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    Only Rounders could get horse racing, cycling and snooker into a restaurant review
    Viva la difference. WP.

    Comment


      Must be something in the air; the Irish Times, the Sunday Times and IPB review Damascus Gate all on the same weekend.

      Rounders kicked Catherine Cleary's ass. And Ernie Whalley's.
      "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

      Comment


        Write a book please.

        Comment


          Has no-one ever reviewed Baan Thai in here?

          Will cast a cold eye on them this evening if not. Grumpy mood too so better be good.
          "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

          Comment


            Originally posted by Gimmeabreak
            Pretty certain that Strewel has reviewed them
            Yea went a couple of times in November and loved it. Like a thai restaurant but just that special bit better.

            I went, for the first time, this evening to Trax brassiere in Naas that you recommended months ago. Very nice meal and super value, excellent steak, eight courses and coffees between three of us for €75.
            Turning millions into thousands

            Comment


              Originally posted by Strewelpeter View Post
              Yea went a couple of times in November and loved it. Like a thai restaurant but just that special bit better.
              Ah OK, didn't see it in the index post. Was well off form it pains me to say. Like 4/10.
              "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

              Comment


                Originally posted by Raoul Duke III View Post
                Must be something in the air; the Irish Times, the Sunday Times and IPB review Damascus Gate all on the same weekend.

                Rounders kicked Catherine Cleary's ass. And Ernie Whalley's.

                And Lucinda O' Sullivan's too after the Sindo reviewed it last Sunday. Sounds like Damascus Gate is quite the experience

                Comment


                  OP updated with reviews from TheDrunkenOne's post Xmas Macca D's visit up to and including Roundereses epic Le Tour

                  Comment


                    Restaurant name: Lady Helen – Mount Juliet
                    Location: Mount Juliet, Thomastown, Co. Kilkenny
                    Website
                    Price range: €€€/€€€€

                    Just before Christmas myself and my wife spotted what looked like a great deal to eat and stay in Mount Juliet, the 1,500 acre estate just outside Thomastown, Co. Kilkenny. Famed for its golf course and home of an impressive stud farm it looked like a nice spot for a short break.

                    The deal was one night dinner & B&B for €99. For an extra €30 or so you could upgrade to stay in the main house rather than a chalet/outlying accommodation which we did.

                    The real clincher though was the dinner. An eight course tasting menu with glass of prosecco and, for €25 extra, matched wines which we also availed of.

                    What unfolded was pleasantly surprising fine dining which was recently awarded a third AA rosette (though I don’t really know the criteria for rosettes it is clearly not far away from a Michelin star and one of our waiters said that was what they were striving for).

                    The menu was:

                    Amuse Bouche w/glass of rose prosecco: Beetroot Macaroon with mackrel pate and pickled cucumber – one little bite of fantastic fishiness in a crispy beetroot meringue sandwich.

                    Another (unscheduled) Amuse Bouche (making it nine courses):Mushroom volute with some kind of baked crisp and Parmesan shavings – light umami loveliness.

                    Red Leg Partridge, Walnut Velouté, Pear William, Confit Leg Cromesquis – beautifully moist partridge with a partridge and foie gras cromesquis (a croquette – I had to ask). My wife’s favourite of the night’s dishes and my second favourite. Lovely balance and great flavour. Presented well.
                    Wine: Casa del Bosque Chardonnay, Casablanca, Chile 2009

                    Middle Course – Beetroot sorbet and blackcurrant jelly. Piquant yet sweet. Great palate refresher.

                    Fillet of Duncannon Turbot, Heritage Carrots, Foie Gras and Beluga Lentils – my fourite dish. Best fish I’ve had in a long time, crisped under a grill most likely and just falling apart on the inside. Don’t thing I’ve ever had beluga lentils before. Nice. Rich seared foie gras topped up a simple, subtle yet profoundly enjoyable dish.
                    Wine: Cline Viognier, California, USA 2010

                    Venison Loin, Muscat Pumpkin, Red Cabbage, Cocoa Nib Granola, Venison Jus – a couple of medium rare rounds of venison loin (slightly smaller than a poker chip each) were perfectly cooked, lean and tasty. Probably a little too much pumpkin for me (quite sweet and it came in a puree as well as a little sort of pickled semi-globe) but the cabbage and cocoa nib granola gave a nice crunchy contrast to the velvety venison. Very nice.
                    Wine: Cotes du Rhône, Cairanne, Domaine Boisson, France 2009

                    Pre-Dessert – Mango jelly, yogurt veloute and powdered green tea – simple, unfussy and fresh. A great idea.

                    Brown Lemon Cream, Goats Curd Parfait, Raspberry Sorbet and Yuzu Gel – almost two separate deserts. Sweet, savoury, fresh and umami all in one. Quite how I don’t know but it was delicious.
                    Wine: Muscat De Beaumes-De-Venise, Paul Jaboulet Aine. France 2007

                    Tea/Coffee & Petit Fours: Mango Pastilles, Blueberry Marshmallow, Milk Chocolate & Hazelnut Feuilletine Poppy Seed Tuile, Pistachio Financier, Coffee Chocolate Lemon Macaroon, Butterscotch Doughnut – almost too much. By this stage (about 2 1/2 hours eating) we were stuffed but we had a bite each of every one and the variety was a real treat at the end of a richly satisfying meal.

                    Why so satisfying? You can walk in off the street and eat this meal for €45 on Thursdays (€65 every other night of the week) and upgrade to the tasting wines for another €25.

                    We both enjoyed this meal MUCH better than our fairly recent trip to L’Ecrivain and it was about one-third of the price. How they’re doing it at that price I don’t know but get it while it's hot (I suppose it already is 'cos its booked out most Thursdays for the next couple of months I think).

                    Additional points awarded for a friendly and unfussy service, a young but very enthusiastic sommelier (the wine was good if not great but at the price point we thought they were more than acceptable, indeed my wife joked with him that the desert wine wasn’t really to her taste and he whipped out a more traditional sauterne-style thing immediately which we thought was a great touch.).

                    The dining room is ornate and atmospheric with a candlelit ‘big house’ drawing room ambience. Perfect.

                    Highly recommended and one to watch. 9/10.
                    Last edited by BennyHiFi; 08-02-13, 21:06.

                    Comment


                      for the poor people.....

                      took wife and 2 kids and mother in law out tonight for a meal.

                      I had confit of duck served on a bed of spicy noodles which was very good. Duck was moist with a crispy skin and noodles were 'hot' but not uncomfortably so and had a nice mix of chopped peppers, sweetcorn and other veg through it

                      Wife and MIL went for char grilled chicken breast with a mushroom and cream sauce served with champ and veg and looked very good and plates were cleared

                      Kids went for chicken fillet nuggets with chunky chips and we ordered an extra portion of nuggets. They also gave them a ketchup bottle ( plastic tomato shaped one) which was appreciated.

                      I had a jameson pre meal and a glass of house red with my meal while wife had a white lemonade, kids 2 cokes by the neck with straws and MIL an iced water.

                      3 desserts were taken. Me a malteser cheesecake with fresh cream, wife a warm chocolate sponge with choc sauce and one of kids had ice cream and jelly

                      total cost was £68 and odd pence for all ( yes, food and drinks!)

                      Nice to know you can still get a good meal at a cheap price and we sat beside an open fire burning logs ...hard to beat

                      gave a £12 tip ....was gonna give £7 but they had no fivers lol

                      OH the place BTW if you are up these parts

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by careca View Post
                        Only Rounders could get horse racing, cycling and snooker into a restaurant review
                        Viva la difference. WP.
                        ...and An Evil Cradling too!

                        Fair play to Damascus Gate's owner, he's engaged in a 10-year battle to secure Irish citizenship. Sounds like a cultured fella too, likes the bukes.



                        Thanks for the write-up, Rounders. Look forward to giving it a spin.
                        Jack Carvill's offie a few doors up the road > SPAR for the vino tho!

                        Comment


                          Restaurant name: Shanaghans on the Green
                          Location: St. Stephens Green, D2

                          Website: http://www.shanahans.ie
                          Price range: €€€/€€€€

                          You know we don't open for lunch any day but Friday, sir offered the hostess.
                          I didn't really know how to take this little gem of information so quipped "Well it's lucky for me it's Friday".
                          I tried not to sound like a dickhead, I really did but failed miserably.
                          Perhaps this was a cunning acid test of the clientele but what really unsettled me was the warmth of the reception after my comment.
                          The staff gave each other a knowing smile as if to say "It's OK,everyone chill out..he's a dickhead".

                          After I was ushered to the downstairs bar it became apparent that this was no ordinary eatery.
                          Having worked in hospitality for more years than I'd like to remember I know only too well the manic signs of obsession exercised by high end joints.
                          The carpet was hoover to Wimbledon lawn precision. I mean there was a uniform hoover pattern for Gods sake.
                          I would have loved to see the hoovering instructional chapter in the SOP manual.
                          Actually screw the manual. I would have loved to see the poor guy moonwalking the hoover across the carpet to cover his tracks!

