). Don't change it enough and it's too alike the original, overall fine but I wouldn't recommend, original certainly better imo.

[Mellor]

If he was single, I'm sure I would laugh with the rest of you.

So Mellor, he can't contain his ginger warrior. It's only been two weeks.

If you think we at laughing along out of entertainment, you grossly mistaken tbh. I don’t think a relationship breakdown is funny in the slightest.
Over the space of a few days Hitch went from recycling wine bottles before the family returned to trying to figure out Tinder. It’s not difficult to figure a potential missing scene that triggered the change. Acting as if he has just gotten bored after two weeks is disingenuous.

[Mellor]

Anyway, highlight of my weekend so far was coming second place in a wing eating contest out in Bray wing fest. The winner blatantly cheated as well but I got a tee shirt so I was happy anyway. Wife and daughter couldn't be prouder.
Chicken Wings >>>Random ebony fanny

Didn’t luckforsome win something like that last year. Be gas if he was the blatant cheater.

I’d be interesting in wing contest where the wings get progressively spicer. But not fussed about fastest. I like wings too much to leave half the meat on the bone.

[Solksjaer!]

IPB a hotbed of cheaters .

[shrapnel]

Didn’t luckforsome win something like that last year. Be gas if he was the blatant cheater.

I’d be interesting in wing contest where the wings get progressively spicer. But not fussed about fastest. I like wings too much to leave half the meat on the bone.

One of my favorite eating competition story.

SPOILER

“Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in… I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.”

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQflavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting red-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT … Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 — No report.

[DeadParrot]

Didn’t luckforsome win something like that last year. Be gas if he was the blatant cheater.

I’d be interesting in wing contest where the wings get progressively spicer. But not fussed about fastest. I like wings too much to leave half the meat on the bone.

Blatent cheater was an older lady who ate/pocketed 2 or 3 wings after the time was over .
She was caught but her brouge indicated the type of hassle a chicken wing MC couldn't be arsed with dealing with and just ignored it. I think if you need to cheat to win a BBQ set you go ahead and claim your prize. It just would have been another thing for me to carry around all day.

[luckforsome]

Didn’t luckforsome win something like that last year. Be gas if he was the blatant cheater.

I’d be interesting in wing contest where the wings get progressively spicer. But not fussed about fastest. I like wings too much to leave half the meat on the bone.

...I did indeed win it in 2017, 18 wings in 3 minutes...Had planned to do it again today, and fully confident of winning again, but not able to make it sadly...Pity, I even had my chicken wing king tshirt ready...

[DeadParrot]

Didn’t luckforsome win something like that last year. Be gas if he was the blatant cheater.

I’d be interesting in wing contest where the wings get progressively spicer. But not fussed about fastest. I like wings too much to leave half the meat on the bone.

They did that one too.
3 Indian lads and a a Lithuanian lady left after wing 7 and the lads bowed out in an act of chivalry.
A few pukers, a few cryers. Was good fun to watch

[Theresa]

balls like basketballs to be pocketing 3 wings after the whistle goes.

[Lazare]

Hope she forgets about them for weeks.

[hotspur]

So is that a speed thing really rather than quantity? Would 18 wings add up to a lot of meat?

[Guest]

When is a wing considered 'eaten'?

[Theresa]

I’m convinced these bird noises in my golf channel are fake. Using NBC as it’s covering it all here in Canada but there is no way you’d be hearing birds chirping away happily in 30mph winds. Am I crazy?

[Guest]

I’m convinced these bird noises in my golf channel are fake. Using NBC as it’s covering it all here in Canada but there is no way you’d be hearing birds chirping away happily in 30mph winds. Am I crazy?

They fake them at The Masters, Augusta run alot of their own coverage for that event so it wouldn't surprise me.

https://slate.com/culture/2019/04/masters-cbs-coverage-birds-real-fake.html

[luckforsome]

So is that a speed thing really rather than quantity? Would 18 wings add up to a lot of meat?

...Yeah its all speed tbh, not a whole lot of meat...Annoyed I couldn't go today, but drank way too much the last 2 days at the golf to even try it...#2020myyear...

[Raoul Duke III]

Jesus, I'd turn into some ponce (OK, a bigger one) if I lived here full time.

Called into the local supermarket for some grub before checking into our abode. Being in the centre of cheese country, there was a memorable display at the cheese counter. The guy at the counter made an excellent read and nailed me for a tourist, making his opening play en Anglais:

"You would like a recommendation?

"Yes please, maybe a Livarot."

"When do you plan to eat it?"

<WTF> "EH, today."

"No, no. Lunch or dinner?"

"Errrrr. Dinner."

