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Padraig Parkinsons Blog Updates: A TRUE IRISH HERO AND AN “ITALIAN” KAMIKAZE MISSION

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    Padraig Parkinsons Blog Updates: A TRUE IRISH HERO AND AN “ITALIAN” KAMIKAZE MISSION

    Tony Cascarino is a proper Irish hero. A lot of people know him as a poker player, TV pundit and ambassador but we know him as a warrior who wore the Irish soccer jersey with courage, passion and pride. This is particularly commendable as Tony is about as xxxxing Irish as Bin Laden. To be fair, Tony did have an Irish foster mother so that was good enough for him and certainly good enough for us. Never ever let it be said the Irish wasted valuable drinking time on technicalities and, anyway, the Football Association of Ireland guys were usually very busy figuring out where the next junket was coming from.

    The UEFA officials couldn’t mind their own business and were anxious to inspect Tony’s Irish passport which was technically a little difficult as he didn’t have one. After taking shit from the English for 800 years we weren’t going to let the Europeans tell us you had to be Irish to play for Ireland, so next time Cas arrived in Dublin there was a brand new passport waiting for him. Don’t xxxx with the Irish! Years later, when the story appeared in the Irish press, Cascarino’s popularity soared. He is living proof that Irish isn’t a nationality. It’s a state of mind.

    In 2006, Tony was called up to play for Ireland in Partys Football and Poker Legends Cup. Each team was made up of two pros and a footballer. Ireland should have had a huge advantage as Tony could play poker like a pro. Unfortunately, we had a pro who could play poker like a footballer. And did. If you value your life, you will stand well back if you insist on asking Tony what happened.

    Ironically, Cascarino was probably more qualified to play for Italy than anyone who did play for them against Northern Ireland. They were captained by England’s Michael Greko whose Italian credentials were that he’d played a scene in a chip shop in the soap Eastenders. The other pro was Alan Vinson, who qualified as Italian by virtue of the fact that he spent ten hours of his life in Turin when his beloved Tottenham played Juventus. The footballer was a Portuguese speaking South American who allegedly had an Italian ancestor somewhere in his family tree. His credentials as a footballer were even more dubious. He’d had a trial at Barnet. Allegedly! He didn’t enhance his reputation when he fell over a ball in the studio.

    There followed one of the funniest TV heats I’ve ever witnessed from the commentary box. Italy’s captain dived onto his sword in the first pot. Worse news was to follow as it became apparent Italy’s footballer hadn’t a clue what was going on at any stage. He did look quite happy though. During the break, Alan gave his team mate a pep talk which may or may not have helped if they had a common language. Aggressivo was mentioned more than once. The guy crippled Alan almost immediately when he called him down aggressively with 6 high and won! Alan later explained to the viewers that they were from different parts of Italy so they had a communication problem due to dialect issues.

    With Northern Ireland on the verge of defeating Italy for the first time since Dana won the Eurovision song contest, Italy were given one last forlorn glimmer of hope when the footballer was dealt AA. He passed. Don’t ask. I don’t know.





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