                          Although the bar was empty at 12:45 you could see that it was highly maintained.Everything was laid out to precission.
                          Tables and chairs at a 90 degree angle, Napkins on bar at a 90 Degree angle to the wall, Hand towels in bathroom reverse folded at a 90 degree angle to the wash basin.
                          A quick trip to the gents confirmed that the owners of Shanahans suffered severely from OCD. I was impressed.

                          My company arrived and we took our table. Within roughly 1.66 seconds of opening the menu I had blown my cover as a peasant.
                          A €48 (unaccompanied) steak was enough for me to expel an involentary wheeze/cough combination.

                          My fellow diner instantly sensed my discomfort and pointed me in the direction of the set menu at a more reasonable €50 for 3 courses.
                          It's amazing how €50 for 3 courses looks like amazing value when you've just seen the A la Carte offering.

                          I started with the Oak Smoked Irish Salmon with a Giant Blini, Créme Fraíche and Caviar. The Blini was gently warmed and there was a generous but not obscene
                          serving of caviar.

                          Main consisted of Petit Filet (6oz) Steak with Creamed Spinach and French Fried Onions. Possibly the best cooked steak I've ever eaten.
                          My brave comerade chose the New York Strip Sirloin (8oz / 227g) which instantly supplied me with overwhelming food envy.
                          The house Syrah (Which I was earlier informed was allowed to sit for 30 mins before service) was an excellent accompaniment to our mains.

                          Desert came in the form of Pavé of White and Dark Chocolate, Winter Berries and Whiskey Sabayon which was a rare treat.

                          By this time we had broken into a most enjoyable game of Bastards and Legends.
                          I'd name a personality on the scene who would be accurately described as a Bastard or a Legend. Full marks to my accomplice, he's quite the sage.

                          I pittied the other diners. While we were there to have a bit of banter the other diners were busy weaving webs to each other to secure property deals.
                          The Haw,Haw Haw laughter at jokes with no punchline, The uneasy fumbling of misused cutlery.
                          One poor fucker beside our table looked like a dog at mass..Delighted to be around people but not a clue what all the pomp and ceremony was about.
                          He dropped his servette before communion and when the waiter asked him if he would like another I half expected him say "Another servette? No you're grand. I'm full"

                          Bill including 2 x set menus, Bottled Water, 3 x glasses of wine and a Gin & Tonic came to €170.
                          It was the best lunch I've ever eaten in Dublin.
                          Thank fuck they're only open on a Friday for lunch.
                          Thank fuck he insisted in paying..
                          Last edited by iSnow; 11-02-13, 14:08.

                          Comment


                            moar info on bastards and legends.
                            X can be anything, any number, that is what’s CRAZY about X.
                            Because X doesn’t roll like that, because X can’t be pinned down!

                            $ Free Travel Credit with Airbnb $

                            Comment


                              Excellent work. Thread needs more iSnow imo
                              "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by The-Rigger View Post
                                moar info on bastards and legends.

                                Can't really describe it here without upsetting some peeps. Suggest we take up the matter at chefs table

                                Comment


                                  Like a dog at Mass...
                                  Turning millions into thousands

                                  Comment


                                    Restaurant Name: The Cedar Tree

                                    Location: Andrew Street, Dublin 2

                                    Website: None, menupages link here

                                    Price Range: €€\€€€

                                    Review:

                                    A last minute invite into town for pints\food on Saturday night did not fill me with optimism, full as the city was with rugby-shirted sons of Albion awaiting the battle the following afternoon. Sure enough, I met my dining companion and we began a trek around town that became a succession of "do you have a table for two?"\"LOL, no" encounters. Until we walked past the twin eateries of Als Steakhouse and the Cedar Tree on Wicklow Street. "You know, I've never actually paid for a meal in here" mused the companion as we stood in the doorway. This is due to our longstanding friendship with the eponymous Al, whose uncle owns both places, and who used to feed the companion in the back alley for free in the penurious days of stundenthood in the 1990s. Al is long departed these shores but we agreed that a moral debt was due and we should endeavour to repay it with our custom. We decided upon the Cedar Tree as the preferred alternative, marched in and were duly shown to a table in a busy room decorated with mosaics depicting idealised scenes of Lebanese cedars, snowy peaks and Mediterranean beaches. Which is all very nice until you consider that a third of the population fled in a vicious sectarian civil war in the 70s\80s. God (or Allah) knows how, or indeed why, they ended up in Dublin in the 1970s but the Cedar Tree was the result, surely a most exotic addition to the dreary dining scene of those days.

                                    Back to the present; I enquired as to what beers they had and was told 'only Heineken' which was disappointing but at least simplified the ordering process. I ordered two and headed for the jacks, telling the companion he was in charge of food. When I returned, I enquired as to what he had ordered. "Ah, you know. Stuff", was the response. This unpromising riposte did not fill me with anticipation but upon inspection of our fellow diners, my hopes began to rise as the tables were generally heaped with small bowls of mezze. I don't claim to be any sort of an expert on Middle Eastern food and most of what I have eaten has been outside these shores but I do very much approve of the general theme, which seems to be 'lots of grub, shared plates, good hospitality'. The other diners seemed to be greatly enjoying themselves and there was much hugging and kissing of the various floor staff by patrons who were obviously well-acquainted with the Cedar Tree's charms. This most un-Irish ambience was very pleasant and I'd love to see more of it - unfortunately we don't really do neighbourhood restauarants here as they do in other countries.

                                    The grub arrived in short order and at least a dozen small bowls were piled onto our small table together with a platter of the ubiquitous flatbread. Table real estate was perilously lacking as we inspected the various offerings; tabbouleh (a zingy mint-laden salad), baba ganoush (smoked aubergine paste), hummous, olives, garlic mushrooms, small spicy sausages in an intense tomato sauce, sambousek lamb (minced lamb in a kind of pastry pie), mouhammara (a spicy pepper dip), falafel, fatayer spinach and a few other quare yokes. We horsed the lot with a couple more beers and then berated ourselves for our foolishness in not ordering a bottle of the legendary Lebanese wine, Chateau Musar. This is a Bordeaux-style red blend but of more significance is the history of the winery itself - situated in the Bekkaa Valley, the estate was surrounded by thousands of heavily armed Islamic militants for a couple of decades. The accomodations they made with the madmen of Hezbollah, the PLO, Amal etc can only be wondered at and the wine should be drunk whenever encountered.

                                    All of the mezze were excellent, with the zing of lemon and eastern spices (i.e. non-chili) that I always associate with Eastern Mediterranean cuisine. It's not fine dining by any means but it is both satisfying and healthy-tasting stuff that ticks all the right boxes. We emptied the last mezze dish with a sigh, sat back and contemplated the wreckage of the table. "Jaysis, I couldn't ate another sausage" I remarked sagely. It was then that our waitress came by with a beaming smile. "You are ready for your main course now?" she enquired with what was no doubt a beaming smile but looked to me like a deathly grimace. "Main....Course?" I demanded of the companion who shrugged guiltily and called for more beer. The main course landed more swiftly than either of us would have liked and turned out to be some kind of lamb in harissa sauce, ensconced in a flatbread pitta-type effort with a side salad. We managed to eat about half of it in our defence, it was perfectly acceptable but not a patch on the mezze. We pondered the strange popularity and consequent unpopularity of various Middle Eastern cuisines, despite them all being essentially the same thing ("Lebanese - nice people, although crazy." "Israelis - self-righteous wankers". etc). The companion then dropped a bombshell upon me of a personal nature and, to cope with the momentary discomfort, I ordered two araks. Arak\Raki\Ouzo is another staple of the Eastern Med, a cloudy aniseed-based spirit that will remove any last vestige of sense from any man foolish enough to treat it lightly. I still treasure fond memories of a friend in Turkey who challenged a waiter to a raki-drinking contest. After about three shots, the waiter kept interchanging places with his identical fellow waiters until our clueless hero fell face-forward into the remains of his baklava. They didn't rule over half the known world for nothing, them lads. In any case, our araks were about triple shots and we downed them gingerly. The meal was rounded out with authentic Lebanese coffees.

                                    It was at this point that things started to get weird. We had the bit between our teeth as regards drinking and called for the bill. Our waitress adopted an expression of extreme sadness and leaned in close; "do you not want to wait for the belly dancer? She'll be on in a minute". These words filled me with dread, some of my most deeply-suppressed memories involve being forced to dance with larger-than-life ladies who should really not ever be allowed to remove their outer garments. In any case, the waitress solved the impasse by simply ignoring our request for the bill until the lights went down, the music went up and the belly dancer appeared to much catcalling from some Engerlish rugby fans. She certainly had an impressive belly and wobbled her bits to good effect around the room until we finally managed to lasso the waitress and escape this lewd Levantine lubriciousness with damage of €90 for two. We hit the Stags Head where we discovered Galway Hooker on draught. Cue many calls for 'two hookers please'.

                                    The Cedar Tree is informal, friendly and serves up an excellent representation of a cuisine that has generally been overlooked in Ireland. Just steer clear of the arak.