"Then this one here. This one <longing gaze at it, drops voice to a whisper> is a lunchtime cheese."

I found myself nodding in agreement as he handed over the dinner-appropriate cheese. Yet feeling I'll be back for the lunchtime cheese tomorrow.

[DeadParrot]

When is a wing considered 'eaten'?

no meat on the bone....but it wasn't strictly adhered to.
I saw wings with loads of meat on being counted

[coillcam]

Anyone got a decent golf stream?

[shrapnel]

Jesus, I'd turn into some ponce (OK, a bigger one) if I lived here full time.

Called into the local supermarket for some grub before checking into our abode. Being in the centre of cheese country, there was a memorable display at the cheese counter. The guy at the counter made an excellent read and nailed me for a tourist, making his opening play en Anglais:

"You would like a recommendation?

"Yes please, maybe a Livarot."

"When do you plan to eat it?"

<WTF> "EH, today."

"No, no. Lunch or dinner?"

"Errrrr. Dinner."

"Then this one here. This one <longing gaze at it, drops voice to a whisper> is a lunchtime cheese."

I found myself nodding in agreement as he handed over the dinner-appropriate cheese. Yet feeling I'll be back for the lunchtime cheese tomorrow.

Make sure you go for the baguette" tradition" (it has a different name in every boulangerie, but they usually get "tradition".

Just came back from a week in Brittany and miss it already

[Guest]

Only found out this exists

The wayback machine

https://archive.org/web/

Bound to be of use to someone here

[ghostface]

Was out walking the baby earlier and a woman pulls up with 2 kids in the car looking for directions to Roadstone club which is only down the road from me. Give her the very straight forward directions and she tells me no thays not right!! Explained to her 3 times, literally a 2 mins car journey and she kept arguing saying that was wrong. She then showed me the address on the phone, told her yep thats the place and her kid started chiming in to say it was wrong place too!! Ended up just kind of walking off and her heading off to try the directions while looking quite sceptical. Bloody weird... why wasnt she using her feckin maps since she showed the address to me on the phone.

[6starpool]

So is that a speed thing really rather than quantity? Would 18 wings add up to a lot of meat?

You've never eaten or even seen a chicken wing?

[mocata]

They did that one too.
3 Indian lads and a a Lithuanian lady left after wing 7 and the lads bowed out in an act of chivalry.
A few pukers, a few cryers. Was good fun to watch

Seen a guy today crushing the wings in a minute section.
He had first bucket gone in 45 secs and was looking another one to go at.
The hottest wing had some guy who was still out from the right before in hero mode. His competitor looked like someone who had their technique nailed, every one was dispatched in 5 secs with zero messing. Hero sobered up and surrendered when the pain really kicked in. 7 or 8 wings in fairness to him.
The entrance archway got blown over onto some people just as we were leaving. Didnt look to be anyone too badly hurt fingers crossed.

[rounders123]

You've never eaten or even seen a chicken wing?

I think I remember Hotspur say he cant handle anything spicy, spicy food sends him dashing to the latrines.

[Lazare]

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

[Lazare]

Genuine question.

What's all the 'making history' stuff about?

Irishman winning open in Ireland?

[Strewelpeter]

Engraving his name on the trophy with a hole and a half to go.

[Emmet]

oh my

[ArmaniJeans]

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

Don't mention Jean Van de Velde.

There's actually disappointingly little water on the course, it's a wee bit featureless. The Scottish courses have a few nicely placed streams.

Genuine question.

What's all the 'making history' stuff about?

Irishman winning open in Ireland?

'Historic' is dramatically overused in sport alright.

[Emmet]

A very un-Irish win.

Crushed it.

[Strewelpeter]

Unreal.
Couldn't happen to a sounder man

[V for Vendetta]

Genuine question.

What's all the 'making history' stuff about?

Irishman winning open in Ireland?

It’s the only major that could be played in Ireland and be won by an Irish man. Only the 2nd time and an Irishman does it. And his first major at that.

[The Situation]

Doing quite well for himself too for an obese bogger.

[Lazare]

There's actually disappointingly little water on the course, it's a wee bit featureless. The Scottish courses have a few nicely placed streams.

Water hazards aren't a big feature of links courses though.

Plenty of wind & rain though.

[Lazare]

A very un-Irish win.

Crushed it.

lol, perfect.

[Solksjaer!]

Historic

[V for Vendetta]

Unreal.
Couldn't happen to a sounder man

I spent a day in his company a few years ago. Met the family and Wendy etc and you just couldn’t imagine a more grounded fella. Living the dream and loving it.

[Solksjaer!]