                                    7.5/10
                                    "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                    Comment


                                      Restaurant Name: The Heliot Restaurant

                                      Location: Cranbourn Street, Leicester Square, WC2H 7JH London

                                      Website: None, http://www.hippodromecasino.com/heliot

                                      Price Range: €€\€€€
                                      review: Breakfast of Champions


                                      Some background on events.
                                      I'd been trying to introduce this cunning plan into my repertoire for about 10 years but had neither reason nor opportunity to unleash it until last week.
                                      I freely admit to plagiarizing this plan, a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it.

                                      While in charge of the "bust-out" bar at the Irish Open during the Merrion days a young rapscallion bridge player came knocking on the door of the Salon Privee.
                                      He looked disheveled to say the least. Any chance of a drink? He queried.
                                      I explained that the bar was only available to players who had been eliminated from the main event.

                                      Utterly deflated he said "I know, I'm out,is there any chance of a drink?"
                                      Sensing the impending bad beat story I quickly poured him a large vodka and coke which he consumed at breakneck speed.
                                      I poured another which he similarly destroyed , all the while shaking his head in disbelief.
                                      Adhering to professional etiquette I daren't ask him what horrible mathematical injustice he had just suffered and poured him another.

                                      I found out later he had not yet been eliminated and had tried similar tactics on several of my colleagues.
                                      When he approached me again I told him to just take the damn bottle.

                                      So I found myself in a London Casino last week waiting on a poker game at 8am. I'd just arrived, sleepless, and check in was not until Noon.
                                      I did a lap of honour around the casino floor and slithered up to the closed VIP bar in character, shaking my head in disbelief.
                                      Can I help you sir? asked the manager. Not unless you have a miracle in your pocket...Actually what are the chances of getting a drink around here?
                                      It's been a very long night.

                                      He pondered momentarily then scurried behind the bar and asked me what I'd like. G&T please my good man. Actually better make it a large one.
                                      At any sign of him trying to engage me in conversation I just shook my head in disbelief.
                                      When it looked like he was about to leave I offered a vague statement along the lines of "Why do we do it?" all the while shaking my head.
                                      It was now 9:30,I had 4 X Large G&T's on top of a nights wine and was sensing my welcome had been outstayed.
                                      I queried if they served food at this hour as I had better eat something before hitting the tables again. Genius, If I do say so myself!
                                      And then I saw it..Beckoning me like a siren to my coronary doom.

                                      **** House special, the Hippodrome Shooters Sandwich. ****

                                      So called due to its construction of convenience. You see it originated during the Edwardian Period in Great Britain.
                                      The night before a shooting party Downton Abbeyesque culinary assistants would scoop out the bread from small loaves.
                                      They'd fill the inards with roast beef, onions, Dijon mustard, horseradish and wild mushrooms.
                                      Overnight the sandwich was left to rest under weights to compress it to a convenient size to slip into a shooters satchel.
                                      The Hippodrome twist was to served it with picalilly (Which tastes of pickle and hatred with undertones of neglect)
                                      On the same plate was a shot of Bloody Mary complete with a miniature celery stick.

                                      Between the Gin, Dijon, Horseradish and tomato juice you would think I'd be sick, right.
                                      Far from it. This truly was the breakfast of champions. I felt like I could take on anything the day had to throw at me.

                                      If you're ever in London please try one of these.

                                      I ordered another larger G&T to wash it down, brushed off my jacket and composed myself.
                                      "Right, lets do this" I menaced to the manager before marching down the stairs and straight out the front door.
                                      It was 11 am.

                                      Comment


                                        Originally posted by Raoul Duke III View Post
                                        Excellent work. Thread needs more iSnow imo
                                        .
                                        "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                        Comment


                                          Fantastic stuff iSnow
                                          I hold silver in tit for tat, and I love you for that

                                          Comment


                                            Great stuff iSnow

                                            If the Shooter Sandwich sounds familiar to anyone, you probably remember a fine contribution to the recipe thread by DeadParrots

                                            Comment


                                              excellent post dude.
                                              Reminds me, I must make one of those again soon
                                              People say I should be more humble I hope they understand, they don't listen when you mumble
                                              Get a shiny metal Revolut card! And a free tenner!
                                              https://revolut.com/referral/jamesb8!G10D21

                                              Comment


                                                Restaurant Name:les gourmandises

                                                Location: Cook Steet, cork

                                                Website: http://www.d1047337.blacknight.com/lesgourmandises/

                                                Price Range: €€\€€€


                                                Booked this as I was going to Cork for the UKIPT and bringing the wife, it also had some great reviews on trip advisor. It won best restaurtant and best best chef in cork in 2012 so we decided to give it a go.

                                                Got a special deal as it was valintines day. €55 each for a 3 courser and a glass of champagne.

                                                First impesssions were that this was a new enough restaurant with ab bit to learn if it was going to get a michelin star. The staff at the entrance were a little hap hazzared - there was no-one really to meet and great us. a waitress led us to our table - it has to be be said that she never offered to take our coats and left us to our seats with no offer to take my wife's coat or to help with it.

                                                We were given the wine list and menu - not a bad menu but he wine list was a load of old shit. It started with an 'index' which stated that pages 1-3 were wines costing less than €35, the other 4 pages were reserved for wines that either weren't available or too few/obscure to be ordererd.

                                                the menue looked okay - nothing too fancy - I elected to go for the starter tasting platter and the wife got the Monkfish beignets. Both were outstanding. Highlitght for me was my fois gras and pork cheek terrine. the artichoke soup was really good too.

                                                For mains we both ordersd the chef market choice which was guinea fowl with a fodant potato and some gamey jus. - - It was really good. although it wasnt really a fondant potato as it was a stacked potato - but still really nice.

                                                We didnt get dessert but instead got a selection of french cheeses and some port. The port was really nice - and the cheese were a good selsection - not the usual brie/camembert. Not enough crackers though - which unfortunatly were just walls melts. This was a pity - I would have liked some either artisan/home made crackers for my nice cheese.

                                                All in all it was €140 for two - which I thought was okay because the food was outstanding. Still a little way to go untill a star arrives I think....

                                                Comment


                                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

                                                  In Cork with the wife & in-laws till Sunday, might give this place a bash tomorrow so. TY.

                                                  Comment


                                                    Will update the OP later this afternoon, more top class offerings to be added, wp all.

                                                    Comment


                                                      Restaurant Name: Johnny Foxes

                                                      Location: Glencullen
                                                      Website: http://www.jfp.ie/
                                                      Price Range: €€\€€€

                                                      Review:


                                                      I mean I'm no oil painting myself but give me a fucking break.
                                                      If I ordered pan fried Halibut and was served oven baked Hake I'd send it back.
                                                      Why should internet dating be any different?

                                                      I once did an in-house wine course with Oddbins where we happened upon some sub standard wines.
                                                      We were told never to describe a wine as either shit or tasting like piss.
                                                      Instead, to avoid hurting the feelings of the winemaker, we were instructed to describe them as "interesting".

                                                      So on a wet Saturday in February I find myself high (as in altitude) in the Dublin mountains with a girl I'd only just 24 hours previously become aquainted.
                                                      Her style and appearance could only be described as..interesting.
                                                      Just another reason why online is so much better than live gaming.

                                                      Of course I'd only found this out AFTER making arrangements to go to lunch with her in Johnny Foxes.
                                                      Diners and internet daters please note that Johnny Foxes is not the most ideal of places to bring an untested vessel.
                                                      You've got to commit to the duration and should you spring a leak there's virtually no hope of jumping ship due to the location.
                                                      You have to make your mind up quickly in these situations.
                                                      Should I put in the effort and hope she magically transforms into Emma Stone after I have consumed copious amounts of alcohol?
                                                      Should I give her an out and try to revolt her to the point she jumps ship early, benefits from the moral highground and everyone leaves with their dignity intact?
                                                      Which ever plan I was going with had to be executed like a gentleman. I'd committed to this at least.

                                                      So not wishing to commit to either plan quite just yet, but leaving the possibilities open for both, I ordered a large Captain Morgans and coke.
                                                      Her weapon of choice was Malibu & Coke. I'll never understand women. Malibu is nothing but the exotic bastard cousin of fortified wine.
                                                      Would you ever walk into a bar and ask for a shot of Buckfast topped up with coke?

                                                      I've got to say I find Johnnys charming.
                                                      I'd not been there in a few years but consider it, aside from the plastic Paddy vibe, to be one of Dublins most pleasant locations.
                                                      The sawdust on the floor almost invites violence or perhaps that was the Captain talking.
                                                      So greeted and seated we receive our menus. After puruseing the starter section it was clear which plan I was going to commit.

                                                      I ordered two starters, the Escargot and the Frogs legs.
                                                      The latter providing me with a blank canvass upon which to peddle my recently acquired amputee jokes.

                                                      * It was dishes like these that had brought the culinary world to its knees.
                                                      * Why they insisted on placing such traditionally French fare on an otherwise Irish menu left me stumped
                                                      * Garcon, another large Captains and coke but just the one more mind, I don't want to be...legless.
                                                      In keeping with her exotic theme She ordered Soup of the Day which was mushroom.
                                                      The last time I'd eaten mushrooms at Johnny Foxes...Well that's another story.

                                                      For Main, after being informed that both the crocodile and the kangaroo were off limits, I settled for their signiture dish, Diablo Mahi-Mahi.(Devilfish)
                                                      If nothing else at least I could bore her into submission by incorporating a tale involving Dave Ulliott into the conversation.
                                                      It was unfortunate that neither my Mick Dundee nor my Skippy impressions got to see the light of day but you win some you lose some I guess.
                                                      She ventured for the Braised Lamb Shank “So tender it can be eaten with a spoon"
                                                      I jokingly bet her a euro she couldn't eat it with a spoon and the fucking troll obliged.
                                                      I didn't know where to look.

                                                      "Your very a adventurous eater" offered herself.
                                                      I wondered if this was a euphemism for "You eat like a tinker and will consume any old shite".
                                                      I'm wondering now if there is a similarly written review whos opening paragraph ended in "instead of calling him a tinker we were instructed to describe him as adventurous".

                                                      The service in Johnnys is scary in that I don't know if they actually are stuck in the 1980's or are so far advanced that they can easily recreate a 80's feel.
                                                      More Captains should help me work this one out. Garcon, more Captains at once.
                                                      I mean the horrid odour of old woman, sweat and talc was genuine. You can't just make that shit up.
                                                      When she placed the food on the table she said "Now"..no description or witty comments about amputee frogs just "Now".
                                                      Yup the service was indeed stuck in the 1980's. This may have been by design though so I'm not too sure how I feel about it just yet.

                                                      It may have been the Captain speaking or a bout of altitude sickness but strange words began to pass my lips.
                                                      "So, tell me all about the world of accountancy" asked nobody ever I asked.
                                                      To be honest I knew enough about the world of accountancy that I knew I didn't want to know.
                                                      But aside from the company, the conversation and the service the food was actually good.
                                                      The escargot were served in their shells without too much garlic. The frogs legs were not at all rubbery.
                                                      The Mahi-Mahi, and I hear this too often in shoddy reviews, actually had the consistency of delicate chicken.
                                                      The accompanying sauce should be available in an alcoholic version on tap as a digestif.
                                                      Bill, begrudgingly including service, came to €130 which included a generous splash of the Captain.

                                                      So, exit strategy time..
                                                      She was actually too ugly to leave by herself.
                                                      Fearing she would end up the focus of a crime investigation show if I left her up the mountain I decided to accompany her back to civilisation.
                                                      I could see the crimeline headlines..last seen in the Dublin mountains drinking exotic fortified wine and coke with a pintsize stranger.
                                                      I steered the conversation towards amazing cocktails like the bastard that I am.
                                                      No really, it's the best blue martini you've ever had but don't take my word for it.
                                                      Let us depart to TGI's in Dundrum so you can evaluate my boastings.
                                                      An hour in TGI's with me and this little cupcake, or her liver, would be begging for mercy.

                                                      So after an hour in TGI's we went our seperate ways but not before I threw the lips on her.
                                                      "Interesting" I thought as I boarded the Luas.

                                                      Comment


                                                        Isnow that was so funny!! would love a night on the beer with you

                                                        I reckon this whole thread could be released in a book and would be a number 1 seller, its getting better and better !

                                                        Its like one is trying to out do the other here and it works well.
                                                        Her sky-ness
                                                        © 5starpool

                                                        Comment


                                                          Latest batch of reviews added to OP. Up to review number 70 now, wp all. Love seeing a new post in this thread - not to be read on an empty stomach mind

                                                          Comment


                                                            Two brilliant reviews from isnow. Poor girl though lol

                                                            Comment


                                                              Rounders continually makes reference to 'the brother'

                                                              Could iSnow be him?
                                                              "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                                              Comment


                                                                Restaurant Name: jacques restaurant

                                                                Location: Cork

                                                                Website: http://www.jacquesrestaurant.ie/

                                                                Price Range: €€\€€€



                                                                After busting out of the UKIPT and playing cash for a couple of hours, I rang the wife to let her know that I was on the way back to her and to get herself dolled up as we were going out to eat.

                                                                It was Saturday night and we'd nothing booked but we thought we'd head out and wander around until we saw something we liked. After about thirty minutes of wandering - I was getting cranky and just wanted to stop anywhere. We mulled around outside The Pembroke - but I was concernd at the amount of empty tables and the fact that the ones that were full were full of the blue rinse brigade. Looked like a meat/two veg and gravy type of place. I decided we'd have one more little stroll before giving in. What a great lay down that was because just down a small side street I spotted an sign for Jacques. I'd seen a couple few good things said on here and on trip advisor.

                                                                It was still early enough - about 7.30pm, so we just missed the early bird, but we chanced out arm. "We're just chancing our arm" I said to the hostess. "Any chance of a table for two?" After a bit of perusing the bookings, she said she had "this table right here - but we have abother booking at 9.00pm- - can you finish by then?". Gift.

                                                                Service was swift and very pleasent. I elected for the crab pasta with lemon chilli black pepper & a touch of cream to start and the wife had the poached pear in red wine, cashel blue cheese*& caramel walnuts. Both were outstadning. I initally thought the pasta was going to be a bit dry by how it lookled - but it was perfect.

                                                                We did order a nice bottle of really sweet white wine, but when we had guzzeled it down half way through our starter and were informed that that was the last bottle - we were not impressed. - we orderd some other bottle - don't know what it was but wasn't as nice.

                                                                FOr mains, the wofe wanted the pheasant but was told that the last one had just gone. That was two for two, she want' in the best mood now, maybe her Rack of free range pork, red cabbage, granny smith & dijon musatrd would calm her down. I orderd the fresh castletownbere scallops ,cauliflower textures & gubeen chirizo. Her's was huge - looked like a dinosaur cut and she remarked that it was similar to a pork shop you could just do at home. My scallops were great - just not enough of them.

                                                                Instead of dessert we got the cheeses and a glass of port. The figs and bisquits that accompainied were great.

                                                                Jacques is a great little restaurant and barring the lack of things we ordered (I think we were just unlucky) it was a great success. Very good food (IMO) and a really nice atmosphere. We were fairly jarred leaving as we had drunk a fair bit. I blame that for the rest of the evening's messing. Can't quite remember the bill - but i think it was about €140 for the two of us. Plenty of booze included - well worth it.

                                                                WP Jacques, VWP.

                                                                Comment


                                                                  Restaurant Name: King Sitric

                                                                  Location: Howth

                                                                  Website: here

                                                                  Price Range: €€€\€€€€

                                                                  Review:

                                                                  With the hard part of going out done (i.e. booking the babysitter), Mrs Duke and I turned our attention to the pleasant task of booking a table for Saturday night. Middle of February, everyone broke - should be easy, right? Not a bit of it, everywhere in town was full to the rafters. It was like 2005 all over again. Valentines Day overspill apparently. A smart move by the punters concerned in my opinion, there is nothing more conducive to feelings of violent misanthropy than the sight of a 'special' Valentines Day menu (complete with 'special' price tag) and couples valiantly trying to persuade themselves that they're having the requisite quantity of public romance. It's a bit like a dentist visit, unpleasant for all parties and leaves you with a pain in your mouth and your wallet.

                                                                  In any case, I eventually secured seating at the King Sitric in Howth and, leaving the nervous teenage babysitter to her fate ('what do I do if they wake up?'), we abandoned the homestead and DARTed to Howth without further ado. The King Sitric is one of those places we've been putting off visiting ever since moving to the Northside, situated at the distant end of Howth ('beside the public jacks' as Mrs Duke observed accurately), you have to make an extra effort to get there and despite its reputation as a purveyor of top-notch seafood, the cheaper and more cheerful places on the quay usually win out. Not this time however. We marched down the length of Howth town, pursued by a fairly vicious wind and took refuge in the restaurant. Or at least we tried to but got stuck in the bar area which was rather packed with people who seemed to be liberally having the craic. We eventually negotiated our way through the throng and found our way up the stairs to the dining room where we were greeted effusively by the hostess and shown to a decent-sized table by the window. I imagine there must be good views in the daytime but in the stygian gloom of a February night there wasn't much of interest so we perused the menu instead.

                                                                  You can dine off set dinner menus (€37 for three courses, €44 for four) or else go a la carte. As there wasn't anything too interesting (I was hoping for turbot but was denied) on the a la carte, we decided to save some bucks and go for the set. Upon ordering, we made an interesting discovery - not one of the wait staff was younger than us and in fact all were considerably older, by at least two decades. One poor auld lad looked as though he'd escaped from the local retirement home as he clattered around like a pig on ice skates. We debated whether this was a good thing or not and considered that it did display a heartening loyalty on the part of both aged retainers and the management. It's so rare to see anyone over the age of thirty wielding a plate in an Irish restaurant that this was indeed a notable phenomenon and a serious contrast to the likes of Italy or France where aged waiters are the norm and rule their dining room like wrinkled Ceasars, sneering at the tourists awkward attempts to pronounce the menu. Which is exactly as it should be. The ancient mariner took our orders and took off at an impressive pace. The conversation turned to Shakespeare (I'd like to say 'as it so often does' but that would be a lie) as we were discussing when to go in and see King Lear in the Abbey. Mrs Duke mentioned that she really enjoyed the production of Hamlet that we had seen there before. Now, Mrs Duke has many fine qualities but an intimate knowledge of Shakespeare is not one of them. 'We've never seen Hamlet in the Abbey' sez I. 'Sure we have, you know, the one with the witches'. Sigh. That'd be Macbeth I rejoined and, to back up my argument, loudly quoted 'how now, you secret, black and midnight hags!'. This may have been at a few decibels above optimium as the trio of wizened hags at the next table glared at me in unison. Not a pretty sight. I resolved to keep my bardic blether to myself.