New marvel Superhero 'Biffoman'

[rounders123]

So so pleased for him!. Unders/Overs on the first pr!ck to shove a pint of Guinness into his hand at 6m from now!

[Lazare]

Water hazards aren't a big feature of links courses though.

Plenty of wind & rain though.

Still breathless after Lazsplaining sport to AJ.

Got away with it.

[rounders123]

I spent a day in his company a few years ago. Met the family and Wendy etc and you just couldn’t imagine a more grounded fella. Living the dream and loving it.

Was this at your secret handshake masons meeting im Molesworth St or a public speaking gig?. What was the circumstances of this shared company I want to know!??

[Solksjaer!]

Jayz can't get a t-off anywhere for tomorrow.

[The Situation]

A widely celebrated multi ethnic English cricket team and an Irish golfer being lauded by everyone up North is a nice tonic to the racial tensions we've seen in Britain of late. Top quality sport showing the UK in it's best light.

[V for Vendetta]

Was this at your secret handshake masons meeting im Molesworth St or a public speaking gig?. What was the circumstances of this shared company I want to know!??

Neither. I spent the day “minding” him at a client golf day at the K club. Just driving a golf buggy back and forth and chatting for about 5 hours. His family showed up as they didn’t get to see him too often those days. I got a days wages too! 😉

[rounders123]

[Guest]

Doing quite well for himself too for an obese bogger.

He won’t struggle for the mortgage anyhow from his real winnings.

[Lazare]

@ MrsF

Was away in Holland for business this week for three days. Didn't ride or even think of ridin.

Got back Fri night.

Wife was homicidal when I got back after spending that time making sure two lunatic monkeys didn't burn the house down or fall out of windows.

I disappeared yesterday morning for two hours to volunteer at parkrun.

I disappeared this morning for two hours to run a race.

This afternoon I really wanted to watch the golf and drink beer.

I negotiated a situation where the three of them headed to the mother in law's while I did some painting and watched the golf. The beer drinking was left out of the negotiations. I added that in.

I bought an 8 pack of Guinness.

They're due home shortly. I got rid of the plastic 'hey this is an 8 pack of booze' packaging and left 3 cans sitting in the fridge. This will make things look like I've only had one.

Here's my question...

If Hitch is a 10 cunt.

What am I?

[dobby]

What am I?

A genius. Wp, sir. Wp

[newbie2]

@laz
That's like Comparing apples to chalk.

You're a coniving, pre-planning, deceitful cunt

Hitch is a spontaneous cunt


All You've done is confirm to Mrs fD is that all men are cunts.

[Lazare]

@laz
That's like Comparing apples to chalk.

You're a coniving, pre-planning, deceitful cunt

Hitch is a spontaneous cunt


All You've done is confirm to Mrs fD is that all men are cunts.

True.

I never looked at it that way.

[Emmet]

@ MrsF

Was away in Holland for business this week for three days. Didn't ride or even think of ridin.

Got back Fri night.

Wife was homicidal when I got back after spending that time making sure two lunatic monkeys didn't burn the house down or fall out of windows.

I disappeared yesterday morning for two hours to volunteer at parkrun.

I disappeared this morning for two hours to run a race.

This afternoon I really wanted to watch the golf and drink beer.

I negotiated a situation where the three of them headed to the mother in law's while I did some painting and watched the golf. The beer drinking was left out of the negotiations. I added that in.

I bought an 8 pack of Guinness.

They're due home shortly. I got rid of the plastic 'hey this is an 8 pack of booze' packaging and left 3 cans sitting in the fridge. This will make things look like I've only had one.

Here's my question...

If Hitch is a 10 cunt.

What am I?

A lightweight

[Lazare]

Forgot to add, I got the painting done.

And it's black.

[SatNav]

So finally finished off the weekend filling in as Area Leader role. 5 Stores mainly Dublin based.

It deffo consumed my day and evenings and my own sales struggled , however Area 2 us ended up with the top sales in the country .

The satisfaction alone was worth it , but I wouldnt like that job full time , but was something different and I enjoyed the bants!

Received a mail 15 mins ago and it brought a tear to my eye, nice to be thanked!

off tomorrow well earned G&T in front of me

SPOILER

[Strewelpeter]

So finally finished off the weekend filling in as Area Leader role. 5 Stores mainly Dublin based.

It deffo consumed my day and evenings and my own sales struggled , however Area 2 us ended up with the top sales in the country .

The satisfaction alone was worth it , but I wouldnt like that job full time , but was something different and I enjoyed the bants!

Received a mail 15 mins ago and it brought a tear to my eye, nice to be thanked!

off tomorrow well earned G&T in front of me

SPOILER

The first one is always free

[Lazare]

Kudos Michelle, that's brilliant.