                                                                  Luckily food began arriving. I had scallops with, somewhat alarmingly, 'sausages made from our own pig, Babe'. I can say that Babe did not perish in vain as the sausage was magnificent and complemented the scallops beautifully. Mrs Duke had the oysters and was somewhat carping (fish pun alert) about them, saying they were below standard. I tried one for comparison purposes and it seemed fine to me but what do I know, I just do the jokes. I somewhat greedily ordered the lobster bisque to try in between starter and main, it was adequate to the task but leagues removed from the version you would find in most French restaurants. The geriatric waiter arrived with our mains to general befuzzlement as he plonked a steak in front of me. I had to admit it looked delectable but it was a far cry from the hake I had ordered. Hake\Steak - probably not easy for antiquated ears to process. After a short interlude, the correct dishes landed. Hake in a cider and cream sauce for me and a deconstructed sort of fish pie yoke for Mrs Duke. I had made a similar meal for the family from a Spanish cookbook recently and this knocked the socks off my amateur efforts, perfectly cooked fish sitting in a pool of complex creaminess. Mrs Duke was less impressed with her selection and observed, correctly, that you get a much nicer version down at the Oar House. A bottle of Muscadet was a suitable companion from a well-chosen wine list. The service was generally well paced and professional, barring the hearing malfunction and the room had a lovely relaxed vibe to it that more places would do well to emulate. For dessert, I went for the cheeseboard and was impressed to see a 100% Irish selection, with seven well-chosen cheeses perfectly presented. A glass of LBV port on the side washed it all down nicely. Yet again, Mrs D fared less well with her plum tart. Coffee was decent and the petits fours that accompanied it finished me off nicely for the evening. The damage was €135 plus €15 tip to Save the Aged and we left after a pleasant enough, yet not spectacular evening. There are places doing more exciting things with fish in Howth and certainly at keener prices. We shall return when we're able to address the waiter as 'young man'.

                                                                  7/10
                                                                  "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                                                  Comment


                                                                    Restaurant Name: Yamamori Sushi

                                                                    Location: 38-39 Lower Ormond Quay, Dublin

                                                                    Website: http://www.yamamorisushi.ie/

                                                                    Price Range: €€\€€€

                                                                    Review:


                                                                    Not one to be dismayed I cast my rod into the...oh no, reverse! I cast my LINE back into the world of internet dating hoping for a more favorable outcome.
                                                                    Be careful what you wish for. This weeks effort was a dinger!!
                                                                    Actually much more than a dinger. She was ridiculously hot. My initial instincts were to scan the lower chin for signs of 'Pommes D'Adam'.
                                                                    The initial inspection proved inconclusive so my attention was directed towards her large hands.
                                                                    The Jury was still out but even if she was a female for the whole of her life the fact was that I was punching above my weight.

                                                                    I'd rather punch below my weight for two reasons.

                                                                    A.) If you blindly bring a mutt to supper your fellow diners should immediately recognise your unfortunate situation, acknowledge your humanitarian efforts
                                                                    and you may very well end up trading up to some naughty bohemian type before the night is over.

                                                                    B.) If you do end up dining out with a super model you must also realise that we live in a bregrudging country.
                                                                    Irish people hate to see anyone happier than they are. Entrepreneurs become 'shady crooked bastards', Financial advisors become 'thieving c#nts' and
                                                                    ridiculously hot blind dates instantly become prostitutes.

                                                                    So on a Saturday evening I find myself sipping a Lychee Martini with my recently acquired Asian Escort. She wasn't an escort obviously, I think.
                                                                    Yamamori Sushi was the destination. As I braved the Ha'Penny Bridge I took a deep breath.
                                                                    The last time I'd been on the Nothside may have been the IPO and it terrified me even then. The pestillence, hatred and constant smell of refuse.
                                                                    The people smelled of chips and armies of poorly attired drug addicts patrolled the Quays looking for their next 'fix'.
                                                                    It reminded me of a violent video game, whos name escapes me, in which one gains kudos for the theft of automobiles.

                                                                    I'd been practicing my Chopstick dexterity all week with the aid of a bowl of wine corks and had now honed my new skill to a Mr. Miyagi standard.
                                                                    If you're looking for a set of chopsticks to practice with then look no further than your local Chinese takeaway which should be a fixture in every Irish town.

                                                                    For starters we shared a mixed platter of sushi.
                                                                    It's a little known fact that sushi is a natural contraceptive as no bitch will come near you after a feed of it.
                                                                    Expertly rolled of course my favourite was the Seabass and Octopus.
                                                                    I can't really say much more about the Sushi.
                                                                    The service was one of the best I've received in Dublin and THE best at this price range.
                                                                    The waitress played into my subterfuge excellently by offering me a knife and fork.
                                                                    There's something wrong about eating Sushi with a fork. After two pieces I tore open the chopsticks much to the delight of my fellow diner.

                                                                    Select facial expression -----> Four years old and riding a bike without stabilisers for the first time ----> Apply.

                                                                    By this time I'd attracted a few gawks from a nearby table who golf clapped when the first morsel passed my lips.
                                                                    I'm such a fucking show pony I lapped it up.
                                                                    She really changed her tune after that and began to warm to me.

                                                                    For main I opted for the Seafood Ramen which was mediocre. Wagamamma have a much more robust offering for the same price.
                                                                    While there was an abundance of seafood in the dish the accompanying broth was rather bland.
                                                                    A combination of sake and Lychee Martinis loosened my tongue enough to ask some very telling questions.
                                                                    No she didn't like football and no she never played it at school.
                                                                    I tried to trip her up by asking her about her siblings but either she was always a woman or she had this little rhyme well rehearsed.
                                                                    I thought that asking her if she is now, or has ever been, the proud owner of a penis would be too bold.

                                                                    I can't remember what she ate but it looked like a bag of mess.
                                                                    It's worth noting that our mains came at different time as traditionally they serve it as it's cooked.
                                                                    Just a cultural difference that can be wrongly mistaken for a kitchen glitch.

                                                                    The artwork was pretty cool but the hipster population was bordering on intollerable.
                                                                    Before we finished up I decided to wow her with my Haiku poem entitled "Facing another Week"

                                                                    "Monday morning.....Fear,
                                                                    No,No,No,No,No,No,No,
                                                                    Just five minutes....more"

                                                                    Bill including drinks and tip came to a reasonable €160.
                                                                    She wants to do round two next week but I'm in between two minds.
                                                                    Would asking for a birth certificate be considered rude?
                                                                    Last edited by iSnow; 28-02-13, 20:51.

                                                                    Comment


                                                                      Went here lastnight, it was fantastic, probably the best meal I've had in Ireland.

                                                                      Originally posted by elbows View Post
                                                                      Restaurant Name: The Greenhouse

                                                                      Location: Dawson St

                                                                      Website: http://www.thegreenhouserestaurant.ie

                                                                      Price Range: €€€€€

                                                                      Review:

                                                                      This happened over a week ago so I might be a bit sketchy on the details but I have some pics of the goodies so I will give it a go. (balls photos are too big any suggestions let me know, freaked now)

                                                                      7 of us arrived at The Greenhouse for our 5 course tasting menu at 7 (1 of the group was running late). We were promptly seated and we were asked if we wanted a drink. A few beers to start while we waited as we were getting the wine with the tasting menu. There was a strong odour of cheese as the cheese board selection was directly behind me and a little off putting, even though I do like a good pungent smelling cheese.

                                                                      Finally our 8th arrived and we got down to business. A selection of canapes arrived which were devoured and on the whole very tasty. (no pics only thought of the pics after the 1st course).

                                                                      1st wine arrived and the sommelier (a real dub) went through the decision for choosing the wine (an alsace gerwurtztraimer) with the SEARED HAND DIVED SCALLOPS, PUMPKIN, TRUFFLE, CHANTERELLE and GINGER starter.

                                                                      [ATTACH]1557[/ATTACH]

                                                                      This was sublime, perfectly cooked scallops and a taste sensation. My only gripe was the wine was a little sweet for the starter. (Had a similar dish in mint and a reisling worked much better with it)

                                                                      Round 2

                                                                      2nd "wine" arrived it was actually an english cider which complemented the second course perfectly ROAST FOIE GRAS, WILD MUSHROOM BROTH, PICKLED SHIMEJI, EEL & APPLE TOAST. Best Fois Gras dish I have ever had, I licked the bowl it came in.

                                                                      Round 3

                                                                      3rd wine was a delightful pinot noir but didn't bring the fish course to life. Mind you the dish was fantastic. GLAZED Cod, CAULIFLOWER, Smoked Octopus, PARMESAN, SEA VEGETABLES (need the pics sorry)

                                                                      Round 4

                                                                      Firstly the winebox in which the deer would be smoked was shown to us. Anyone who saw the masterchef where he smoked the pigeon will know how the chef does it.

                                                                      4th wine arrived, Big and Bold Northern Spanish Red went perfectly with the main hay Smoked YOUNG SIKA DEER Fillet and Deer Sausage, JERUSALEM ARTICHOKE, BONE MARROW, LIQUORICE. This was by far the best course and only wish there was more of it. (Could have eaten 3 plates).

                                                                      Round 5

                                                                      Dessert wine was not as sweet as the first wine but was a delight (Vert L'or) and went well with the white chocolate dessert. This was nice if not hugely memorable and could have done with more of it.

                                                                      Got an irish Coffee to accompany the petit fours, which were lovely and left feeling very satisfied even if my wallet had a big hole in it.

                                                                      €150 spots a piece tip included.

                                                                      3 hours start to finish.

                                                                      In summary the service was good and the staff were well informed and explained all the dishes to us in detail. They even took a pic of the 1st course that I missed. Just about the right amount of food but you don't need to starve yourself before going. I also think that it is cheaper outside of christmas trading times.

                                                                      9/10 for me - Food is the best I have had in dublin (since mint) and takes over from chapter 1 as my favourite for food. Star can't be too far away.

                                                                      Comment


                                                                        For D'Ex Pats:

                                                                        Restaurant Name: L'Artist

                                                                        Location: 6 Tigne Street, Sliema SLM 11, Malta

                                                                        Website: http://www.lartist.com.mt/main.htm

                                                                        Price Range: €€\€€€


                                                                        My Maltese dining experience to date has ranged from the sublime to the bizarre and everything in between.

                                                                        To say the Maltese culinary world is backward would be an understatement.
                                                                        Their staple diet consists of peas in pastry or cheese in pastry.
                                                                        Some days they push the boat out and opt for a cheesy peas combo..the swines.
                                                                        A hot-dog is called a Wuddy. In contrast to popular belief, munching on a 12 inch wuddy is not what I would describe as an appetizing lunch.
                                                                        They have without a doubt the most retarded approach to life.

                                                                        eg. On an uncharacteristically chilly April evening I fancied some comfort food and opted for the old reliable
                                                                        Steak and Kidney Pie & Chips. When the pie arrived I patiently waited for the chips.
                                                                        The waitress seemed to breeze off into the distance and it became clear that if I wanted my chips I would have to
                                                                        resort to my powers of telekinesis to move her arse away from the TV and back into the kitchen.
                                                                        She sensed my discomfort and asked me if everything was OK.
                                                                        When I barked that I was waiting for my chips she provided me with a typically Maltese solution.
                                                                        Dee cheeeeps? They are inside dee pie, no?

                                                                        ...I cut open the bastard and there they were. Inside the fucking pie...animals!

                                                                        Another such outing involved a Terriyaki Restaurant in Sliema. I'd ordered a few starters and a main.
                                                                        When my Chicken skewers arrived smothered in white gunk I inquired as to what the hell it was.
                                                                        Japanese citrus mayonaise sir, a little surprise from the chef.
                                                                        After a lifetime of intolerance to the stuff I wonder how surprised the chef would be had I become violently ill after consuming the mayo...SURPRISE!!

                                                                        I found a spot across the road from my apartment which turned out to be a little gem.
                                                                        L'Artist is not cheap by Maltese standards so this appeared a promising proposal.
                                                                        The menu looked inventive with dishes like Oven baked Foie Gras served with Tempura Fried Langoustine and Lemon Sorbet
                                                                        (€11.50 which is expensive considering you can get a steak for €12 in most restaurants)
                                                                        Wild mushroom soup with Strawberry Coulis looked interesting for a moment until I recalled with suspicion the Steak and Kidney Pie fiasco.
                                                                        The mains ranged from an amazing seafood "fury" to Roast Duck & Grouper with a balsamic reduction.
                                                                        The host Gino welcomed me and made no issue of my lone diner status.
                                                                        Instead he joked that if any single ladies passed by he'd ask them to join me.
                                                                        What a prick. I liked him!

                                                                        I don't mind dining alone for a few reasons:

                                                                        1.) Who better to dine out with than someone you love?
                                                                        2.) Should you wish to play credit card roulette you can accurately pre-calculate the result
                                                                        3.) The conversation will usually move at your pace and include topics of your choosing.

                                                                        He explained the menu, the winelist and the many awards they had won.

                                                                        The foie gras arrived and looked..big. I love Foie Gras and don't want to get into any debate regarding Goose welfare.
                                                                        In fact I think all Geese and Seagulls are idiots.
                                                                        Geese are nothing but imbecile swans and should be approached with utter contempt. Unlike swans they make horrible drinking partners.
                                                                        Swans are attentive listeners and will insist upon driving you home after a night on the sauce.
                                                                        A goose will not.
                                                                        At least they're getting fed right?

                                                                        There's geese out in Africa who would gladly trade lives if only the opportunity arose.
                                                                        Ah sure he was well fed I thought as I dug into the stuff.
                                                                        I would have much preferred a panfried version but suppose asking any chef to slave over a pan in this heat would be too much.
                                                                        The tempura Langoustine added some texture to the dish while the lemon sorbet cleared the decks for the next course.

                                                                        While I waited on the Roast Duck and Grouper combo Gino showed me a picture of his better half.
                                                                        My wife, she is beautiful, no? he offered.
                                                                        I nodded in approval trying to resist the temptation to tell him she was a fuckin ride.
                                                                        The whole place, Gino included oozes charm. The walls of L'Artist are lined with unusual musical instruments like acoustic bass guitars and mandolins.
                                                                        The only offputting aspect to the experience was Ginos attire. I fucking hate feet and for a restaurant manager to appear in open toe sandals is inexcusable.
                                                                        If he was too hot then clearly the restaurant required better air conditioning.
                                                                        The wine list was a little pricy but had an amazing top end offering in the form of Barolo and Pouilly Fuisse.

                                                                        I was finishing up just in time to hear Gino make smalltalk with an elderly couple a few tables over.
                                                                        "My wife, she is beautiful no?"
                                                                        I'll have to get me one of those beautiful wives I thought before requesting the bill.
                                                                        Bill including two glasses of house wine came to €45.
                                                                        In comparison I could have purchased 30 pints in my local for that price but in reality there was no comparison.
                                                                        It was my first decent culinary experience since I got here. For that I would have gladly paid double.

                                                                        -1 for open toe sandals
                                                                        -1 for pricy wine list
                                                                        -0.5 for oven baked foie gras
                                                                        _____________________________
                                                                        Total Points 7.5

                                                                        L'Artist will be my first port of call when I return next month. Apart from the point dockers above I hope they haven't changed much.

                                                                        Comment


                                                                          Originally posted by iSnow View Post
                                                                          ......Dee cheeeeps? They are inside dee pie, no?

                                                                          ...I cut open the bastard and there they were. Inside the fucking pie...animals!......
                                                                          /thread

                                                                          Comment


                                                                            Restaurant Name: Il Primo

                                                                            Location: Montague Street, Dublin (a few doors down from the Jackpot Club)

                                                                            Website: http://www.ilprimo.ie/index.html

                                                                            Price Range: €€\€€€

                                                                            Just a short review of Il Primo off Wexford Street in Dublin.

                                                                            It's been about for 20 years selling authentic and simple Italian fare according to its website.

                                                                            Various food critics have proclaimed its risotto the best in Dublin and its hand made pasta to die for. My wife had eaten there before and was treating me to a night out

                                                                            So we had the risotto (pulled cider pork) and pasta (prawns, garlic, chili and spinach) and they were very good. I have enough risotto left for breakfast. (Breakfast risotto is often the best risotto - try it, you'll like it!)

                                                                            Prior to that i had the sirloin strip w/rocket and parmesan and my good lady wife had chicken liver and marsala bruschetta. Again both lovely (the chicken liver the more tasty by a short head).

                                                                            Chocolate cake and affogato to finish and all washed down with a bottle of Franz Haas Pinot Grigio, Trentino-Alto-Adige '10 (according to the website!)

                                                                            So 7.5*/10 for an informal, traditional but with modern quirks, Italian supper.

                                                                            Total cost €107 + tip

                                                                            B.HiFi

                                                                            * .5 docked for the music. Not the place for Reservoir Dogs soundtrack or New Orleans blues. Try some Italo-jazz/spaghetti soundtracks for extra grooviness.

                                                                            Comment


                                                                              Breakfast Risotto? Risotto...for breakfast? That's a damn fine idea.

                                                                              Comment


                                                                                Originally posted by iSnow View Post
                                                                                Breakfast Risotto? Risotto...for breakfast? That's a damn fine idea.
                                                                                Kedgeree imo
                                                                                "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                                                                Comment


                                                                                  I haven't posted a review in ages, and have been eating out a lot in recent months - Jaipur in Malahide x 2 (good), The Bridge x 3 (always really enjoyable), Taste of Everest (great option for a 'cheap' Indian / Nepalese), The Dining Room at La Stampa (wouldn't go without a voucher), Ely HQ (ok food but service slow), The Waterloo (nice gastro-pub grub), a few places in Galway. Just never find the time to write a full review in work anymore, damn actually having to work a full day in the office


                                                                                  Comment


                                                                                    Originally posted by Raoul Duke III View Post
                                                                                    Kedgeree imo
                                                                                    Nice, then a shooters sandwich for breakfast. I'll be buying tweed next

                                                                                    Comment


                                                                                      Originally posted by Gimmeabreak
                                                                                      somebody needs to step up to the plate.
                                                                                      Salamanca last night. Wouldn't go back, it is unworthy of further virtual ink.

                                                                                      Epic review due around mid-April
                                                                                      "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

                                                                                      Comment


                                                                                        Anyone up for debaucherous IPB evening sometime soon?

                                                                                        Comment


                                                                                          Originally posted by Raoul Duke III View Post
                                                                                          Salamanca last night. Wouldn't go back, it is unworthy of further virtual ink.

                                                                                          Epic review due around mid-April
                                                                                          Really ???

                                                                                          I find it's really upped it's game for weekend lunch.

                                                                                          It used to be overpriced, poor service and often cold but I've had a few pleasant lunches over the last few months there....
                                                                                          ‘IF YOU had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.” Genghis Khan

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                                                                                            Originally posted by Gimmeabreak
                                                                                            If it is Tapas you are after then Havanas on the Bottom of Georges St is the place. I know Hitch went and loved it, pretty sure cardshark has been there also and gave it a big thumbs up.
                                                                                            +1

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                                                                                              Going here for dinner with friends this evening.

                                                                                              Dhaba is more than a mere dining experience, so let's embark together on a complete gastronomic journey 'on a budget', in a stylish surrounding and with a friendly efficient service.


                                                                                              Anyone been? May do a short review later.

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                                                                                                Originally posted by iSnow View Post
                                                                                                [B]
                                                                                                Dee cheeeeps? They are inside dee pie, no?

                                                                                                ...I cut open the bastard and there they were. Inside the fucking pie...animals!
                                                                                                If frey bentos did this id be in heaven.

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                                                                                                  Restaurant Name: 777
                                                                                                  Location: Great Georges St

                                                                                                  http://www.777.ie/home.html

                                                                                                  Price Range €€€

                                                                                                  10 of us booked in here on friday evening for monthly get-together, wouldnt take a booking for 11 and when we got in you could see why, place is a bit cramped to say the least. Had to walk through the Kitchen to get to the loo's, we had a table opposite the bar, and there was an annoying amount of people knocking into us. Staff had to serve food and drinks dodging patrons, which they did fairly cheerfully and adeptly. I dont like a long narrow table for meals like this, ends up with people cut off from conversations and a lot more shouting than i would normally do sober.

                                                                                                  We had the family style menu, no choices involved, which i dont mind at all. Plates were given out, almost kiddie sized due to the space constraint most likely. Food was delivered on a platter into centre of each table with an explanation. Portioned out for serving ourselves which i enjoy, theres a bit of interaction etc Tortilla chips to start with, good quality guacamole and salsas, chips had the right amount of crunch.
                                                                                                  As the platters were delivered we shared out the portions then they were whipped away to make room for the next batch. This was all done impressively smoothly must say. The plates however were a bit small to hold the food.
                                                                                                  The starters were the best course for me, lovely crab meat with a fresh zingy salsa wrapped in a lettuce leaf. Then a pulled pork tortilla with citrusy flavours. There was a snapper dish that was fairly hefty on the heat, some of the girls thought a bit fiery but for me was nicely done. Was also a chicken tortilla which had disintegrated by the time i got it from the jostling around during serving.

                                                                                                  The mains were pork ribs, chicken and rump of beef. The beef was cooked just right, beautiful colour and looked v appealing. Bit of chimichurri sauce went well with it. Chicken i wouldnt have got too excited about, the pork ribs were fine too but not that memorable.
                                                                                                  Chargrilled sweetcorn side was fab, and garlic saute potato cubes which were fairly standard issue for most places.

                                                                                                  Desserts were a bit Meh, had a rhubarb flan which i found bland. Chocolate brownie looked and tasted good but could have been from any restaurant anywhere really. Was absolutely full by then anyway.

                                                                                                  Had a few bottles of mexican beer, cant remember what it was called but tasty enough. Lots of cocktails consumed by the girls, the drinks bill was probably as much as the food bill, but that seems standard enough for Dublin. Came out @ €50 a head including a decent tip, definitely thought the staff deserved it. In spite of the space issues, still had a v enjoyable night and if they hadnt been on top of their game it could have been a load of hassle for us.

                                                                                                  7/10
                                                                                                  Low fee Euro/UK money transfer, 1st transfer free through my referral
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                                                                                                    The next IPB dining night has a challenger....

                                                                                                    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/T7y8k9iyEt8?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

                                                                                                    We'll show those Italians how it's done!!
                                                                                                    ‘IF YOU had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.” Genghis Khan

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                                                                                                      Ah One Pico....how very 1998 of you.

                                                                                                      Must be doing something right to have survived this far.
                                                                                                      "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

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                                                                                                        OP updated with links to the latest bunch...

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                                                                                                          Originally posted by Gimmeabreak
                                                                                                          If it is Tapas you are after then Havanas on the Bottom of Georges St is the place. I know Hitch went and loved it, pretty sure cardshark has been there also and gave it a big thumbs up.
                                                                                                          Been there a couple of times. Would say it's decent alright. Kind of feel like its the best by default of the rest being sub-par. Havana is solid but unspectacular, but until something better comes along if I'm in the mood for tapas there's one one option that I'm aware of.

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                                                                                                            In my defence, it was the Vergelegen V that I consumed in your gaff, not the more ordinary Shiraz. Clearly I couldn't allow such an exceptional wine to be appreciated by your less-refined palate.

                                                                                                            Excellent review, I haven't been there for about 15 years but sounds like it's worth revisiting.
                                                                                                            "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

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                                                                                                              Went to Locks Brasserie Sat night. Wasn't blown away but some nice dishes alright. I'll do up a review later if I get the chance.

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                                                                                                                Restaurant Name: The Vintage Kitchen

                                                                                                                Location: Poolbeg Street, Dublin 2

                                                                                                                Website: here

                                                                                                                Price Range: €€\€€€

                                                                                                                Review:

                                                                                                                The Vintage Kitchen is a brand-new enterprise, unpromisingly located on the best-avoided concrete craphole that is Poolbeg Street. All you are likely to find around here is bums, junkies, Dublin Bus inspectors and commuters scurrying through rapidly. And lovers of literary pubs, for Mulligans of Joycean fame is located right next door to the Vintage Kitchen. A happy confluence of cuisine, culture and carousing that suited my deviant designs last Saturday evening. I had plotted an early family dinner, followed by a plethora of pints in Mulligans and potential potting at the IO. The early part of the plan proceeded as follows:

                                                                                                                The Vintage Kitchen is a small joint with maybe 35 seats and a vibe that can best be described as 'quirky'. They allow anyone to bring in music - as long as it's vinyl and fits the restaurants overall tone of non-conformity. I did recognise some fairly avant-garde stuff from the 1970s, who the feck it was I couldn't tell you but it was all suitably relaxing. There is also some kitschy, well, crap scattered about that is allegedly for sale but why anyone would want to clutter up their gaff with the junk from some defunct granny's attic is beyond me. That's what car boot sales are for, not dining establishments. The final bit of oddity is a most welcome development - a BYOW policy with zero, yes zero, corkage. This is such a rare occurrence in Dublin dining that it deserves both support and a constant questioning of other joints as to why they are not doing likewise. Restaurants all over Australia manage to do the same without going out of business so why not here? The wine policy gave me licence to go mad with a bottle of very tasty Valpolicello Ripasso, I reckon most Dublin restaurants would gouge you for €60 on the same (retail; about €25). Well played Vintage Kitchen.

                                                                                                                The menu is a simple affair with five starters and five mains. The deal is €25 for two courses, €30 for three. We arrived at five and settled in to an empty establishment with a friend of ours whom I had lined up for the post-dining scrofulous surrounds of Mulligans. The place soon started filling up so word has clearly got around. They were clearly not used to kids, having no high chair and no kids menu. No matter, I queried the hostess as to what they could do for the kids and she suggested a chicken and pasta dish with orzo pasta. Very tasty it was too, to the point where all the adults sampled liberally from the kids bowls. The adult options were all big on provenance with an insistence on identifying the geographical antecedents of each offering, hence 'Slaney lamb', 'Wicklow duck liver', 'Monaghan ham' etc etc. A nice thing to see in the days of horse burgers I suppose. I went for the duck liver, to be followed by rib eye which I ordered medium-rare. The hostess regarded me sternly; "we recommend that our diners order the rib-eye medium". "Yes, so do I but fucking Irish chefs invariably over-cook the fucking meat, hence I am in the habit of ordering it less cooked to compensate", I managed to say inside my head and not out loud, acquiescing meekly with a cynical nod. The other two adults went for goats cheese and mussels to start and both plumped for the 'Slaney lamb shank' for mains.

                                                                                                                The food that eventuated was almost as quirky as the music selection. First some bizarre bread that had an unconscionable quantity of sea salt piled on top. Once you scraped that off, the loaf was appealing enough with some rosemary baked through it but it was accompanied by one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen on a table; cabbage butter. "WTF?" said our eyebrows as they hit the roof and "what the fuck is this shit?" responded our taste buds as the cabbage butter hit the roofs of our mouths. Truly insane. Thankfully the starters began the retrieval mission of respect for the lunatics in charge of this particular asylum. My 'duck liver creme' was exquisitely smooth, attended by a brioche bun and an excellent contrast in plum jam which cut the unctuousness of the liver perfectly. The battiness did continue with the choice of a jam jar as receptacle for the liver but that slight was allowable in light of the excellence of the dish. The mussels were also exceptional but for some inexplicable reason, raisins were deemed a suitable ingredient in the creamy sauce. No matter, they were deemed excellent by all, including the kids who pride themselves on their appreciation of piscatorial produce. Mrs Duke was satisfied with her St Tola goats cheese.

                                                                                                                Onto mains and the companion triumphantly produced his bottle of wine - a Fleurie. Too light for our meaty selections I feared but it just about cut the mustard. My steak was just on the 'over' side of medium but not unpleasantly so. I begrudgingly gave the chef his due here and the meat itself was a well-aged and very tasty portion. The sides were again tinged with daftness, a dish of mushrooms arriving in a dinky little pot that reminded me of a commode but the contents were more than adequate, a mix of wild and farmed mushrooms that had been sauteed and liberally doused in a buttery sauce. I could have eaten them alone as a main and been happy. Garlicky mash rounded out the dish. The other two diners were equally happy with their very tender lamb shanks, the meat falling off the bone from long, slow cooking and a deeply savoury dark and sticky sauce to mop it all up with. There was a suggestion of over-salting from Mrs Duke.

                                                                                                                At this juncture, the kids were beginning to become rebellious after their chocolate and ice-cream dessert and so Mrs Duke, saint that she is, set sail for home and left the Drinking Companion and I to contemplate the dregs of the wine over a cheeseboard. This had an excellent selection, at least eight all-Irish cheeses but it wouldn't be the Vintage Kitchen without a nutty touch to round things off and it duly appeared in the guise of an 'apricot Stilton'. I put some in my mouth without thinking. What sort of deranged maniac would come up with such a thing? Horrifying. Espressos were good and set us up nicely for the three-metre commute to Mulligans where we remained until closing time, pondering the immutable mysteries of creation. Unfortunately we had not arrived after 'the Scotch House closed and we went around to Mulligans' but we certainly did feel plump and stately after our repast. The damage for three kids and three adults was €118 which I considered acceptable. There is some outstanding cooking going on here and also some touches which can best be described as akin to madness. Once they tone down the latter, this could be a really great dining destination. As it is, it's certainly entertaining and well worth a visit - there isn't really anywhere like it.

                                                                                                                7/10
                                                                                                                "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

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                                                                                                                  77 and 78 updated on the OP. Gettiing toward the region of review number 100 gents, I hope there is something special in store......

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                                                                                                                    @ RDIII, might try that Vintage Kitchen tomorrow evening about 6pm with herself, would it need to be booked or just stroll in?

                                                                                                                    Also nearest decent wine selection?

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                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Dice75 View Post
                                                                                                                      @ RDIII, might try that Vintage Kitchen tomorrow evening about 6pm with herself, would it need to be booked or just stroll in?

                                                                                                                      Also nearest decent wine selection?
                                                                                                                      I would book, it's pretty small and they were turning punters away when we were there. There is no wine shop nearby so buy locally and bring with you.
                                                                                                                      "We are not Europeans. Those people on the continent are freaks."

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                                                                                                                        il Vicollo Cafe &amp; Wine Bar

                                                                                                                        Name: il Vicollo Cafe & Wine Bar

                                                                                                                        Location: Buttermilk Walk, Galway

                                                                                                                        Website: http://www.ilvicolocafe.com

                                                                                                                        Price Range: €€€

                                                                                                                        We received a gift voucher for il Vicollo before Christmas, and had tried to get a reservation there a few times since then, without success. No recession in Galway maybe?! My brother and sister-in-law rave about the place, so we were suitably hyped after finally getting our reservation for last night.

                                                                                                                        After a pint in the lively Dail Bar a few minutes' walk away, we arrived at il Vicollo for 9pm and instantly realised how we had such difficulty getting a reservation before - the place is tiny, no more than 8 small tables and a few seats at the counter, so maybe room for a total of 20 diners per sitting.

                                                                                                                        We were comfortable enough despite the tight layout, and got straight down to business by ordering our food and asking for some advice on a suitable bottle of wine to accompany the meal - we were directed towards a nice Pinot Blanco. The menu changes daily, so neither of us had any particular meal in mind before arriving.

                                                                                                                        To begin, we shared the Scallops starter, which consisted of three large, almost whole scallops in a delicious creamy sauce, with crunchy sour bread. You can never go wrong with scallops, I'd easily eat ten of them for a main!

                                                                                                                        We went in contrasting directions when it came to our mains; I went for the waitress-recommended Sea Bass, with champ, fried potato squares and lime and paprika butter sauce, while herself decided on the Stuffed Courgettes, which were filled with soft cheese and more, and accompanied by a red pepper risotto. Both mains were very well received, I tried the courgettes and would have been happy to have ordered that, while she liked the flakey-yet-substantial Seabass - I got so much fish that I had lots to share!

                                                                                                                        I was too full to contemplate anything other than a dessert wine (a red recommended by the chef), while my dining partner went for an affogato, an espresso and ice-cream combo I had never heard of before.

                                                                                                                        The restaurant did wonderful business while we were there, with no seat unoccupied for very long, and a very lively atmosphere. Although you were almost rubbing elbows with those on the table next door, it didn't feel claustrophobic in any way. The wait staff were very friendly and professional, and well used to the nonstop hustle.

                                                                                                                        The total bill came to €100 on the nose, which seemed reasonable value considering the quality of the experience. We'all definitely go again - despite the difficulty involved in foregoing the mother's cooking while visiting the ancestral homestead in Knocknacarra!

                                                                                                                        8/10


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                                                                                                                          Restaurant: Locks Brasserie

                                                                                                                          Location: Between Harold Cross and Portobello Bridges

                                                                                                                          Website: http://www.locksbrasserie.com/restaurant
                                                                                                                          Price: €€€


                                                                                                                          Went here two weeks back on a Sat night for dinner. Was really looking forward to it as had heard great things and of course they got a Michelin star last year. I suppose I was comparing it to Chapter One (only other Michelin star restaurant I have eaten in) which might have been a bit unfair as it does style itself as a brasserie.

                                                                                                                          Got there around 8.30 and were seated downstairs (they have tables upstairs too) in a room that holds about 40. Atmosphere was quite good and the waiting staff were good and casual. One thing I didn’t like about the wait staff was when they brought our food they described it exactly as it was on the menu. I could have done that myself. We ordered a carafe of some red wine (wife picked it as I was driving) and a bottle of still water. Had one glass of the red and it was v good. They bring a fresh bottle of red to the table and fill the carafe from that (maybe standard??). Some breads arrived and they were only ok, pretty run of the mill brown and white with nothing that tasted exceptional.

                                                                                                                          For starters I went for the scallops with monks beard, fennel crisp, wild lapristi (??) and lemon snow. Wife went for the foie gras terrine. Mixed bag to be honest. I got 5 scallops on the plate but they were either very small or cut in half. I love fennel but got absolutely no taste from the crisp. I didn’t know what lapristi was (know now its like samphire) but I didn’t need to as there certainly wasn’t any on my plate!! The lemon snow was tasty but lost its wow factor after the first scallop. The foie gras however was a masterpiece. Absolutely melt in the mouth. It is quite rich though so I probably wouldn’t eat more than 6 or 7 pounds of it!!!

                                                                                                                          For mains I chose the hay smoked venison with potato and veg and wife went for the skate with prawns. Again I came out on the losing side here. I’m fairly easy to please (food wise) but it just didn’t blow me away. The venison was very good but the potato (mash) and poitin gravy wasn’t amazing. Funny enough the turnips and carrots were probably the best on the plate (arranged standing out of the mash like the pick your own layout that was recently done on masterchef). Portion wise I could have probably eaten the same again but maybe that’s just cos I’m a fat bastard. The wife’s dish was excellent again though. The skate was rolled and cooked with some type of crumb layer. There were beautiful prawns, bits of bacon and some kind of croquette with what tasted like more prawns and potato inside. The croquette alone was worth the money for this dish and I would happily have eaten 10 of them!!!.

                                                                                                                          We skipped dessert as we were meeting friends for a drink (I’m not really into desserts anyway) and the bill came to €101plus tip which I suppose is fair enough. I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing but maybe I went there with my expectations set too high. Also I def came out second in the selection of both starters and mains.

                                                                                                                          I wouldn’t put anyone off going there as the food is good but not sure I’d go out of my way to recommend it.

                                                                                                                          Rating 7/10

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